And what about brother Benny you say?....
Well...he was associated and concerned about the
performance of the Lakers in a remote way. Benny during
this time was under the tutelage of a Greek
Immigrant living in Las Vegas. His name was James Snyder
aka Jimmy.
In Today's
Tribune Thursday May 23, 2002
Crystina
Gives Us Her "Ode To Love"
- So
mysterious, so elusive, so enticing.
What is Politics to a Young Boy
-A
humorous story
More Politics....From a Confederate Point of View
-
Stonewall Tuttle discusses politics from Dixie
The
Sage Speaks!
- Insights into life from the wise-one!
"ODE TO LOVE"
Love
is strong, it is bold.
The love for others grows like a rose.
And the love that he reaps is what he sows.
Will the love ever grow old?
How and why a love was there,
It may never be known.
As it progresses it is shown
Love may not be fair.
Love causes no such pain,
If it does so, it is not real,
Real love makes one capable to feel
Does real love long for gain?
By: Crystina Tamayo
Politics
From a Young Point of View
A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two
weeks but nothing happened.
Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed
to GOD USA, they decided to send it to President Bush.
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that
he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a
$5.00 bill.
President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot
of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down
to write a thank you note to GOD, which read:
Dear GOD,
Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I
noticed that for some reason you had to send it through
Washington D.C. and, as usual, those idiots deducted
$95.00!
Pile-a-ticks
I have been advised that Old Lady Clinton is going to
run for President next term.
It seems that she wasn't treated fairly by the house
of Cenate and Centadoor, Gary Conders the guy that
dosen;t know where his girl friend is after she
disaperred.
Hell ! Our boy Billie knew and still does know where
all his girl friens are and so does Old Lady Clinton
She has told a guy at King Times News,Stokes
County,N.C. that if a pile-a-tison dosen't know where
their girl friends and/or boy friends are there is
something krooked going on!
I believe she (Old Lady Clinton) would be a good
president for our Mercias both in our South and even
the North ones.
I know about Pilaticks because i was Edukatted by my
Cousin Fred Tuttle up in Vermont,He ran for one of
them thar high up offices,Altho he lost the Erection.
He kept his humor and dickneetitty.He said that he
wanted to get Erection because he wanted to make every
one in Vermont rich.
Well when he lost and here comes all those Snoopy News
Paper People and said Fred how does it feel to be a
looser,you only got one vote and that was yours.
He Rired back and said Looser Hell!
Weel,that goes to show you that every one in vermont
is already rich except me!
He now is running a Conception Stand up thar and doing
well.
Ralph G. (Stonewall Tutle Sr.
Mr. Eatadoor,
Thank you for answering my letter you are so kind to
your Reeders.
Some-one should give you an award
some how!
some where!
some way!
I will try to get you the Out-House award this year
in King, Stokes County, N.C. This is a pres-tit-ages
award back here. If I kant get you Nomanated on this
ballet in King, Maybe I kan get ya on the one in
Danbury, N.C The County Seet of Stokes County, N.C.
Who in the Hell - is -Trib-or-Tilly ? Is She Gew-ish?
And There You Go Again !
No Address written down to reach her at.
Ralph G. (stonewall) Tuttle Sr.
Editors note: Tilly does not have an e-mail
address as of yet. Please forward all inquires to" neendogg@msn.com she
will forward them to Tilly.
The Great Sage Speaks
GREAT
TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize
cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her
brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They
always catch the second
person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a
tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same
time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of
milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white
shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is
Grandpa's lap.
GREAT
TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a
tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge . . .mostly sweet, with a
few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that
held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on
the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the
fiber, not the joy.
GREAT
TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the
preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can
do while you're down
there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same
sensation from a rocking chair
that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers,
but nobody bothers to ask
you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy
beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes
alone.
THE
FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants
In Today's
Tribune
Sunday May 19, 2002
Are you looking for Past Articles?
- All
previous articles are moved (usually on the weekend) to
their respective week of introduction. You can find them
by scrolling down the left hand side of this page until
you get to the archives section. Then pick your week!
Game Time
- A
new feature! Wanna play Boggle?
Now We Are Talking
- Our
own Crystina Tamayo showcases her work
Belated
Mother's Day Wish!
- June Cleaver speaks out
Address Page Issues
- A
Concerned Voice
Auto Parts Mayhem
- Humor
is "busting" out all over
In an effort to keep you entertained we have come
up with the following websites which have some pretty good
word and video games. We will post the direct links below
and down the left hand side column.
"Boggle" An addictive word game
http://www.iwaynet.net/~ggwiz/boggle/index.html
"Home Run Derby" Its a home run
hitting contest
http://www.candystand.com/games/cs_shock_cshr.htm
(This takes awhile to load but it is worth it! Great
sound effects especially after a ball is hit "outta
the park")
"Ping Pong" Forrest Gump has nothing on this
machine
http://www.miniclip.com/pingpong.htm
Contributions from our readers
The
following prose was submitted by Teena's daughter,
Crystina Tamayo
"I HEAR AMERICA SINGING"
By: Crystina Tamayo
I hear America singing, the varied carols I hear,
Those of mailmen, each one singing his,
As it should be jolly and willing,
The clerk singing hers as she serves with a smile,
The cop singing his as he protects the lost and
bewildered.
The mother singing hers as she carries on duties
Of love for her young ones.
The teachers singing theirs while knowledge flows
Free upon available ears.
America continues to sing, with unending praise.
Singing with open mouths their strong melodious songs.
Editors note: Thank you Crystina for your
submission. If you have others we would like to read them.
A Belated Mother's Day Request
The
following was submitted on the messageboard. And since the
younger folks may not be aware of who the mother
that is doing the requesting we decided to give the you
younger folks the complete lowdown.
In the fifties there was a very popular tv
family sitcom called "Leave it to Beaver". All
about a kid named Beaver.
It starred Jerry Mathers as the
"Beaver". Tony Dow was his older brother Wally.
Hugh Beaumont played his father and the lady sending the
message, Barbara Billingsley, played Beaver's Mom June
Cleaver. Lately there has been a nostalga trend hitting
the US. People wanted to re-unite the Cleaver Family.
However they were unable to locate the star Jerry Mathers
So Mrs. Cleaver wrote:
Posted by June Cleaver on
5/19/2002 from 64.24.180.97:
Has anyone seen my Beaver?
Address Page Issues
Have you been looking in the address page and
finding the address listed is the wrong one? Don't feel
bad read the following.
Dear
Eatadoor,
Will
you please update the E-mail Addressess in your Neen
Tribune News Paper. I have tried to E-mail the
"Junior" Ron Watson family using the E-mail
address posted in your Neen Tribune News Paper (Temecia@gateway.net)and
it comes back (Return to Sender). This has caused me a
great deal of stress because I am in Stokes County, King,
N.C.. My first thought was it may be because of the
Tele-Type System that they still use in this area or the
low voltage electrical service. BUTT I checked with my
Neighbor Thomas Edison about the problem and he assured me
that the "Problem" Lies with-in your control and
the Responsibility =als your fault for not keeping up to
date on this. He also assured me that King, Stokes County,
North Carolina is with-in one of the First 13 Colonies in
the United States of Merica and is more up to date than
any other Township /Colony or Providence in South America
or Candina.
NOTE:Not
only did this man Discover Electricity he is also:
(#1) A good family man
(#2) A Pillow of the Community
(#3) A Christian man
(#4) Owns the local Beer Joint
(#5) Part time Preacher* He is also an Indian Scout! He
Found one Indian Woman in his Beer Joint just the other
nite and took her into the back room for her safety and he
kept calling other indian scouts into the back room so
that it would allow him to come out for a break. He along
with a lot of the other indian Scouts held her in that
back room for her safety until the next morning. Every
time that another indian Scout would go into the the back
room that one would sing a song until another one would go
in and they would sing it, "I am Proud to be an
American in "Dixie", Away,Away"
He
also wanted me to ask you what "whatage" and
"Vote Age" you are Running on. Because if your
WhatAge is to high it will not pick up the air wave as it
goes by and if your Voteage is to low you can not be the
Eatadoor of the News Paper because the Voteage should be
21.
(PS)
I recieved another E-mail Address for the
"Junior" Ron Watson Family from my Wife Sar-ah
(Petra), who Lives in California (temeciaspain@hotmail.com)
and this is just for local folk in your area of South
America.
*Will
you please help me get the right E-mail Address?
Ralph G. (stonewall) Tuttle Sr.
Editors Reply
Dear Mr Tuttle Sr.
We have been
receiving quite a few requests to update the Address
page. I am happy to inform you Tilly, our timekeeper,
has been rehired and she has been given the full
responsibility of updating the address page. She has
asked me to pass-on the following: If you have updated
or changed your e-mail address within the last year and
a half please notify the Trib or Tilly of the change.
Auto Parts Mayhem
The other
day I was in the Auto Zone part store.
A lady comes in and asks for a seven ten cap.
We all looked at each other and said, "What's a
seven ten cap?"
She said "You know, it's right on the engine.
Mine got lost somehow and I need a new one."
"What does it do?"
She said, "I don't know, but its always been
there."
The clerk gave her a note pad and asked her if she could
draw a picture. So she makes a circle about 3 inches
in diameter and in the center she writes 
.
A man went into the
proctologist's office for his first exam.
The doctor told him to have a seat.
In the examination room and that he would be with him in
just a few minutes.
When the man sat down and began observing the tools he
noticed there were three items on a stand next to the exam
table.
A tube of K-Y jelly;
A rubber glove; and
A beer.
When the doctor finally came in the man said, "Look
Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first exam. I know
what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but
can you tell me what the BEER is for?"
At that the doctor became noticeably outraged and stormed
over to the the door. The doc flung the door open and
yelled to his nurse.......
Dammit, Helen! I said a BUTT LIGHT
To My Dear Friend
the Dog :
I am so sorry about you being sent to the dog pound for
the broken lamp which you did not break; the fish you did
not spill; and the carpet that you did not wet; or the
wall that you did not dirty with red paint...
Things here at the house are calmer now, and just to show
you that I have no hard feelings towards you, I am sending
you a picture, so you will always remember me.
Best regards,
The Cat
Everybody is pulling for the Lakers,
hoping that once again they will be crowned Champions of the
World.
Larry
was an excellent ball handler. His hand-to-eye
coordination was superb. His peripheral vision was
outstanding. He could spot a teammate or an opposing
player, almost behind him. Not known as being camera shy,
he was aware of every photographer in the arena.
Tony had what you called a
lightning first step, which he used to drive around opposing
players. If he couldn't step around you he would step on
you!
