Dedicated
to

Esperanza
Aquino
Aug 9, 1921
Sept 24,1983

Welcome to Keenos Korner

TO SOAR, AGAINST THE WIND  Part I


 (  Author's note -  This is a story about life, raising a child and watching them grow, go through ups and downs and changes.  We all hope that we have done a good job in preparing them for the independence that they need. Getting married is a big step for our kids and it is an experience in my life that will happen twice in a little over three months. )  


He wasn't really my Grandpa, but that is what I called him. I had never known a real Grandfather, so he substituted just fine. He was Grandpa to me. I really enjoyed spending time with him. He always seemed to understand me. He once told me, " There are lessons to be learned everyday." It always appeared to me that every minute I was with him, I learned something. This is my story that happened many, many years ago when I was ten years old.  Grandpa lived alone on the hill. He was such a kind man, always willing to help anybody in the neighborhood, at any time. He certainly helped mom and me with things around the house, since we were alone, along with my baby sister.

It was one particularly windy Saturday morning, in the month of March. As I ran up the hill to Grandpa's house, it seemed as if the wind was carrying me. I imagined how it would feel like to fly. I held my arms out and thrust my chest out and ran with the wind. I was delivering some chocolate chip cookies wih walnuts, I baked with Mom's help, of course. Grandpa loved homemade cookies. Mom had taught me to always show appreciation to kind people with words or gestures. The cookies were my idea. I knocked on the door and it swung open.
" Hi Grandpa. "
" Well good morning " he replied, as he reached out and we shook hands. This was a greeting he always gave me. His handshake was always firm and his skin so rough, very much the opposite of my baby sisters.
" I brought you some cookies, your favorites ". Every time I brought him cookies it did not matter what kind they were he always said that they were his favorite. He smiled so widely, like a child at Christmas.
" Thank you so much " he said, " Please come in ". Before he shut the door, I saw him gaze at the breezy sky.
" Looks like kite weather " he said.
" Have you ever flown a kite ? " he asked me. I never had, but I remember watching with envy, a classmate and his father flying one high in the sky and wishing I could try it.
" Nope " I answered.
" I'll be right back " he said as he walked into another room. I had seen several beautifully bright and fancy kites at the toy store. They came in many different shapes and sizes, but I knew we couldn't afford one. I pictured Grandpa returning with one of them and we would go directly outside to fly it.

I can't say that I was disappointed when he didn't, but I was curious when he reappeared. His arms were full of various objects and he laid them all out on the kitchen table. There were two long strips of wood, a large roll of Christmas wrapping paper, a big spool of string, some glue and an old torn shirt. He proceeded to inspect all of the materials.
" Oh I forgot the scissors ! " He exclaimed, then he went into the room to retrieve them. When he returned, he looked at me, smiled, and said, " You, my young friend, are going to create your very own. "



TO SOAR, AGAINST THE WIND  Part II              

I was very excited and eager, but I had no idea what to do or where to start. Grandpa must have noticed the puzzled look on my face, because he said,

" Don't worry, I will teach you "

" We will start by making a wooden cross. Do you know what a wooden cross symbolizes ? "

I didn't have to think of that answer because Mom taught Sunday school at church and had read children's stories of the bible to us.

" Yes " I answered, " Jesus died on a wooden cross. "

" That's correct " Grandpa said, " And, it has been a symbol of Christianity ever since "

 Grandpa showed me how to tie the two sticks together to make a cross.

" The center of the cross is the heart, " he said, " As it is with us"

So I tied it tight in the center to make it strong and sturdy. He showed me how to frame the cross with string and to use this frame to trace on to the Christmas wrapping paper, allowing extra space to fold and glue.

As I cut the paper, I noticed the pictures of baby Jesus and angels on the paper. I thought about how mom told me about the real reason we celebrate Christmas. When I finished cutting, I realized how symbolic this creation had become, and that God is in the center of my heart. I took a glance at Grandpa and he smiled and nodded at me as if he were reading my mind.

" Don't forget, that you are never, ever alone " he said. I was convinced that he knew what I was thinking.

 Just then I asked Grandpa,

" How did you learn to make kites ? "

" Well " he replied, " One day when I was about your age, I was walking home and I noticed something bright, fluttering in a tree. I climbed up and brought it down. It was a kite. Other than a slight tear here and a broken string there, it was in pretty good shape. You know, the person who made it even wrote a name on the front. It was such a long time ago that I forgot what the name was. Anyway, I studied how it was made and repaired it. I have made many just like it. The style may be outdated and it may be basic, but as it always is, appearance doesn't matter."

 He then showed me how to glue it, to bow the cross stick and to add a bridle made of string. Following his instructions, I cut the old shirt into strips, then tied them together and made a tail. I tied the end of the string from the spool to the bridle and then it was finished. Although it looked nothing like the ones in the store, I loved it. It was my own creation.

 " It's beautiful Grandpa ! " I exclaimed.

" You did a great job " he praised.

He then opened a kitchen drawer and grabbed a marker and proceeded to write on the front of the kite. I peered over his shoulder to read what he wrote.

Grandpa had written " The Child "

" That is what we'll call it " he said.

We both headed towards the front door. Suddenly he stopped and said " Oh I forgot the scissors. "

He slipped them into his coat pocket and we walked out the door. I was too excited to ask him why he needed the scissors. He probably needed them to untangle or repair the string, I thought. Finally, we were walking towards the open field behind his house.

  TO SOAR, AGAINST THE WIND  Part III     

I was eager and anxious and in my youthful exuberance I asked him, " Grandpa, can I try to fly it by myself ? "
" Sure you can " he replied. It looked like it would be easy. I soon found out it wasn't. I struggled and it fell. I was running myself ragged and having great difficulty raising The Child by myself. I had great expectations for The Child. I wanted it to rise above, to reach new heights, I believed it would fly. I was having problems with The Child and I was frustrated and did not know what to do. I had never experienced this before, it was all so new to me. It struck me that I wasn't prepared and I was lacking in the necessary skills and knowledge.

From a distance, Grandpa was watching me, but he wasn't saying anything. I came into this venture with confidence and felt that I knew what I was doing. I didn't anticipate the trouble I would have. I knew that I would not give up on The Child. I decided to rest for a minute. I took a deep breath. I thought about my mom and dad and their divorce. I thought about the problems that it had caused for all of us. It was a hard and trying time. Mom was doing her best and it wasn't easy. It really affected me, my happiness, my attitude and my school work. Mom had told me that Grandpa suggested to her to seek some outside help, some counseling. She did and our situation is improving. I am doing better. Just then I decided that I would seek some outside help and Grandpa would be my counselor.

" Grandpa " I yelled, " Will you please help me ? "
" I've been waiting for you to ask me" he replied, while walking towards me.

Grandpa walked very slow. Mom had told me that he suffered from arthritis. I noticed it in his hands when we shook hands. It didn't affect the firmness of his handshake. I had heard that he was a good athlete when he was young and that he loved to play the guitar, something that he is not able to do anymore. Although he suffered, he never complained and he adjusted very well. He was my hero. When he arrived he said,
" You must analyze the situation and remain calm. Understand the direction you must go". He then laughingly said, " The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind, the answer is blowing in the wind ". I laughed along with him, I did not know why, I guess it was a courtesy laugh. He always came up with words of wisdom.

" Once you know which way the wind is blowing " he said, " Then slowly raise it above your head, once it begins to fly then little by little release it higher and higher, that is what they mean when they say to take baby steps. Like a baby, you will fall but you will always get up and try it again." I followed his advice and it was beginning to fly. Now that I understood the simple basic steps, raising the child was much easier. We both benefited from his counseling.

  TO SOAR, AGAINST THE WIND  Part IV  

I held on firmly and did not want to let The Child go too far. Grandpa told me that occasionally it might tumble or nose dive. He said that if it happens, hold on tight and gently tug on the string.

I was so proud of The Child and it seemed to be smiling back at me. I didn't want to let it out of my sight. I was very cautious. Grandpa and I decided to sit down and relax. I wrapped the string around one leg and then the other, then held on tight.

 Grandpa pulled out the cookies that I gave him and handed me one.

" These cookies sure are delicious " He said, as he ate one and then another. Grandpa looked up to the sky at The Child and said,

" Oh, to soar, against the wind "

I then asked him,

" Grandpa, don't kites fly with the wind instead of against it ? "

He replied,

" Son, when the wind is at your back, you are with it, when you are facing it as The Child is then you are against it. But when it has control of you, without any attachments, you have no choice but to go with it. "

It made sense to me, so in my best Grandpa imitation I repeated,

" Oh, to soar, against the wind ! "

We both laughed out loud.

 Grandpa asked me,

" When you grow up, what do you want to be ? "

I answered,

" When I grow up, I want to be a doctor or a fireman, because I want to save peoples lives "

Grandpa, then began to say smiling,

" When I grow up .........."

" Grandpa ! " I laughed, " You're already grown up ! "

I remembered mom once telling me that in every man there is a little boy. Grandpa definitely had a little boy in him. I was curious to know what he was going to say. I knew I interrupted him, so I asked,

" Grandpa, will you please finish what you were going to say ? "

" When I grow up " he said " I will be rewarded "

At the time, I did not know what he meant. Just then the the string slipped out of my hand. I panicked. Luckily , it was wrapped around my legs.

Grandpa turned to me and suggested,

" Why don't you let it fly higher ? "

I was a little nervous about it, but I decided it would be alright. I released more string and it flew higher and higher. I stopped while it was still visible and kept an eye on it.

 Grandpa asked me what I was planning to do when I finished high school. I replied,

" I don't know yet, maybe go away to college or join the army, I know that if I moved away I would miss my mom and she would miss me."

" Sure it would be hard on her, " he said, " but everybody must follow their dreams to meet their goals. To live their own lives, I know your mom would want that for you. "

I listened and decided to fly The Child as high as it would go, to the end of the spool. I tied the string around my leg with double and triple knots so it was secure and would not fly away. It was barely visible. Grandpa continued,

" Freedom and independence is what everybody needs. It is the parents responsibility to prepare their children, and when the time comes, let them go."

 What he was saying made me think. I had raised The Child as far as I could and I was still in control. If I chose to, I can bring it in closer or even pull it in and ground it if I want, but it seemed to be pulling at me, as if it were trying to tell me something. I asked Grandpa if he could hold the string for me. While he did I reached in his coat pocket and pulled out the scissors. Then I cut the string. We both smiled as we watched The Child disappear from our sight, flying with the wind.

 

THE END

  

Almost all of you who read this do not know what it's like to have a relationship with a Grandpa. Some of you are blessed to have fond memories of time spent with one. We can only strive to show the love we have and to share it with our grandkids or nieces and nephews and create some everlasting memories. In life, we are constantly in a position of letting go. It happens when our kids become adults and move on or in the form of forgiveness when we feel that we have been wronged. Life is too short, as the saying goes. We should all learn to let go of ill feelings towards one another and move on. Letting go is a tough task when we lose the dearest of loved ones, but it may help us to celebrate their life while knowing they are at peace in the best of hands.