Thursday June 3rd, 2004

 

In Today's Tribune 

 

 

The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.

 

 

Here's today's tidbits

Born on June 3rd

Suzi Quatro (1950)

Curtis Mayfield (1942)

Colleen Dewhurst (1926)

Allen Ginsberg (1926)

Tony Curtis (1925)

Leo Gorcey (1917)

Josephine Baker (1906)

Jefferson Davis (1808)

Kia

Leno-ism

 

The other day, a fiery Al Gore called for the resignation of Donald Rumsfeld, Condoleeza Rice and C.I.A. Director George Tenet. Bush was furious!

He said to Gore, 'Hey, who elected you president?!' 

- Jay Leno

Unpaid Advertisement

Today's useless fact - Who invented basketball?

Basket Ball (the original name of the game) was invented in 1891 by Dr. James Naismith, a teacher at the YMCA Training School in Springfield, Massachusetts. At Hoophall.com, the official site of the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame, we learned that, "The game of basketball was the result of a challenge from a teacher to his student to pique the interest of an incorrigible class during the usually dull winter months."

Apparently, the class was tired of calisthenics and Naismith's instructor assigned him the duty of inventing a new indoor sport. Taking to the task at hand, Naismith rounded up two peach baskets (the janitor didn't have any boxes handy) and a soccer ball. Next, he developed 13 rules for the new game.

He divided his class of 18 into 2 teams of 9 players each (the team today would be the equivalent of 3 guards, 3 centers, and 3 forwards) and set about to teach them the basics of b-ball.

The object of the game was to throw the soccer ball into the peach baskets nailed to the lower railing of the gym balcony. Every time a point was scored, the game was halted so the janitor could lug out a ladder and retrieve the ball. Of course, that didn't happen too often - the score of the very first basketball game ever played was an amazingly low 1-0.

A lot has happened since the introduction of the game and basketball has undergone many changes, both in equipment and rules.

What's The Buzzword For June 3rd?

 Thursday  \THURZ-dee or THURZ-day\  noun

What does it mean?
  : the fifth day of the week

How do you use it?
  Every Thursday, Jenna and Marco skate down to the town
recreation center to practice their skateboard half-pipes.

Are you a word wiz?
  Like all the other days of the week, Thursday is named for
a god worshipped by an ancient civilization. To which ancient
civilization do you think the word "Thursday" can be traced?

  A. the Egyptians
  B. the Norse
  C. the Chinese
  D. the Greeks

Answer:
  "Thursday" honors Thor, the Norse god of thunder and
lightning, so B is correct. Other English names for days are
also based on Norse and Germanic gods -- Tuesday for Tiu, the
Germanic god of war; Wednesday for Wodin, the Norse supreme
god; Thursday for Thor; and Friday for Frigga, the Norse
goddess of fertility. English speakers who coined the names
were emulating the Romans, who honored different gods or
planets on different days. English speakers changed the Roman
gods (Mars, Mercury, Jupiter, and Venus) for more familiar
ones (Tiu, Wodin, Thor, and Frigga). Interestingly, they kept
with the Romans in honoring Saturn ("Saturday"), the sun
("Sunday"), and the moon ("Monday").
 

Today's Jigsaw puzzle 

 

CLICK HERE    KIA & RECO
 

                   That's it for now. Have a nice weekend. See you Monday.

                                                      

                                    

                    The following is what appeared in Wednesday's edition......

In Today's Tribune 

 

 

Sometimes you  have to get to know someone really well to realize you're really strangers.

 -Mary Richards, 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show'

 

Here's today's tidbits

Born on June 2nd

Joel Tobeck (1971)

Jerry Mathers (1948)

Marvin Hamlisch (1944)

Stacy Keach (1941)

Sally Kellerman (1937)

Johnny Weissmuller (1904)

Hedda Hopper (1890)

Sir Edward Elgar (1857)

Nursing home blues

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother
to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be
well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a
chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to
fall over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses
immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her
up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she
starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush
back and once more bring her back upright.
This goes on all morning.

Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is
adjusting to her new home. ''So Ma, how is it here?
Are they treating you all right?'' They ask.
''It's pretty nice,'' she replies. ''Except they won't
let you fart''"

Their First Christmas

Today's useless fact - Whenever you see a short person and a tall person as a couple, people say they look like Mutt and Jeff. Who are Mutt and Jeff?

Mutt and Jeff were comic-strip characters from the early 20th century. A precursor to Laurel and Hardy, they were two working-class everydaymen - drinking, gambling, and getting in hot water with their wives.

In 1907, a San Francisco Chronicle cartoonist named Bud Fisher began drawing a daily comic strip called "Mr. Mutt." A short time later, he added the diminutive Mr. Jeff, and "Mutt and Jeff" was born. Mutt was a tall, lanky man with a penchant for the ponies, while Jeff looked like the Monopoly man after a rough weekend. Mutt and Jeff were affable losers -- the guys in the cheap seats at horse races on a Wednesday afternoon.

The boys started out as an amusing side strip in the Chronicle sports pages, but by 1915 Mutt and Jeff were a national phenomenon. Fisher launched himself full-throttle into a life of fame and fortune (he once owned 50 thoroughbreds), but he quit drawing the strip. He "supervised" a woefully underappreciated team of illustrators and writers until his death in 1954.

Many people consider "Mutt and Jeff" to be the first daily comic strip. While this is open to debate, they were certainly quite popular in their day, even scoring a lucrative cereal sponsorship at the height of their fame. Way to go, fellas!

What's The Buzzword For June 2nd?

 melancholy  \MEL-un-kah-lee\  noun

What does it mean?
  : a sad or gloomy mood or condition

How do you use it?
  Carolina's excitement about moving was tinged with
melancholy because she knew she would have to leave many
friends behind.

Are you a word wiz?
  In medieval times, people thought melancholy was caused
by one of the organs of the body. Which body part do you
think was once considered the root of all gloomy moods?

  A. nose
  B. lungs
  C. stomach
  D. kidney

Answer:
  D might seem funny, but believe it or not, it's correct.
"Melancholy" is a humorous word -- that's "humorous" in the
sense of the bodily humors, the fluids people once thought
controlled human personalities and emotions. People believed
"black bile," which was supposedly a humor made and released
by the kidneys and spleen, caused people to feel depressed and
sulky. In fact, the word "melancholy" traces back to the
ancient Greek terms "melan-," meaning "black," and "cholos,"
meaning "bile." Nowadays, folks know that moods aren't
controlled by humors, but they still use the word "melancholy"
for blue moods.
 

Today's Jigsaw puzzle 

 

CLICK HERE   JEFF & JOE
 

  

                   That's all for today. Tune in tomorrow for more stuff.

                                                      

                                    

                    The following is what appeared in Tuesday's edition......

In Today's Tribune 

 

I haven't been given any details but from what I've read on the messageboard, Larry has received his Degree in Special Education. This event took place on Saturday at Cal State Fullerton. I guess this was a hush-hush thing as none of his significant siblings was invited to the ceremonies, mainly the editor of this great publication. That's all right Larry. I still love you.

                    

                          Congratulations Perfesser! We're all proud of you.

 

 

Here's today's tidbits

Born on June 1st

 

Danny Zavatsky (1982)

Alanis Morissette (1974)

Rene Auberjonois (1940)

Morgan Freeman (1937)

Pat Boone (1934)

Edward Woodward (1930)

Bob Monkhouse (1928)

Andy Griffith (1926)

Marilyn Monroe (1926)

Nelson Riddle (1921)

 

Happy 2nd Anniversary to Erika & Dylan Aquino

The Mistress

A husband and wife were having a fine dining experience at their exclusive country club when this stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.

His wife glares at him and says, "Who was that?!"

"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

"Well that's the last straw," says the wife.

"I've had enough, I want a divorce. I am going to hire the most aggressive, meanest divorce lawyer I can find and make your life miserable."

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more wintering in Key West, or the Caribbean, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Cadillac STS in the garage, and no more country club, and we'll have to sell the 26-room house and move to two smaller homes, but the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

"Who's that with Jim?" asks the wife.

"That's his mistress," says her husband.

She replies, "Ours is prettier."

 

Today's useless fact - Why is normal vision referred to as 20/20?


Visual acuity is expressed as a fraction. The top number refers to the distance you stand from the chart. This is usually 20 feet. The bottom number indicates the distance at which a person with normal eyesight could correctly read the line with the smallest letters. Normal vision is considered 20/20. If your vision is 20/40, the line you correctly read at 20 feet could be read by a person with normal vision at 40 feet.

Of course, just because 20/20 vision is normal doesn't mean it's perfect. A small percentage of the population is blessed with vision better than 20/20, and just recently researchers unveiled corrective lens that offered vision closer to 20/10.

If only all our answers were that clear ;)

What's The Buzzword For June 1st?

jeopardy  \JEH-per-dee\  noun

What does it mean?
  : the state of not being protected from injury, harm, or
evil

How do you use it?
  "[Queequeg's] greatest admirer could not have cordially
justified his bringing his harpoon into breakfast with him,
and using it there without ceremony; reaching over the table
with it, to the imminent jeopardy of many heads, and
grappling the beefsteaks towards him." (Herman Melville,
_Moby Dick_)

Are you a word wiz?
  "Jeopardy" didn't originate in English; it comes from
another language. Hazard a guess -- which ancient language
gave us the word "jeopardy"?

  A. Irish Gaelic
  B. Latin
  C. Old French
  D. Sanskrit

Answer:
  Centuries ago, the Old French term "jeu parti" didn't mean
"danger," but rather "an alternative" or, literally, "a
divided game." That French expression was used for anything
that represented an alternative viewpoint or gave two opposing
viewpoints. When "jeu parti" was borrowed into an early form
of English in the 14th century (where it was respelled
"jeopardie"), it was used to refer to the risks associated
with alternative moves in the game of chess. Almost
immediately, the term came to be used more generally in the
"risk" or "danger" sense that it has today.
 

Today's Jigsaw puzzle 

 

CLICK HERE   THE GRADUATE
 

  

                   That's all for today. Tune in tomorrow for more stuff.

                                                      

                                    

                    The following is what appeared in Monday's edition......

In Today's Tribune 

 

I know that I'm not perfect,
It's the best that I can do,
But everyday, I thank the lord,
For a daughter as special as you.

 

Here's today's tidbits

Born on May 31st

Brooke Shields (1965)

Lea Thompson (1961)

Gregory Harrison (1950)

John Bonham (1948)

Sharon Gless (1943)

Joe Namath (1943)

Johnny Paycheck (1941)

Peter Yarrow (1938)

Clint Eastwood (1930)

Denholm Elliott (1922)

Don Ameche (1908)

Norman Vincent Peale (1898)

Fred Allen (1894)

Walt Whitman (1819)

Danielle Layla Aquino (1983)

My beautiful daughter. It's still so hard to believe that 21 years have passed since you were born. I'm so proud of you for all that you've accomplished and for all the adversities you've managed to overcome. Happy Birthday Nell.

Cow Bug

A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear.

The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket.

It went in one ear and out the udder.

Today's useless fact - How is the television audience for a particular show measured?

Exactly how do television networks determine that they should run Who Wants to be a Millionaire five nights a week and cancel Freaks and Geeks? They need a way to know how many people tune in to their shows so that they can sell advertising and schedule sponsors.

Nielsen Media Research, a pioneer in the field of media audience measurement, samples a cross-section of about 5,000 U.S. households to create the estimates the networks use. Nielsen installs special metering equipment on the TV sets of a small set of participating households; this viewer data is transferred directly to Nielsen's computers.

While a sample of 5,000 households may seem tiny for the purpose of calculating who's watching what, Nielsen's examples demonstrate a four-percent margin of error.

On A Sadder Note

 

Heartbreaker

 

What's The Buzzword For May 31st?

 a cappella  \ah-kuh-PEH-luh\  adjective or adverb

What does it mean?
  : without accompanying instrumental music


How do you use it?
  As a wedding gift to their sister, the brothers sang a song
a cappella during the ceremony.

Are you a word wiz?
  English speakers borrowed "a cappella" from another
language. Which language do you think "a cappella" came
from?

  A. Sanskrit
  B. Malay
  C. Italian
  D. Japanese

Answer:
  Molto bene if you picked answer C. The word "a cappella"
arrived in English from Italian sometime around the mid-19th
century. In Italian, "a cappella" means "in chapel or choir
style." The Italian "cappella" means "chapel" and comes from
the same Latin root as the English word "chapel." At one time,
people thought all "chapel style" music written before the
1600s was performed without instruments. But research shows
that instruments might have doubled or substituted for some
voices back then. Today "a cappella" describes a purely vocal
performance.

Today's Jigsaw puzzle 

 

CLICK HERE   ME & NELL
 

  

                   That's all for today. Tune in tomorrow for more stuff.