In Today's Tribune
By
Amerfino B. Aquino
Whee-Doggies! It's
Friday! We've got a crap load of stuff today so let's get this show
on the road.
Here's today's
tidbits
Scorpio's page has been
updated. Click on the link at the left to access it.
Don't forget
to view the Piknik photos
Click here
2003 Piknik
Photo Album
Born on
October 3rd
Gore Vidal (1925)
Chubby Checker (1941)
Lindsey Buckingham (1949)
Stevie Ray Vaughan (1954)
Gwen Stefani (1969)
Kevin Richardson (1971)
Neve Campbell (1973)
Special Birthday -
October 4th
Tia Frances Jaimes
I think the only reason my
husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only
time he hears someone tell him, "Wow,
that's a big one!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. How do you get down from an
elephant?
A. You don't; you get down from a
duck
Bins
Little Miss
Frampton?
What is the
Daily Buzzword for October 3rd?
impasse \IM-pass\ noun
What does it mean?
: a situation from which it seems impossible to escape;
especially : deadlock
How do you use it?
When one team walked off the field in protest, the
championship game was at an impasse and couldn't go on.
Are you a word wiz?
"Impasse" was borrowed into English in the 1850s, not long
before the start of the American Civil War. Which of these
other terms do you think first appeared in our language at
about the same time as "impasse"?
A. mooch, folktale, boogeyman
B. jack-o'-lantern, humbug, slobber
C. energetic, gigantic, spindly
D. billboard, snowblower, nerd
Answer:
The verb "mooch" (meaning "to wander about" or "to beg"),
the noun "folktale"(meaning "a timeless story circulated
orally among a people"), and "boogeyman" (meaning "a monstrous
imaginary figure") all began appearing in English texts during
the 1850s. "Jack-o'-lantern," "humbug," and "slobber" have
been around since the 1750s; "energetic," "gigantic," and
"spindly" are older still, dating from the 1650s. But
"billboard," "snowblower," and "nerd" are more recent --
they've only been showing up in English since the 1950s.
Ladies! Check Out
These Hunks!
Click here
http://www.funnyheck.com/men.html
The Pope
The Pope was finishing his sermon.
He ended it with the Latin phrase, "Tuti Homini" - (which means
Blessed be Mankind).
A women's rights group approached the Pope the next day.
They complained that the pope blessed all Mankind, but not
Womankind.
The next day, after His sermon, the Pope concluded by saying, "Tuti
Homini, et Tuti Femini" - (which means Blessed be Mankind and
Womankind).
The next day, a gay-rights group approached the Pope.
They said that they noticed that he blessed mankind and
womankind, and asked if he could also bless gay people.
The Pope said, "Sure".
The next day, the Pope concluded his sermon with,
"Tuti Homeni, et Tuti Femini, et Tuti Fruiti."
His And Hers
Garages
Today's Jigsaw
puzzle
Runnerup
Click here
http://www.jigzone.com/ms/z.php?ui=620820049i1012906&z=48_piece_classic
That's it for this
week. We hope you all have a pleasant and safe weekend. Tune in
Monday when we'll bring you more fun stuff and information. Happy
Birthday Tia. Peace.
The following is what
appeared in Thursday's edition...........
In Today's Tribune
By
Amerfino B. Aquino
Well, it's
Thursday. I was considering taking the day off but I thought twice
about it and relented. Putting this page together five days a week
can take it's toll but I like doing it. I guess it keeps me
energized and satisfied when it all comes together the way I want
it. Yeah, it's a dirty job but someone has to do it. I'm always open
for suggestions too. If there's something you want added or
something that you don't like, let me know. That doesn't mean that
I'll listen to you but I'm easy. Ask anyone.
Here's today's
tidbits
Scorpio's page has been
updated. Click on the link at the left to access it.
Don't forget
to view the Piknik photos
Click here
2003 Piknik
Photo Album
Born on
October 2nd
Mahatma Gandhi
(1869)
Groucho Marx
(1890)
Bud
Abbott
(1895)
George "Spanky" McFarland (1928)
Rex
Reed
(1938)
Don
McLean
(1945)
Donna
Karan
(1948)
Sting
(1951)
The
convicted architect discovered that prison walls were not
made to scale.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
People who
live in glass houses... don't have much of a sex life.
A Test
Take a look at the picture first . What do you
see?
Now proceed and read the following explanation of
what you really saw. I'm sure you'll find this very interesting.
Research has shown
that young children cannot identify the intimate couple because they
do not have prior memory associated with such a scenario.
What they will see are the nine dolphins.
Additional note: This is a test to determine if you already have a
corrupted mind. If it's hard for you to find the dolphins within 3
seconds, your mind is indeed corrupted.
Here's a fun page
that Neen sent to me.
CLICK
<http://img.tapuz.co.il/forums/8572800.swf>
Trivia
What is the
Daily Buzzword for October 2nd?
verbatim \ver-BAY-tim\
adverb or adjective
What does it mean?
: in the same words : word for word
How do you use it?
Each student in Russell's class was assigned to memorize a
poem and then recite it verbatim to the class.
Are you a word wiz?
"Verbatim" developed from the much older Latin word
"verbum." "Verbum" is also an ancestor of other words such as
"verb" and "verbal." Based on the modern words that come from
it, try to guess what "verbum" originally meant.
A. alphabet
B. copy
C. word
D. repeat
Answer:
Take our word for it: "verbum" means "word." That Latin root
is the ancestor of many modern terms, including "verbatim,"
"verb," "verbal," "proverb," and "verbose" (that means
"wordy"). The Latin root is even related to the parent terms
that gave us the word "word." As we've pointed out, "verbatim"
can be used as an adjective, as in "He gave a verbatim
recitation of the paragraph." It can also function as an
adverb, as in "She repeated the conversation verbatim."
Geek
Today's Jigsaw
puzzle
Not So
Common People
Click here
http://www.jigzone.com/ms/z.php?ui=620820049i1011899&z=48_piece_classic
That's all for
today's edition. Tune in tomorrow for some more really
stupid, goofy, idiotic stuff. Peace.
The following is what
appeared in Wednesday's edition...........
In Today's Tribune
By
Amerfino B. Aquino
Yup folks. She's
back. Yesterday was filled with a round-the-clock mishmash of
negotiations but we finally sealed a deal. Here's the details of her
new contract.
No more mentions of
"ice cream". Two weekends a year in our corporate Motel 6 in
Laughlin. Two bingo daubers a month for the next two years. Extra
smoking breaks at the Tamale Bash. "Special" seating at all Aquino
events. And a dime bag to boot. She drove a hard bargain but we feel
she is worth it. Welcome back Taiyo!
Here's today's
tidbits
Scorpio's page has been
updated. Click on the link at the left to access it.
Don't forget
to view the Piknik photos
Click here
2003 Piknik
Photo Album
Born on
October 1st
Walter Matthau
(1920) Actor
James Whitmore
(1921) Actor
Jimmy Carter
(1924) President
Tom Bosley
(1927) Actor
George Peppard
(1928) Actor
Richard Harris
(1932) Actor,
Singer
Julie Andrews
(1935) Actress
Stella Stevens
(1936) Actress
Rod Carew
(1945) Ballplayer
Randy Quaid
(1950) Actor
Mark McGwire
(1963) Ballplayer
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a
pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went
to the parish priest and asked: 'Father, my dog is dead.
Could ya be sayin' a mass for the poor creature?'
Father Patrick replied: 'I'm afraid not, we cannot have services
for an animal in the church . But there is a new denomination down
the lane and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do
something for the creature.'
Muldoon said: 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya think $5,000 is
enough to donate for the service?'
Father Patrick exclaimed: 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why
didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?'
Microsoft Word For
Blondes
What is the
Daily Buzzword for October 1?
nocturnal \nahk-TER-nul\ adjective
What does it mean?
1 : of, relating to, or occurring in the night
2 : active at night
How do you use it?
In science class we are studying nocturnal animals like
owls, bats, and opossums.
Are you a word wiz?
"Nocturnal" has an antonym, a word that means the opposite.
See if you can find the word that means the opposite of
"nocturnal" in the list below.
A. eternal
B. ordinal
C. seasonal
D. diurnal
Answer:
The words "nocturnal" and "diurnal" are as different as
night and day. "Nocturnal" means "active at night," while
"diurnal" means "active during the day." Their opposite
meanings go all the way back to their Latin roots. "Nocturnal"
traces to the Latin word "nox," meaning "night," and "diurnal"
traces to the Latin word "dies," meaning "day." "Equinox" is
one word related to "nocturnal," while words related to
"diurnal" include "diary" and "journal."
Trivia
What?
Today's Jigsaw
puzzle
My Big Sis
And Little Bro
Click here
http://www.jigzone.com/ms/z.php?ui=620820049i1010492&z=48_piece_classic
That's all for
today's edition. Tune in tomorrow for some more really
stupid, goofy, idiotic stuff. Peace.
The following is what
appeared in Tuesday's edition...........
In Today's Tribune
By
Amerfino B. Aquino
Tony
forwarded an e-mail to me that he received from Erika and
Dylan . Here's what they had to say.
Hey all,
Sorry I haven't been updating the site as much as I'd like,
but Erika and I have been very busy. Two Fridays ago (as
most of you know) I had my four wisdom teeth removed. It
wasn't as painful as I thought and I didn't swell up very
bad, so it took very little time for me to recover. Erika
took very good care of me and made sure I was on top pf the
medication so that I healed the way I was supposed to (I
have this horrible way of thinking that I'm okay faster than
I should be). The Tuesday after the surgery we had a
football game that went into five overtimes. We lost the
game but still took first place in the league.
Two guys on my football team (an Infantryman and a Military
Intelligence NCO) asked me a few weeks back if I'd like to
join their team for an International Military Competition in
Brannenberg. Of course, I was reluctant because of the
wisdom teeth removal a week earlier, but Erika convinced me
that I would be fine and that I should do it. So I told them
yes. Saturday morning (really early) the event began, and
Sunday (evening) it ended. There were tons of events:
first-aid; land navigation; weapons assembly; Nuclear,
Biological, and Chemical warfare simulation; hand grenades;
claymore mines assembly and landmine recognition; weapons
qualification (on the M16 Rifle, M9 Pistol, MP5, Shotgun,
and 7.62 Russian Sniper Rifle); a lake crossing on a rubber
raft (timed); foreign tanks, airplanes, weapons, and
missiles recognition; basic Combat Task Tests; a 5k rucksack
march race; a rope-bridge crossing (timed), and hostage
rescue. All the events were scored on accuracy, time, and
efficiency. There were 8 countries involved (Russia; France;
Italy; the Netherlands; Germany; Switzerland; Austria, and
of course the U.S. (two teams). There were a total of about
30 teams. Most of the teams were comprised of Infantry
soldiers and foreign countries equivalents to our Special
Forces. Our team (the Loyalists) finished third overall. The
first time a U.S. team ever placed in this particular
competition. We were very happy with the results.
This Friday I go into some pretty major surgery (pretty
major because its being done to ME). The surgeon has to
separate my upper jaw from my mouth, pull it out, and splice
the palate down the middle. When he's done he puts it all
back and stitches it up. If you'd like to look it up
yourself it is usually referred to as Surgical Rapid Palatal
Expansion, or SARPE. I should be on Con Leave for about 30
days. Erika and I are hoping that I get well in a couple of
weeks so that we have an extra couple of weeks to go to
Munich and maybe some other places we'd like to go while the
weather is good.
I hope everyone is doing well. Drop a line to let us know
how you are doing.
Talk to you later.
-Erika and Dylan
Ouch! That
sounds painful. We're glad to hear you two are doing great
and we hope to hear from you soon.
Tony also
included this letter which was written to Dylan's captain
from a Dr. Franz G. Rosenhammer, DBA.
Great going
Dylan!
I urge
everybody to visit Erika and Dylan at their website at
http://www.geocities.com/dylanderika/index.html
and sign
their guestbook. I'm sure it would make them very happy to
see a little piece of home.
Here's today's
tidbits
Scorpio's page has been
updated. Click on the link at the left to access it.
Don't forget
to view the Piknik photos
Click here
2003 Piknik
Photo Album
Born on
September 30th
Johnny Mathis (1935):
singer
Fran Drescher (1957):
actress
Jenna Elfman (1971):
actress
Martina Hingis
(1980): tennis star
*Note: In order to
entice Taiyo back into the ranks of The Neen Tribune, we
have given her a new banner and dug up a couple of old jokes
of hers from her archives. We hope that she returns soon.
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to
the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near
death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God
said, "No, you have another 40 years, 2 months and 8 days to
live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and
have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had
someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so
much more time to live, she figured she might as well make
the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the
hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was
killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said
I had another 40 years?
Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the
ambulance?
God replied, " I didn't recognize you."
Create your
own hits with Microsoft's Hit Wizard software
What is
the Daily Buzzword for September 30?
clandestine \klan-DESS-tin\
adjective
What does it mean?
: done in secret
How do you use it?
"That opening of the door which I had heard after I had
returned to my room might mean that he had gone out to keep
some clandestine appointment."
Are you a word wiz?
If you think our example sounds like it is a quotation from
a book, you're right. We're not keeping it a secret, we just
want you to guess who wrote that sentence using
"clandestine."
Which author do you think wrote the quotation?
A. Robert Louis Stevenson in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
B. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in The Hound of the Baskervilles
C. Carolyn Keene in The Picture Perfect Mystery
D. Agatha Christie in And Then There Were None
Answer:
You may be a detective in the making if you figured out that
the quotation comes from the famous Sherlock Holmes story
The
Hound of the Baskervilles. A natural choice for mystery
writers, "clandestine" is often used as a synonym of
"secret"
and "covert." All three words mean "done without
attracting
observation." "Clandestine," however, is commonly used for
actions that involve secrecy that is kept for an evil,
illicit, or unauthorized purpose. Often, "clandestine"
emphasizes fear of being discovered in the act of doing
something wrong.
Google
search results for "french military victories"
Today's Jigsaw
puzzle
Erika & Dylan
Click here
http://www.jigzone.com/ms/z.php?ui=620820049i1009368&z=48_piece_classic
That's all for
today's edition. Tune in tomorrow for some more really
stupid, goofy, idiotic stuff. Peace.
The following is what
appeared in Monday's edition...........
In Today's Tribune
By
Amerfino B. Aquino
Judging from
my mailbox, it seems like a lot of you readers are very
concerned about the social security situation. I find that
gratifying to see as we should all be aware of what is in
store for us in the future. I'm referring to the article I
wrote in last Friday's column about our politicians fleecing
their behinds and having no regard towards the rest of us. I
just write the facts, plain and simple, and that's the
truth. There was one letter, however, from a reader who had
a totally different take on the matter. Here is his comment:
Dear Mr. Editor
I have just finished reading your Social Security Opinion
Soapbox and I felt compelled to write. Please do me a favor
and don't print any more articles like that. You upset my
stomach and totally ruined my day.
However, since you started, you might as well inform the
younger generation about what is going on.
THE POLITICIANS AREN'T THE
ONLY ONE'S FLEECING YOU
To those in the 20-30 years age group, YOU ARE REALLY
GETTING SCREWED!
I recall watching 60 Minutes,several years ago in which they
made a very alarming announcement. The old timers currently
on Social Security are fleecing you too! Those people who
worked 30 years and paid into social security during that
time, ARE GETTING PAID BACK WHAT THEY HAVE PUT IN WITHIN
APPROXIMATELY 3 YEARS! So
who do you think is paying for them now? Who is going to pay
for your social security?
Sincerely
John Q. Public
He brings up a
good point but where does it start and where does it end? Is
it the fault of the retirees who are now receiving benefits?
No, they've paid their dues. They worked all of their lives
and put in what the government told them they had to put
in. And what about the X generation? Are they tossing their
money into a fund that they'll probably never recollect? Is
it too late to start a new program? Is it too early to
panic? I don't know. Like I asked you all last week. Who you
gonna call?
Here's today's
tidbits
Born on
September 29th
1907 Gene Autrey
(cowboy actor)
1931 Anita Ekberg
(actress)
1935 Jerry Lee Lewis
(singer)
1942 Madeline Kahn
(actress)
1943 Lech Walesa
(Polish labor leader, later President)
1948 Bryant Gumbel
(journalist)
*Note: In order to
entice Taiyo back into the ranks of The Neen Tribune, we
have given her a new banner and dug up a couple of old jokes
of hers from her archives. We hope that she returns soon.
Patient: Doctor, Doctor, my leg
hurts what should I do?
Doctor: Limp.
----------------------------------------------------------------
A
doctor told a blonde patient that she had two weeks to live.
"Oh," said the blonde, "Can I have the last week in July and
the first week in August?"
Doh!
Wrong Color
Suit
An old lady was very upset as her husband Albert had just
passed away. She went to the undertakers to have one last
look at her dearly departed husband. The instant she saw him
she started crying. The mortician walked over to comfort
her. Through her tears she explained that she was upset
because her dearest Albert was wearing a black suit, and it
was his fervent wish to be buried in a blue suit.
The mortician apologized and explained that traditionally
they always put bodies in a black suit, but he'd see what he
could arrange.
The next day she returned to the funeral parlor to have one
last moment with Albert before the funeral the following
day.
When the mortician pulled back the curtain, she managed a
smile through her tears as Albert was resplendent in a smart
blue suit. She said to the mortician, "Wonderful, wonderful,
but where did you get that beautiful suit?"
"Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about your
husband's size was brought in and he was wearing a blue
suit," the mortician replied. "His wife was quite upset
because she wanted him buried in the traditional black
suit."
Albert's wife smiled at the undertaker.
"After that," he continued, "it was just a matter of
swapping the heads."
Only in
California..........
What is the
Daily Buzzword for September 29?
kowtow \KOW-tow ("ow" as in "cow")\
verb
What does it mean?
: to show overly respectful attention
How do you use it?
"Max is a bully who expects everyone to kowtow to him,"
said Daryl, "but I'm not going wait on him or anyone else!"
Are you a word wiz?
English borrowed "kowtow" from another language. Which of
these languages do you think "kowtow" comes from?
A. Chinese
B. Latin
C. French
D. Algonquian
Answer:
You've earned our respect if you picked answer A. In
ancient
China, one way to show respect for a superior was to kneel
on
the ground and bump one's head gently on the floor. People
who
came to make requests of government officials would perform
this ritual act as a sign of respect. English speakers
adapted
"kowtow" in the early 1800s from a Chinese term for the
kneeling ceremony. That Chinese word came from two Chinese
words meaning "to knock" and "head."
Today's Jigsaw
puzzle
Girl from San
Dimas
Click here
http://www.jigzone.com/ms/z.php?ui=620820049i1007974&z=48_piece_classic
That's all for
today's edition. Tune in tomorrow for some more really
stupid, goofy, idiotic stuff. Peace.
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