Dedicated To The Memory Of Esperanza Aquino
Thursday October 14th, 2004
In Today's Edition
The following was posted here a couple of months back but I thought it was worthy of another look.
George W. Bush
The White House, USA
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
LAW ENFORCEMENT:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.
MILITARY:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
COLLEGE:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.
In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs.
I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President. I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron. My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision. I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution.
More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.
I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts. I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.
I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.
I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.
I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention. I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
I set the record for least number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history. I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.
I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war time.
In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends. I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view. All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.
Born On October 14th
Usher (1979)
Harry Anderson (1952)
Ralph Lauren (1939)
Roger Moore (1927)
John Wooden (1910)
Lillian Gish (1896)
e.e. cummings (1894)
Dwight Eisenhower (1890)
William Penn (1644)
October 16th
Bryon Williams
Some of Rodney Dangerfield's classic one-liners
"I tell ya I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetery plot. The guy said, 'There goes the neighborhood!'"
"When I was born, I was so ugly that the doctor slapped my mother."
"When I started in show business, I played one club that was so far out, my act was reviewed in Field and Stream."
"Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: 'Basement?'"
"When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me... and no one showed up."
"I never got girls when I was a kid. One girl told me, 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. There was nobody home."
"When I was 3 years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me."
"When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's."
"With my wife, I don't get no respect. The other night there was a knock on the front door. My wife told me to hide in the closet."
"With my wife, I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it."
Today's useless fact - Why was the bald eagle chosen as the United States' national bird?
Here's what we learned from our Bald Eagle category:
The eagle was originally a minor symbolic element in the first designs of the great seal, and that it was Charles Thomson who decided to use the American bald eagle -- the only eagle unique to North America -- as the centerpiece of the Great Seal. Furthermore, in Thomson's original 1782 sketch, the eagle carries symbols representing "the power of peace and war."
Another link in the directory stated that that the American bald eagle "gained immediate, unofficial recognition" as our national bird on June 20, 1782. However, official designation did not come for a few more years, as the symbol of America was fodder for fierce debate among the young country's political leaders. Benjamin Franklin disapproved, stating that it was of "bad moral character" and proposed the turkey as the country's national bird.
The bald eagle was finally adopted as the emblem of the United States in 1787 because "its long life, great strength, and majestic looks, and also because it was then believed to exist only on this continent."
A few eagles have even become American heroes. Old Abe, the mascot of a Wisconsin regiment during the Civil War, traveled 14,000 miles with the troops. He was a constant target of enemy riflemen, but survived 42 battle engagements. A turkey wouldn't have lasted 10 minutes, Mr. Franklin.
What's The Buzzword For October 14th?
adulation \aj-uh-LAY-shun\ noun
What does it mean?
: excessive or slavish admiration or flattery
How do you use it?
The pop star was somewhat embarrassed by the adulation of
her teenage fans.
Are you a word wiz?
The word "adulation" was inspired by the behavior of a
certain animal. What animal do you think figures in the
history of "adulation"?
A. the horse, because of its beauty
B. the cat, because of its independent personality
C. the dog, because of its affectionate nature
D. the dolphin, because of its intelligence
Answer:
If "adulation" makes you think of a dog panting after its
master, you're on the right track. "Adulation" ultimately
derives from the Latin verb "adulari," meaning both "to
flatter" and, more significantly, "to fawn on," in a sense
used specifically for the affectionate behavior of dogs. A
form of "adulari" evolved in French as "adulacion." By the
14th century, English speakers were using "adulacion," and
they eventually formed "adulation." The verb "adulate," the
noun "adulator," and the adjective "adulatory" later joined
the language.
Today's Jigsaw Puzzle
Click Here
Ladies at Piknik
That's All For Now. Have A Good Weekend.
The following is what appeared in Wednesday's edition.
In Today's Edition
The common cold blows away $40 billion a year, says a University of Michigan study.
Born On October 13th
Nancy Kerrigan (1969)
Jerry Rice (1962)
Marie Osmond (1959)
Chris Carter (1957)
Sammy Hagar (1947)
Paul Simon (1941)
Nana Mouskouri (1934)
Lenny Bruce (1925)
Margaret Thatcher (1925)
Nipsey Russell (1924)
Yves Montand (1921)
Cornel Wilde (1915)
Michael Villalba
Poison
A woman was on the witness stand, accused of poisoning her husband.
"After you put poison in the coffee, you sat at the breakfast table and watched your husband drink it. Tell me, didn't you feel the slightest bit of pity for him?" the defense attorney prompted.
"Yes," she replied, "I think there was one moment when I felt sorry for him."
"And when was that?"
"When he asked for his second cup."
Today's useless fact - How do they create the yellow line on the football field that marks the first down on TV?
As we learned from LUKOL NFL Directory, a company called Sportvision is responsible for "the yellow line". According to SportVistion, "There are eight computers... three sets of special encoders and abundant wiring dedicated to generating the virtual first down line in video format." The virtual line is drawn on video based on the position first down marker, ridiculously exact details of of the live camera's position (including altitude and lens angle), a digital 3D model of the field, and two palettes of colors for the field and the players. The player's colors automatically override the virtual line's colors, so it appears as though they're stepping over it.
The company recently won an Emmy for the floating yellow line, and unlike the lite-brite hockey puck fiasco a few years ago, the "first and ten" technology is very popular -- a recent poll quoted on Sportvision's site found that "over 92% of fans want the patented technology in every football game they watch, and more than 25% said that they are more inclined to watch a game that features the system."
Sportvision has all sorts of cool new tricks up their sleeve: technology that measures the speed of a swinging baseball bat, the vertical leap of a basketball player, the height and speed of a ski jumper, and the swerving path of a NASCAR driver.
What's The Buzzword For October 13th?
bazaar \buh-ZAHR\ noun
What does it mean?
1 : a marketplace (as in the Middle East) containing rows
of small shops
2 : a place where many kinds of goods are sold
3 : a fair for the sale of articles especially to raise
money for charity
How do you use it?
Last weekend, Deirdre searched her closet for clothes she
no longer wore so she could donate to the town's annual
charity bazaar.
Are you a word wiz?
Which one of these languages do you buy as the origin of
"bazaar"?
A. Russian
B. Persian
C. Afrikaans
D. Japanese
Answer:
We hope you were sold on B. "Bazaar" was borrowed into
English from Persian in the 1600s. At around the same time,
"kiosk" was also introduced. "Kiosk," which refers to small
structure with one or more open sides that's used especially
for selling merchandise or services, traces through Turkish
back to Persian. You might visit a kiosk if you wanted to
buy a shawl. "Shawl" also comes from Persian and first
appeared in English in the 1600s. You might also be in the
market for a caftan. The word "caftan," which names an
ankle-length garment with long sleeves, came from Persian
by way of Russian and Turkish in the late 1500s.
Today's Jigsaw Puzzle
That's All For Now. Have A Good One.
The following is what appeared in Tuesday's edition.
In Today's Edition
"The Senate decided they will be smoke-free. They ordained that all public areas in the Senate are now smoke-free. How- ever, the senators themselves will still be allowed to blow smoke up each other's asses." ---Bill Maher
Born On October 12th
Marion Jones (1975)
Kirk Cameron (1970)
Susan Anton (1950)
Chris Wallace (1947)
Luciano Pavarotti (1935)
Dick Gregory (1932)
Lola Villalba
Big Red F
Little Johnny walked up to his teacher's desk, holding a report card with a big red F.
"If I were you," said little Johnny, "I would change this while you still can."
"Why is that?" asked the teacher.
"Because my daddy told me that if I brought home one more failing report card, someone was going to get a beating."
Today's useless fact - What is dyslexia and how is it treated?
LUKOL Dyslexia Directory provides links to the sites which deal with all sorts of dyslexia issues. There we learned that dyslexia is "a reading disability resulting from a defect in the ability to process graphic symbols" and describes it as synonymous with "developmental reading disorder" or DRD.
Checking more links in the directory, we found a list of symptoms. The list includes difficulty in recognizing written words, in rhyming, and in determining the meaning of simple sentences. Apparently, dyslexia, a Greek word that literally means "trouble with words," may also be accompanied by problems learning to write and perform arithmetic, and often runs in families. Remedial instruction is recommended as the best treatment for this disorder.
On a site called Teens Helping Teens, created by and for teens with learning disabilities, we found an intelligent, compassionate description of dyslexia:
...a neurologically-based, often familial, disorder which interferes with the acquisition and processing of language... Dyslexia is not a result of lack of motivation, sensory impairment, inadequate instructional or environmental opportunities, or other limiting conditions... Although dyslexia is life-long, individuals with dyslexia frequently respond successfully to timely and appropriate intervention. There are many methods, theories, and teaching systems for helping people with dyslexia learn to process language more effectively.
What's The Buzzword For October 12th?
postprandial \pohst-PRAN-dee-ul\ adjective
What does it mean?
: occurring after a meal
How do you use it?
"To aid in digestion," Grandfather said, "there is nothing
so helpful as a postprandial walk."
Are you a word wiz?
"Postprandial" comes to English from Latin. The prefix
"post-" means in this case (as it does in many others)
"after, later." The "prandial" part of "postprandial" comes
from the Latin word "prandium." What do you think "prandium"
means?
A. a full stomach
B. an empty plate
C. a brief nap
D. a late breakfast, luncheon
Answer:
We hope answer D suits your taste! "Prandium" means "late
breakfast, luncheon," so if "postprandial" were true to its
Latin ancestors, it would mean "after late breakfast or
luncheon." When the word came into English in the early 1800s,
however, it was used to describe something occurring after any
meal. A big word for something pretty simple, "postprandial"
is rather ostentatious sounding. Those who use it often do so
in a humorous way, just as your family might find it funny if
you excused yourself from the dinner table announcing, "I am
going to do some postprandial TV watching."
Today's Jigsaw Puzzle
That's All For Now. Have A Good One.
The following is what appeared in Monday's edition.
In Today's Edition
There were only two people who got all the answers right for the calendar contest.
I drew their names from a barrel and Danielle Aquino won. Congratulations Danielle. Please get a hold of me and we'll make arrangements to get your calendar to you as soon as possible.
Thanks to all of you who entered the contest.
Born On October 11th
Michelle Trachtenberg (1985)
Luke Perry (1966)
Joan Cusack (1962)
Steve Young (1961)
Elmore Leonard (1925)
Jerome Robbins (1918)
Eleanor Roosevelt (1884)
Henry John Heinz (1844)
Swimming Competition
A blonde woman competed with a brunette woman and a redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition.
The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted.
After being revived with blankets and coffee she remarked, "I don't want to call anybody a cheater, but I think I saw those other two girls use their arms".
Today's useless fact - How can I exchange a damaged U.S. dollar bill? Does it have the same value?
Our money hunt led us to the LUKOL Paper Money category. Here's what several links from the directory said:
If you have more than one half of the original bill, the Treasury will usually reimburse you for the full face value of the bill. Within the Treasury, the Bureau of Engraving and Printing's Office of Currency Standards (OCS) handles all requests to replace damaged currency, so we headed to the OCS for more detail.
The OCS page provides a mailing address and complete shipping instructions for turning in your damaged currency. If more than half of that dollar is identifiable, they'll give you back a new dollar. If less than half of the bill can be identified, a new greenback will be headed your way if you can explain how the currency was damaged, and also prove to the Treasury that the rest of the bill was totally destroyed. Each case of damaged currency is handled individually, and experts carefully examine each bill submitted.
The OCS only handles mutilated currency, such as that damaged by fire, water, chemicals, or animals. If your dollar is merely dirty, defaced, worn, or ripped, and more than half of the dollar is clearly visible, you can go to any U.S. bank to exchange it for a fresh dollar. Banks can turn over such currency to a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired or destroyed.
So, next time you and your buddies spend a Sunday afternoon burning c-notes, don't worry -- just make sure you snatch the burning bills from the fire before they're half gone
Can you guess which bird is the female?
What's The Buzzword For October 11th?
rifle \RYE-ful\ verb
What does it mean?
1 : to search through fast and roughly especially in order
to steal
2 : steal
How do you use it?
Police burst into the apartment in time to catch the crook
rifling through the desk drawers.
Are you a word wiz?
Scholars think the verb "rifle" is probably related to the
noun "rifle," and there is an action that is at the heart of
how they are related. What action do you think is involved in
the histories of the noun and verb "rifle"?
A. scraping or scraping off
B. battering down
C. running fast
D. exploding
Answer:
Answer A is right on target. The verb "rifle" comes from the
Anglo-French word "rifler." (Anglo-French is the French that
was spoken in medieval England.) Anglo-French "rifler" meant
"to scrape off," or "to plunder." It later became the English
verb "rifle," meaning "to ransack." But French speakers took
"rifler" (which in Middle French also meant "to scrape,
plunder") and gave it the meaning "to scratch or file." Early
rifle makers noticed that the shot flew straighter if grooves
were scratched into the inside of the barrel. English then
again modified French "rifler" into "rifle," this time meaning
"to cut grooves in a rifle barrel," and later applied "rifle"
to the firearm itself.
Today's Jigsaw Puzzle
That's All For Now. Have A Good One.
