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                                          Dedicated To The Memory Of Esperanza Aquino



                                           Friday September 24th, 2004

In Today's Edition

Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age.

- Christopher Morley

Born On September 24th

Phil Hartman (1948)

Linda McCartney (1941)

Jim Henson (1936)

Anthony Newley (1931)

Sheila MacRae (1924)

Jim McKay (1921)

F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896)

Lerma Aquino

Maria and her 39 Children

Maria is a devout Catholic: She gets married and has 17 children. Soon after the last child is born her husband dies.

A few weeks later she remarries and over the following years has another 22 children with her second husband.

After the last child is born her second husband also dies.

Within a month Maria is engaged to be married a third time. Unfortunately she becomes very ill and dies.

At her wake, the priest looks tenderly at Maria as she lies in her coffin, looks up to the heavens and says,

"At least, they're finally together."

A man standing next to the priest asks, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean Maria and her first husband, or Maria and her second husband?"

The priest says, "I mean her legs."

Today's useless fact - What is the correct order for using the utensils at a formal dinner?

To answer your question, we headed straight to our Etiquette category. The links in the category all confirmed what our very proper mothers taught us: when at a formal dinner, start with the silverware farthest from your plate and work your way in.

For example, if the place setting in front of you has two forks to the left of your plate and two knives to the right, you use the outermost fork and knife to eat the appetizer or salad. Then you use the innermost fork and knife for the main course.

At a formal dinner, forks will always be placed to the left of the plate and knives will be on the right. Two exceptions are soup spoons and oyster or shellfish forks. The soup spoon will be on the right, to the outside of the knives, and an oyster or shellfish fork will be to the right of the soup spoon (or to the right of the knives, if no soup spoon is needed). Traditionally, an oyster or shellfish appetizer is served first, then soup, followed by salad, and then the main course, so all the silverware is arranged in this order.

If dessert will be served, a dessert fork and/or dessert spoon may be placed near the top of your plate, parallel to the table edge. Sometimes dessert utensils are only brought to the table with the dessert itself.

Follow this simple rule and you can't go wrong, unless the table is not properly set, of course!

What's The Buzzword For September 24th?

bleak \BLEAK\ adjective What does it mean? 1 : open to wind or weather 2 : cold, raw 3 : dreary, cheerless 4 : very plain How do you use it? "In the morning, when I was fighting my way to school against the wind, I couldn't see anything but the road in front of me; but in the late afternoon, when I was coming home, the town looked bleak and desolate to me." (Willa Cather, _My Antonia_) Are you a word wiz? In the example sentence, author Willa Cather uses two synonyms: "bleak" and "desolate." Can you find a third synonym in the list below? A. cloudy B. dismaying C. dismal D. brittle Answer: Cheer up if you chose C! "Bleak," "desolate," and "dismal" can all be used to describe something that lacks cheer or comfort. "Bleak" suggests chill, dull, and barren characteristics that utterly dishearten, as in "the bleak years of the Depression." Desolate adds an element of utter remoteness or lack of human contact to any already disheartening aspect, as in "a desolate outpost." "Dismal" indicates extreme and utterly depressing gloominess, as in "dismal weather."

Today's Jigsaw Puzzle

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                    That's All For Now. Have A Great Weekend.



            The following is what appeared in Thursday's edition.

In Today's Edition



Born On September 23rd

Jason Alexander (1959)

Bruce Springsteen (1949)

Mary Kay Place (1947)

Paul Petersen (1945)

Julio Iglesias (1943)

Ray Charles (1930)

John Coltrane (1926)

Mickey Rooney (1920)

John F. Aquino

Father Son day at work

After hearing his father talk about his job, a young son looked forward to spending the day with him at the office. Although usually shy, he seemed eager to meet each co-worker as he introduced him to them.

On the way home, however, he appeared sullen. The father couldn't see the reason for his son's disappointment until he complained,

"I never got to see the clowns you said you worked with."



Today's useless fact - Who named the planets?

As we learned from the links in our Astronomy Category, the story behind the names of the planets was written long ago by early stargazers - the first astronomers to focus attention on the sun, the moon, and the visible planets Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn. They believed that each of these celestial bodies influenced a particular day of the week. Diverse cultures ascribed the names of their gods to individual planets (with the notable exception of Earth). The Romans matched planetary attributes with particular deities and named the known planets accordingly. Tiny Mercury was named after the fleet-footed messenger to the gods, probably because it moves so quickly across the sky; Venus, the brightest planet visible to the unaided eye, was named for the goddess of love and beauty. Jupiter, more than twice as massive as all the other planets combined, earned the name of the superior god.

These Roman names were adapted by early European astronomers and have persisted, long after the ancient geocentric model of our solar system was proven wrong.

Uranus was the first planet discovered in modern times. In 1781, British astronomer William Herschel named it "the Georgium Sidus" (The Georgian Planet) after the notorious King George III. However, the German astronomer Johann Bode proposed "Uranus" to conform with the existing planetary names. These days, the hard- working scientists who find the planets get to choose their names.

Although English is recognized as the international language of professional astronomy and planetary nomenclature, different languages have their own planetary names that are commonly used in everyday conversation.

What's The Buzzword For September 23rd?

umbrella \um-BREL-uh\ noun What does it mean? 1 : a collapsible covering for protection against weather consisting of fabric stretched over a hinged frame coming out from a center pole; especially : a small one for carrying in the hand 2 : something resembling an umbrella in shape or purpose How do you use it? "I set the umbrella slowly and carefully on end against the wall, but as soon as I took my hand away, its heel slipped from under it, and down it came again with another bang." (Mark Twain, _A Tramp Abroad_) Are you a word wiz? Contrary to what you might expect, English speakers borrowed "umbrella" from a language spoken in a sunny country. Which language do you think "umbrella" comes from? A. Nahuatl, the language of the ancient Aztecs B. Spanish, the language of Spain and many Latin American countries C. Bantu, a language spoken in central and southern Africa D. Italian, the language spoken primarily in Italy Answer: If you chose D, magnifico! English took "umbrella" from the Italian word "ombrella." "Ombrella" comes from the Latin word "umbella," the diminutive form of Latin "umbra," meaning "shade." In its earliest use, "umbrella" referred to a portable covering used to shade people from the sun. Soon people also began using "umbrella" to refer to a similar covering used for protection from rain. We still use "umbrella" for both kinds of covering, though smaller umbrellas are used for rain and larger umbrellas provide shade at the beach or over tables outdoors. A handheld umbrella for sun protection is usually called a "parasol."

Today's Jigsaw Puzzle

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               That's All For Today. Tune In Tomorrow For More Stuff.



            The following is what appeared in Wednesday's edition.

In Today's Edition

Silence
Soren Kierkegaard

Silence is the measure of the power to act; that is, a person never has more power to act than he has silence. Anyone can understand that to do something is far greater than to talk about doing it. If, therefore, a person has a plan or idea and is fully resolved to carry it out, he does not need to talk about it. What he talks about in connection with the proposed action is what he is most unsure of and most unwilling to do.

Born On September 22nd

Scott Baio (1961)

Eric Stoltz (1961)

Joan Jett (1960)

Andrea Bocelli (1958)

Nick Cave (1957)

Debby Boone (1956)

Shari Belafonte-Harper (1954)

Tommy Lasorda (1927)

Military Computer

The US has succeeded in building a computer able to solve any strategic or tactical problem. Military leaders are assembled in front of the new machine and instructed to feed a difficult tactical problem into it. They describe a hypothetical situation to the computer and then ask the pivotal question: ATTACK OR RETREAT?

The computer hums away for an hour and then comes up with the answer: YES.

The generals look at each other, somewhat stupefied. Finally one of them submits a second request to the computer: YES WHAT?

Instantly the computer responded: YES SIR

Today's useless fact - Why do dogs wag their tails when they're happy?

After a quick tour of the links from our Dog Training category we discovered there are several reasons why a dog wags its tail, and not all of them have to do with being a happy-go-lucky puppy. Since the ancestors of today's domesticated dogs ran in packs, communication -- whether by barking, growling, or wagging tails -- was essential.

A dog with a loosely wagging tail is usually a dog that is friendly or excited. However, a wagging tail is not always a sign of an amiable pooch. An aggressive dog might hold its tail high and wag only the tip, while a submissive or scared dog is more likely to hold its tail low and wag it stiffly.

Some experts believe that a wagging tail is a sign of conflict. When an animal is in conflict, it wants to retreat and advance at the same time. The wagging tail is an indication of this confusion.

When you see a dog wagging its tail, odds are that the dog is in good spirits, probably running after a ball or begging for a treat. However, you should be aware that a wagging tail isn't a definitive sign of a friendly dog; proceed with caution if you think the dog is aggressive.

What's The Buzzword For September 22nd?

mercy \MER-see\ noun What does it mean? 1 a : kind and gentle treatment of someone (as a wrongdoer or opponent) having no right to it b : a disposition to show mercy 2 a : a blessing as an act of divine love b : a fortunate happening 3 : kindness shown to victims of misfortune How do you use it? The teacher showed mercy to the class and postponed the test, even though she knew that they should have studied for it when they had the chance. Are you a word wiz? "Mercy" traces back to the Latin word "merces." What do you think "merces" means? A. a price paid for something B. a victory in battle C. a sign of friendship D. a legal document Answer: The kindest answer of all is A. To the ancient Romans, the Latin word "merces" meant "price paid for something," or it could mean "wages" or "reward." Early Christians writing in Latin, however, used "merces" to mean the spiritual reward one receives for acting kindly to a person who doesn't necessarily deserve such kindness. The word came into early French as "mercit" or "merci" with much the same meaning as was later passed on to our Modern English word "mercy." But while "mercy" in English now has the meaning "kindness or pity shown to someone," the word "merci" in French has lost much of that meaning and is chiefly used today to mean "thank you."

Today's Jigsaw Puzzle

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               That's All For Today. Tune In Tomorrow For More Stuff.



            The following is what appeared in Tuesday's edition.

In Today's Edition

                      Here's the latest info from Neen about the Piknik

PIKNIK NEWS UPDATE

SATURDAY OCTOBER 2, 2004

SAN DIMAS CANYON PARK

1628 SYCAMORE CANYON ROAD

SAN DIMAS, CA 91773

PICNIC AREA 2

11:00 AM UNTIL ??????

Each family/group/couple, etc. shall be responsible for its own main dish, supplies, drinks, etc.

Each family/group/couple, etc. shall bring a side dish, fruit, dessert for all to share

Due to time & financial constraints, we will be raffling Tribune memorabilia, donations, etc. to offset initial costs of hasty planning.

Ana will be in charge of the raffle tickets. Please give her your support.

Larry & Roni will again be in charge of games and bakeoff. I know some of you think that they cheat, but no one else volunteered, so we are stuck with them!

Renee and Danielle will be in charge of the piñata and its contents

                                     Here are the directions to the Piknik site



Take the 210 until you come to the Slauson cutoff, then cut off your Slauson................

                Aw, you know the story.

Please help make this the best Piknik ever.

Born On September 21st

Joseph Mazzello (1983)

Liam Gallagher (1972)

David Silveria (1972)

Ricki Lake (1968)

Faith Hill (1967)

Darva Conger (1965)

Rob Morrow (1962)

David James Elliot (1960)

Dave Coulier (1959)

Bill Murray (1950)

Stephen King (1947)

Henry Gibson (1935)

Leonard Cohen (1934)

Larry Hagman (1931)

H.G. Wells (1866)

The String

A string walks into a bar and the bartender says " We don't serve your kind around here, so you'll just have to leave." So the string walks out of the bar and sees two young ladies walking down the street and asked one to tie him in a knot and the other to kinda fluff him out a little with her comb. After thanking the ladies the string goes back in, sits down at the bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says " Aren't you the same string I just told to leave?" And he replied "No, I'm a frayed knot."

Desert Competition



Today's useless fact - How much is the president of the United States paid?

We knew the presidential salary had been $200,000 for a number of years -- a relatively paltry sum considering the state of executive compensation these days -- but we were unsure of the salary our current president is drawing. We seem to recall hearing something a couple of years ago about a raise for our country's commander in chief.

We went to our US Presidents category, checked several links, and here's what we learned:

According to a CNN article dated July 16, 1999, the House voted earlier that week to increase the next president's salary to $400,000, which means George W. Bush, our 43rd president, makes twice as much as his predecessor, President Clinton.

After a little more research, we found a table that should put to rest any doubts that our country's former presidents are struggling to make ends meet. The National Taxpayers Union provides a Presidential Pension Graph that shows estimated pension benefits of former presidents. Bill Clinton stands to collect $7.29 million, the most of any living ex-president, while Ronald Reagan's pension was just over $2.5 million.

What's The Buzzword For September 21st?

arrears \uh-REARZ\ noun What does it mean? 1 : the state of being behind in the paying of debts 2 : unpaid or overdue debts How do you use it? After a couple months of being in arrears with the rent, the roommates finally got caught up and started paying rent on time again.    Are you a word wiz? Don't get behind on guessing this one; answer right away! Which of the following words do you think shares a common ancestor with "arrears"? A. bereaved B. retroactive C. increasing D. accredited Answer: We won't hold back the answer! It's B, "retroactive." Both "arrears" and "retroactive" have as a Latin ancestor the word "retro," meaning "back." "Arrears" traces back through French to the Latin phrase "ad retro," meaning "backward." "Retroactive," which means "intended to apply or take effect at a date in the past," also traces back through French to its Latin ancestor. It derives from the Latin word "retroagere," meaning "to drive back, reverse," a combination of "retro" and "agere," meaning "to drive."

Today's Jigsaw Puzzle

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               That's All For Today. Tune In Tomorrow For More Stuff.