Sunday, November
16th, 2003
Special Sunday Edition
Ted Carrier has requested a
special edition to pay tribute to some very important people in his
life in honor of his birthday.
Please click on the link below:
My Three Wise Men
In Today's Tribune
It's Friday and I
feel fine. Nothing on the agenda this weekend. No plans or
commitments to keep. Life is great. I'm just gonna kick back this
weekend and let the whole world pass me by. Just me and my Honey
and, of course, my photoshop.
Here's today's
tidbits
Born on
November 14th
Robert Fulton
(1765)
Claude Monet
(1840)
Jawaharlal Nehru
(1889)
Dick Powell
(1904)
Senator Joseph McCarthy
(1909)
Rosemary DeCamp
(1910)
Veronica Lake
(1919)
Brian Keith
(1921)
McLean Stevenson
(1929)
King Hussein of Jordan
(1935)
Prince Charles
(1948)
Travis Barker
(1975)
Elizabeth Turner (?)
Special Birthdays
For November 16th
Robin Aquino
Ted Carrier
Website
Did you hear about the web site
with eye exercises to
help alleviate eye strain when
you've been working on-
line too long?
It's a site for sore eyes.
Here's a Beautiful
Family Portrait
"Like Father, Like
Son"
Click here
Like
Father, Like Son
Bad Timing
Rednecks in West Virginia
A guy from West Virginia passed away and left his entire estate to
his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do you know when you're staying in a West Virginia hotel?
When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and
the clerk replies, "go ahead."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How can you tell if a West Virginia redneck is married?
There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in West
Virginia to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
Growing Old
What
is the Daily Buzzword for November 13th?
insipid \in-SIH-pid\
adjective
What does it mean?
1 : lacking taste or flavor : tasteless
2 : not interesting or exciting : dull, flat
How do you use it?
The movie was witless and stupid, filled with insipid humor
that left the audience yawning.
Are you a word wiz?
"Insipid" ultimately traces to the Latin verb, "sapere."
"Sapere" means "to taste," but it also means something else.
What else do you think "sapere" means?
A. to be tired
B. to be smelly
C. to be stupid
D. to be wise
Answer:
You made a wise decision if you picked D. "Sapere"
also means "to have good taste" and "to be wise." From
the combination of a form of "sapere" and the Latin prefix
"in-," meaning "not," arose "insipidus," the Latin word for
"tasteless." It is uncertain whether "insipid" made its way
into English through French or directly from Latin, but it
quickly developed an extended meaning. Since dishes that are
flavorless are also dull and boring, "insipid" gained its
other sense of "uninteresting."
Today's Jigsaw
puzzle
Click here
Birthday
Girl
That's all for
this week. We hope you all have a great weekend.
Happy Birthday Liz, Ted and Robin.
The following
is what appeared in Thursday's Edition...........
In Today's Tribune
Here is an excerpt
of an article I read on GovExec.com, a daily news website for
federal managers and executives.
Biggest
Reconstruction Contractors are GOP Donors
A small number of U.S. companies and individuals who are
major contributors to the Republican party have earned
about $8 billion in post-war reconstruction contracts in
Afghanistan and Iraq, according to a study released
Thursday.
The companies have given more money to the presidential
campaign of George W. Bush than any politician in the past
twelve years, the study found.
The Center for Public Integrity, a nonpartisan watchdog group
in Washington, reported that engineering company Kellogg,
Brown Root was the top recipient of federal contracts in
Afghanistan and Iraq in the past two years, with more than
$2.3 billion in awards. KBR is a division of oil services firm
Halliburton, helmed by Vice President Dick Cheney before he
joined the Bush campaign in 2000.
And on and on it
goes. Who says war isn't good business?
If you want to read
the full story, you can find it at:
http://www.govexec.com/dailyfed/1003/103003h2.htm
Here's today's
tidbits
Born on
November 13th
Robert Louis Stevenson
(1850)
Louis Brandeis
(1856)
Nathaniel Benchley
(1915)
Oskar Werner
(1922)
Jean Seberg
(1938)
Whoopi Goldberg
(1949)
60
Year-Old
A 60-year-old man went to a doctor for
a check-up. The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's
nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever; you have the
body of a 35-year-old. By the way, how old was your father when he
died?"
The 60-year-old responded, "Did I say
he was dead?"
The doctor was surprised and asked,
"How old is he and is he very active?"
The 60-year-old responded, "Well, he is
82 years old and he still goes skiing three times a season and
surfing three times a week during the summer."
The doctor couldn't believe it! So he
said, "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"
The 60-year-old responded again, "Did I
say he was dead?"
The doctor was astonished. He said,
"You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and
your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"
The 60-year-old said, "He goes skiing
at least once a season and surfing once a week during the summer.
Not only that," said the patient, "my grandfather is 106 years old,
and next week he is getting married again."
The doctor said, "At 106 years why on
earth would your grandfather want to get married?"
His patient looked up at the doctor and
said, "Did I say he wanted to?"
Nell, This One's
For You
Today's Useless Fact
Why is it that an animal's eyes seem
to glow when struck by light, while a human's don't?
Our eyes *do* reflect light, as all
flash photographers know - they just don't do it very well. The
distinctive "eyeshine" given off by wolves and raccoons and
crocodiles, among many other species, comes from the "tapetum
lucidum", a mirrorlike layer of cells in or behind the retina. This
structure is found mostly in nocturnal animals, for whom it serves
as a kind of light amplifier. The retina captures some of the light
that enters the eye, but some passes through. The tapetum lucidum
bounces it back at the retina, giving the animal a second chance to
"see" it. It's this ricocheting light that gives off the vaguely
eerie glow we've come to associate with macabre children's tales -
all those sinister pairs of eyes staring out from gloomy thickets.
So why don't humans have this advantageous after-hours adaptation?
Probably because we evolved as diurnal creatures in the sunny, hot
climes of the African savanna, where too much light, rather than too
little, was our special obstacle to overcome. Anyway, because the
tapetum lucidum lies behind the retina, the light it reflects is
slightly out of focus. Maybe you'd be willing to sacrifice a little
visual clarity in exchange for better night vision; our species
apparently wasn't.
What
is the Daily Buzzword for November 13th?
wheedle \WEE-dul\
verb
What does it mean?
1 : to get (someone) to think or act a certain way by
flattering or coaxing
2 : to gain or get by coaxing or flattering
How do you use it?
"He has a tongue that could wheedle a bird out of a tree."
(Harriet Beecher Stowe, _Oldtown Folks_)
Are you a word wiz?
We've given you the answer to this one (if you check the
dictionary, that is). Which of the following words is a
synonym of "wheedle"?
A. whittle
B. cajole
C. criticize
D. waffle
Answer:
Don't let anyone coax you into believing that B is the wrong
answer, because "cajole" is definitely a synonym of "wheedle."
"Whittle" and "waffle" look like "wheedle," but they have very
different meanings. "Whittle" means "to remove gradually as if
by cutting off bits with a knife." "Waffle" can name a tasty
breakfast cake or can be a verb meaning "to waver in mind or
feeling." And if you criticize someone, it's unlikely to
flatter them -- or get them to do something for you! Only
"cajole" means "to persuade with deliberate flattery" and
can be used as a synonym for "wheedle."
Today's Jigsaw
puzzle
Group
Shot
Click here
Group
Shot
That's all for
today. Tune in tomorrow for some more stuff.
The following
is what appeared in Wednesday's Edition...........
In Today's Tribune
Rules Kids Won't Learn at
School
Unfortunately there are some things that children should be learning
in school, but don't. Not all of them have to do with academics. As
a modest-back-to-school offering, here are some basic rules that may
not have found their way into the standard curriculum.
Rule #1.
Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teen-ager uses the
phrase "it's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your
parents, who said it so often, you decided they must be the most
idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their
own kids, they realized Rule #1.
Rule #2.
The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as your
school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you
feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when
inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not
fair. (See Rule No. 1)
Rule #3.
Sorry, you won't make $40,000 a year right out of high school. And
you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may
even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label.
Rule #4.
If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'till you get a boss. He
doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw
up, he is not going to ask you how you feel about it.
Rule #5.
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had
a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity.
They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have
been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all
weekend.
Rule #6.
It's not your parents fault. If you screw
up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life,"
and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of
your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine
about it or you'll sound like a baby boomer.
Rule #7.
Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now.
They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and
listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way,
before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of
your parents' generation try delousing the closet in your bedroom.
Rule #8.
Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off.
Nor even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For
eight hours. And you don't get a new lease on life every 10 weeks.
It just goes on and on.
Rule #9.
Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom, nor a soap
opera. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus
time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave
the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be perky or as
polite as Jennifer Aniston.
Rule #10.
Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.
Rule #11.
Enjoy this while you can. Sure, parents are a pain, school's a
bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how
wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now.
Here's today's
tidbits
Born on
November 12th
Grace Kelly
(1929)
Al Michaels
(1944)
Neil Young
(1945)
Nadia Comaneci
(1961)
David Schwimmer
(1966)
Sammy Sosa
(1968)
Tonya Harding
(1970)
Ryan Gosling
(1980)
Omarion
(1985)
She's
Having an Affair
Paddy and his two friends are talking
at work. His first friend says, "I think my wife
is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home
and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says, "I think my wife
is having an affair with the plumber. The other day I found a wrench
under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Paddy says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a
horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.
"No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a
jockey under our bed."
Hot Off The Press
Quickie
Q. Why did the guru refuse novacaine when he went to
his dentist?
A. He wanted to transcend dental medication.
Me
What
is the Daily Buzzword for November 12th?
suffrage \SUH-fuh-rij\
noun
What does it mean?
: the right of voting; also : the exercise of such right
How do you use it?
Elizabeth Cady Stanton, who worked beside Susan B. Anthony
as a leader in the movement for women's suffrage, was born on
this date in 1815.
Are you a word wiz?
Nowadays, "suffrage" is often associated with voting, but
it also has another meaning. In the 1600s, a writer used
that other meaning when he noted that a chapel was only for
"private or secret suffrages." Judging from that quotation,
what do you think the other meaning of "suffrage" is?
A. prayer
B. meeting
C. gift
D. pledge
Answer:
"Suffrage" has been used to mean "prayer" since the 14th
century. So how did "suffrage" come to mean "a vote" or "the
right to vote"? To answer that, we must look to the word's
Latin ancestor, "suffragium," which can be translated as
either "vote," "support," or "prayer." That term produced
offspring in many languages. English picked up its two senses
of "suffrage" from two different places. English speakers
learned the "prayer" sense from a Middle French descendant of
"suffragium" that emphasized the word's spiritual aspects; we
adopted the "voting" sense directly from Latin.
Today's Jigsaw
puzzle
Chicks
Click here
Chicks
5/31-12/21
That's all for
today. Tune in tomorrow for some more stuff.
The following
is what appeared in Tuesday's Edition...........
In Today's Tribune
Some veterans bear visible signs of their
service: a missing limb, a jagged scar, a certain look in the eye.
Others may carry the evidence inside them: a pin holding a bone
together, a piece of shrapnel in the leg - or perhaps another sort
of inner steel: the soul's ally forged in the refinery of adversity.
Except in parades, however, the men and women who have kept America
safe wear no badge or emblem. You can't tell a vet just by looking.
What is a
vet?
He is the cop on the beat who spent six months in Saudi Arabia
sweating two gallons a day making sure the armored personnel
carriers didn't run out of fuel.
He is the barroom loudmouth, dumber than
five wooden planks, whose overgrown frat-boy behavior is outweighed
a hundred times in the cosmic scales by four hours of exquisite
bravery near the 38th parallel.
She - or he - is the nurse who fought
against futility and went to sleep sobbing every night for two solid
years in Da Nang.
He is the POW who went away one person and
came back another - or didn't come back AT ALL.
He is the Quantico drill instructor who has
never seen combat - but has saved countless lives by turning
slouchy, no-account rednecks and gang members into Marines, and
teaching them to watch each other's backs.
He is the parade - riding Legionnaire who
pins on his ribbons and medals with a prosthetic hand.
He is the career quartermaster who watches
the ribbons and medals pass him by.
He is the three anonymous heroes in The
Tomb Of The Unknowns, whose presence at the Arlington National
Cemetery must forever preserve the memory of all the anonymous
heroes whose valor dies unrecognized with them on the battlefield or
in the ocean's sunless deep.
He is the old guy bagging groceries at the
supermarket - palsied now and aggravatingly slow - who helped
liberate a Nazi death camp and who wishes all day long that his wife
were still alive to hold him when the nightmares come.
He is an ordinary and yet an extraordinary
human being - a person who offered some of his life's most vital
years in the service of his country, and who sacrificed his
ambitions so others would not have to sacrifice theirs.
He is a soldier and a savior and a sword
against the darkness, and he is nothing more than the finest,
greatest testimony on behalf of the finest, greatest nation ever
known.
So remember, each time you see someone who
has served our country, just lean over and say "Thank You." That's
all most people need, and in most cases it will mean more than any
medals they could have been awarded or were awarded.
~ author unknown ~
Thank
you to all our veterans. We salute you.
I've gotten a lot
of complaints about the past editions. "Why don't you keep them up
longer? I didn't get to see that item on my birthday!" Bitch, bitch,
bitch. If you would tune in everyday you wouldn't be missing
anything.
Ok. I've put links
up to the past. They only go as far back as September 23rd. Before
that, tough luck. They're there on the left blue column under
ARCHIVES. The things I do for you people. Don't forget to view the
Morph Gallery too.
Here's today's
tidbits
Born on
November 11th
George Patton
(1885)
Pat O'Brien
(1899)
Jonathan Winters
(1925)
Bibi Andersson
(1935)
Demi Moore
(1962)
Calista Flockhart
(1964)
Peta Wilson
(1970)
Leonardo
DiCaprio
(1974)
Two
Bananas
Two bananas are lying on a river bank when a turd comes floating by.
The turd looks over and says, "Hey! Come on in! The water's fine!"
One banana turns to the other and says,
"Do you believe that shit?.
Diagnostics
What
is the Daily Buzzword for November 11th?
cadet \kuh-DET\ noun
What does it mean?
1 : a student military officer
2 : a student at a military school
How do you use it?
Anne's grandfather was only a cadet at the Naval Academy
during World War I, but he served as a Navy captain in World
War II.
Are you a word wiz?
"Cadet" comes from the Latin word "caput." What do you
think "caput" means?
A. question
B. cape
C. sailor
D. head
Answer:
If you picked D, that's using your head. In the 15th century,
military officers from a certain region of France were called
"capdets"; that word meant "captain" or "chief" in the dialect
of French spoken in the area where the officers were born.
They developed "capdet" from the Latin word "caput," meaning
"head." Other French speakers modified "capdet" to "cadet."
Since it was common for the younger sons of French nobles to
enter the army, French speakers started using "cadet" to refer
to any young person training for military service. English
speakers borrowed that sense of the word in the 17th century.
Today's Jigsaw
puzzle
Loungers
Click here
Hangin'
That's
all for today. Tune in tomorrow for some more stuff.
The following
is what appeared in Monday's Edition.................
Here's a message
that Timi gave me regarding Patch, the Watson's dog. Due to a mix up
on my part, it's a little late.
On October 28th our family lost one of our canine companions.
Patch our Boston Terrier died due to respiratory problems.
Nikko and Destini wanted to let the family know how much we
loved Patch and how much he will be missed.
Dogs/animals are special because they give us unconditional love.
When we have the tamale party our little bug-eyed dog Patch will
be missing. He loved tamales especially the meat.
I've added the link
to the morph gallery. It's over there on the left side where Vegas
Vinnie used to be. There's some extra bonus pages there so check it
out. I'll be adding more as they come along.
Here's today's
tidbits
Born on
November 10th
Martin Luther
(1483)
Claude Rains
(1889)
Richard Burton
(1925)
Roy Scheider
(1935)
Tim Rice
(1944)
Donna Fargo
(1949)
Sinbad
(1956)
MacKenzie Phillips
(1959)
Different
Bars
A Scotsman, an Italian, and an Irishman are in a bar. They are
having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place. Then
the Scotsman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from,
back in Glasgee, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, ye buy a
drink, ye buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy yir
third drink."
The others agree that sounds like a good place. Then the Italian
says, "Yeah, dat's a nica bar, but where I come from, dere's a
better one. In Roma, dere's this place, Vincenzo's. At Vincenzo's,
you buy a drink, Vincenzo buys you a drink. You buy anudda drink,
Vincenzo buys you anudda drink."
Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar. Then the Irishman
says, "You tink dat's great? Where Oi come from in Oirland, dere's
dis Place called Morphy's. At Morphy's, dey boy you your forst
drink, dey boy you your second drink, dey boy you your tird drink,
and den, dey take you in de back and you get sex."
"Wow," say the other two. "That's fantastic. Did that actually
happen to you?"
"No," replies the Irish guy, "but it happened to me sister."
Hot Off The
Press
2 Quickies
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid,
the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.
------------------------
There were two ships...one had red paint, one had blue paint
They collided.
At last report, the survivors were marooned!
Alien Jokers
What
is the Daily Buzzword for November 10th?
hesitant \HEZ-uh-tunt\
adjective
What does it mean?
: showing indecision, uncertainty, or unwillingness
How do you use it?
Doug was hesitant to accept the nomination for class
president because it came as such a surprise.
Are you a word wiz?
"Hesitant" has several synonyms and one of them is in the
list below. Don't be hesitant -- just try to choose the word
you think is most likely to mean something similar to
"hesitant."
A. dainty
B. ferocious
C. reluctant
D. boastful
Answer:
"Hesitant," "reluctant," "disinclined," and "averse" mean
not having the will or desire for something. "Hesitant"
implies holding back especially through fear or uncertainty
(as in "answered with a hesitant voice" or "hesitant to try").
"Reluctant" suggests feeling or showing unwillingness (for
example, "reluctant to discuss the issue"). "Disinclined"
conveys unwillingness because of mild dislike or disapproval
(such as, "disinclined to go to the party" or "disinclined
for sports"). "Averse" suggests a holding back from or
avoiding because of strong distaste or dislike (for instance,
"averse to hard work" or "averse to snakes").
Today's Jigsaw
puzzle
Mother,
Daughter
Click here
Mother,
Daughter
That's
all for today. Tune in tomorrow for some more stuff.
