- The Name Game
- Caught on Film
- Photos by Pilip
- Wonder Drugs
Invented by women -for men
Do you wonder
how the name
"Amerfino"
evolved?
Read
the following article submitted by Lisha
Filipinos Pick Strange Names, Trying to Stand Out in Crowd.
Hitler Manila's Name Results From Law Limiting Surnames
By JAMES HOOKWAY
Staff Reporter of THE WALL STREET JOURNAL
April 19, 2002
MANILA -- A strange name has its unexpected advantages. "Sometimes it helps
with the ladies," says Hitler Manila, a smile flashing beneath his thick
mustache. "It's a memorable name, you know. But mostly, being called Hitler
stops people mistaking me for somebody else." And that is no small matter here in the Philippines. Thanks to Spain's
decision a century and a half ago to restrict its colony's choice of
surnames to a basket of generic Spanish names -- and the Philippines'
lumbering, under funded bureaucracy -- Filipinos find it harder and harder
to tell each other apart, particularly in the phone book. Mel Martinez, a gym instructor, winces as he remembers the long months he
spent trying to get cell phone service. "Some other guy with the same name
hadn't been paying his bills, so I couldn't get a line," he says. In the
end, he decided to just use prepaid phone cards -- less of a hassle, he
figured. Efforts to get bank loans and passports can become surreal experiences.
Thousands of Filipinos walk around with certificates from the National
Bureau of Investigation, the Philippines equivalent of the FBI, to prove
they aren't wanted for kidnapping or murder, because someone with the same
name is. Many Filipinos want to spare the next generation these problems. Jennifer
Camato, chief registrar at Makati City Hall, purrs as she dusts off a thick
ledger that contains the names of all the babies born in Makati, one of 17
cities that make up the sprawling landscape of skyscrapers and shantytowns
known as Metro Manila. "We've got some really good ones in here," she says.
"How about this? The name is Courtney, but it's spelled Kurtney." Others
have silent letters seemingly thrown in at random, like "Jhimmy" and "Jhoyce."
"It's all about being unique. It can save so much trouble in the long run,"
Ms. Camato says. Her boss, the mayor of Makati City, is named Jejomar Binay
-- a contraction of Jesus, Joseph and Mary, auspicious first names in this
overwhelmingly Catholic country. The Philippine name game traces back to 1521 with the arrival of the
Spanish. Thousands of Filipinos adopted family names with religious
references such as Bautista, Santos or De la Cruz because they thought it
would bring good luck as they converted to Catholicism. That created
administrative headaches for the colonial authorities.
"They arbitrarily adopted the names of saints and this practice has
resulted in the existence of thousands of individuals having the same name," Spanish
Governor-General Narciso Claveria complained at the time. "I saw the
resultant confusion with regard to the administration of justice, government, finance and public order, as well as the far-reaching moral,
civil and religious consequences to which this might lead." In particular,
the governor-general fretted about cousins getting married without knowing
they were blood relations. His answer, in 1849, was to publish a list of acceptable names. Lazy
administrators in some towns bestowed the entire village with the same
name, such as Reyes or Villaneuva. But that hardly solved the problem of many
people, possibly related, with the same surname. Only powerful warlords or
rich families could retain their original surnames. (One of those names was
Macapagal, the last name of President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo's father.)
Basket of Surnames
Today, the basket of Spanish surnames introduced by Gov. Claveria is
proving insufficient to accommodate the Philippines' fast-growing population, now
estimated at 78 million and projected to double in 30 years. In the Manila
phone book, the Reyeses alone run to 13 tightly packed pages. So Filipinos
are getting creative where they can -- with first names. Many borrow from
other cultures in unexpected ways. When Maricel Gamboa was in the final stage of her pregnancy earlier this year, she thought long and hard about names for her child. She had heard horror stories from her friends about the headaches that common names can
cause. "I was determined I wouldn't let that happen to my child," says Ms.
Gamboa, 24, dressed in loose-fitting shorts and a T-shirt to combat the
tropical heat. So she started flipping through magazines for ideas. Weeks
later, she settled on Enrique, after pop singer Enrique Iglesias. But she
later decided that there were already too many Enriques in the Philippines.
Ms. Gamboa scrambled the letters and threw in a "k" for good measure, to
get Quenrik. "It's a good name," Ms. Gamboa says, bouncing the month-old
Quenrik on her knee. "It's unique." Mr. Martinez, the gym instructor, doesn't have it so easy. To verify that he isn't really the other Mel Martinez -- the deadbeat -- he has to present proof of identity. But he can only get this by paying a visit to the
country's national statistics office, with its facade of crumbling 1960s
concrete. The agency is in the throes of converting its paper files to
electronic files. But clerks for decades have sorted birth certificates
manually, which has led to long processing delays and many lost files.
Applicants such as Mr. Martinez have had to stand in line for hours to hand
in their forms, and then wait up to several weeks for the copy of the birth
certificate to arrive by mail. Understandably, Filipinos dread this process. Hence the offbeat name.
Hollywood stars have been popular inspirations, Elvis, for instance, and
still are today. Several babies have been named Pitt this year, registrars
say, after Brad Pitt.
Willian and Rommel
By 1968, the year Mr. Manila was born, names combining those of mother and
father began to take off, such as "Willian" (a hybrid of William and
Lillian) and "Rommel" (a cross between Romeo and Melanie). Ethnic-Chinese
Filipinos have been among the most inventive name generators -- turning
their given surnames into playful references to famous personalities. One
teenager goes by Michael Jacks Ong. Another is named Magic
Diongson. But Hitler Manila, who works at a telephone company, is in a league of his
own. He doesn't recall why his father, who died several years ago, fancied
that name. He takes pains to point out that he doesn't share any of the
dictator's beliefs. But, twisting a gold ring on his finger that is stamped
with a swastika, he says he fully embraces the uniqueness of the name.
Filipinos rarely remark about the spread of unorthodox names in the past
several decades -- because it has become so common. But foreigners aren't
always prepared for it. Once, while on vacation on Boracay Island, south of
the Philippine capital, Mr. Manila and a group of colleagues were shooting
pool with some visiting Germans. The games began cordially enough. Then Mr.
Manila wrote his name on the blackboard to signify that he had the next
game. "They wouldn't believe that my name was Hitler," he says. Things were
tense until Mr. Manila pulled out his driver's license as proof. Still, in the Philippines at least, being able to introduce yourself as
Hitler has a certain panache. In his single days, Mr. Manila says, girls
found the contrast between his name and good looks striking. "They would
remember me," recalls the 34-year-old. "The only problem was I didn't have
enough money to take them out on dates." Now, Mr. Manila has decided to "carry on the tradition." He recently named
his two sons Himmler and Hess, after Heinrich and Rudolf, two of Hitler's
henchmen. "My wife doesn't like it, though," he reports. "She made me put
in a middle name. So my eldest is called Himmler Michael Manila."
Editors
note: Amerfino is a name given to Ben by his father, Augustine,
which is a combination of the names "American" and
"Filipino"
Caught on Film
Photos by Pilip the
Potograper
Candid Shots - Rose on her Bingo
Nite?
NEW
DRUGS FOR MEN
With Viagra being such a great medical success for increasing
men's sexual prowess, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of
drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in
today's society.
Here are a few of the new ones:
DIRECTRA - a dose of this
drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent
of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared
to a control group of 0.2 percent.
PROJECTRA - Men given this
experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a
household repair project before starting a new one.
COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of
middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives
had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its
effects extend to noticing new clothing.
BUYAGRA - Married and
otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their
sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after taking this drug for
only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be
continued for a period longer than your favorite store's return
limit.
NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact
opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials
on sitting U.S. presidents.
NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug
had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised
sports and actually converse with other family members.
FLATULAGRA - This complex
drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food
solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.
FLYAGRA - This drug has been
showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly
Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.
PRYAGRA - About to fail its
clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an
irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other
people. Note: Apparent overdose turned three test subjects into
"special prosecutors."
LIAGRA - This drug causes
men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual
affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury and
Presidential Strength versions.
* EXCLUSIVE *
State
of the Website by our Publisher Neen
Hi All,
Because of your responses, I have decided to reopen the website for your amusement and enjoyment.
In regards to Benny's article, I am appealing to all of you out there to please let Benny know how you feel and to give him ANY type of feedback. For those of you who have already, we really appreciate your thoughts and comments. That was the determining factor as to whether or not we continue with this site.
I know exactly how Benny and the rest of you who contribute articles feel. I've experienced the same reaction when I've really put my all into and article only to find out that is was never read.
C'mon lets face it! You know it really isn't hard or time consuming to visit us yet there are probably less than 50% of you out there that visit the website at least once a week. I recommend everyone visit
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I have been around some of you when you open up the website and laugh your heads off at some pretty funny articles, complain that some of them are too long, some don't make sense, comment on the fact that there is nothing new or even state that your e-mail addresses have not been updated, etc, This is precisely the feedback we are looking for. If you do not wish to post your comments on the message board, e-mail them to any one of us and we will deal with them appropriately. We welcome each and every comment, remark and criticism. Without these, we have no idea which areas require improvement, which should be eliminated and what can we add to make our website interesting and amusing to you all.
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