Friday, March
5th, 2004
In Today's Tribune
It is with a heavy, saddened
heart that I must tell you that Ralph's Mom, Kathleen, passed away
yesterday. This news took me completely by surprise as last I heard,
she was recovering nicely. Most of us know firsthand what it's like
to lose a Mother so we can relate to what Ralph is going through
right now. Hang in there.
Here's the info on the
funeral arrangements:
Vogler's Funeral Home
Reynolda Branch
2951 Reynolda Rd.
Winston-Salem NC 27106
Telephone # 336-722-6106
Family Night/Viewing: Friday, March 5th - 7-9pm
Funeral: Saturday, March 6th - 11am
Our deepest condolences to
Ralph, Debbie and the rest of the family.
Here's today's tidbits
Born on March 5th
Jake Lloyd
(1989)
Niki Taylor
(1975)
Kevin Connolly
(1974)
Andy Gibb
(1958)
Michael Warren
(1946)
Samantha Eggar
(1939)
Dean Stockwell
(1936)
James Noble
(1922)
Rex Harrison
(1908)
Rose?
An elderly
couple has dinner at another couple's house and after eating, the
wives leave the table and go into the kitchen. The two elderly
gentlemen are talking and one says, "Last night we went out to a new
restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very
highly."
The other man says, "What's the name of the restaurant?" The first
man knits his brow in obvious concentration and finally says to his
companion, "Aahh, what is the name of that red flower you give to
someone you love?" His friends replies, "A carnation?"
"No. No. The other one," the man says. His friend offers another
suggestion, "The poppy?"
"Nahhhh," growls the man. "You know the one that is red and has
thorns?" His friend says, "Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, yes that's it. Thank you !" ..the first man says. He then
turns toward the kitchen and yells, "Rose, what's the name of that
restaurant we went to last night?"
Can you identify this
celebrity from their high school picture?
answer below
Today's useless
fact - Why do golf balls have dimples?
If you were
going to design an object with a wonderful aerodynamic shape, you
would never design a ball. Because a ball is round, air will flow
smoothly around the front half of the ball when it's in flight.
However, as the air flows behind the ball it causes turbulence,
which causes drag and slows the ball down.
A slower ball
means a shorter flight. To be just a bit more scientific, when the
air pressure in front of the ball is significantly higher than the
air pressure behind the ball, drag occurs. A solution to the
problems of an aerodynamic ball would be to somehow increase the
pressure behind the ball so it approximates the pressure in front of
the ball. Because of the dimples in a golf ball, air flowing around
the ball is less turbulent, because each dimple creates a smaller
area for the turbulence and there is much less drag.
To put it
simply, dimples in a golf ball greatly reduce drag and the ball
flies farther. In fact in some studies, a dimpled ball flew four
times as far as a smooth ball.
If you'd like to
prove this theory to yourself, it's quite simple. Take a golf ball
and sand it down until it's perfectly smooth. Then tee off and see
how far the ball travels. Then tee off again with a regular ball and
see how much farther it goes.
Trivia
Answer To Celebrity High
School Picture
Denzel Washington
What
is the Daily Buzzword for March 5th?
plumb
\PLUM\ adverb
What does it mean?
1 : straight down or up : vertically
2 chiefly dialect : to a complete degree : absolutely
3 : in a direct manner : exactly
How do you use it?
Three huge orange and black banners imprinted with the
school's name were hung plumb down the front of the school
building for start of fall term.
Are you a word wiz?
The adverb "plumb" ultimately comes from the Latin word
"plumbum." What do you think "plumbum" refers to?
A. a type of metal
B. a chubby baby
C. a fruit dessert
D. a source of water
Answer:
You were plumb right if you picked A, a type of metal. The
word "plumb" ultimately comes from "plumbum," the Latin word
for the metal lead. "Plumb" first entered English as a noun
in the 14th century, referring to a tool with a lead weight
used to measure whether something is straight up and down.
By the 15th century, the adverb "plumb" showed up, first
meaning "straight up or down, vertically." Since a plumb
shows whether something is completely or exactly straight,
the adverb also took on the additional meanings "completely"
or "exactly."
Today's Jigsaw
puzzle
CLICK HERE
SACK
RACE LOSERS
That's all for this week. Have a safe and pleasant weekend.
The following is what appeared in Thursday's edition..........
In Today's Tribune
I've decided to put this
whole barbecue contest controversy to rest. There is a posting on
the message board from a certain "Oliver Stoned" dated 2/26/04 and
he describes in detail of his "conspiracy theory" involving the
contest. Mr. Stoned's comments are in black and in quotation marks.
My comments/retorts are in Tribune Blue.
Posted by
Oliver Stoned on 2/26/2004
“Rumor has been circulated
across the globe that there is a conspiracy regarding the highly
controversial contest recently conducted by the higher ups at the
Trib publication.”
Conspiracy?
Controversial? Sounds like paranoia to me. There were only 3
semi-finalists and they each had a fair shot at the top prize. If it
were up to me, I would give each of them a barbecue set just for
participating so enthusiastically. Unfortunately, it's not up to me
but to my cheap boss. So there. Talk to my boss.
Higher ups?
Oliver, you must be stoned! I'm the low man on the Trib totem pole.
I reiterate. Talk to my boss.
“There were promises made by
the Trib to purchase BBQ grills and steaks to the winner of said
contest. Since these promises were made to the contest conductors
daughter it was too obvious.”
Again, you
overreact. I did not promise anything. It was an anonymous poster by
the name of “Christine” who told said daughter that IF she
won she would buy her a bar-b-q along with some of that delicious
patented macaroni salad. Personally, I was against the whole idea as
I knew that that would only raise suspicion. Once again, Amerfino
was right.
By the way,
“Christine” did not enter the contest. I urged her to enter and if
she needed help I would only give her subtle hints. Did I tell you
that I talk in my sleep?
“The theory is that these
promises were transferred to that chick on the Westside who happened
to be the handpicked winner.”
Have some
respect! That ain’t no chick. Her’s a teacher. No promises were made
to said winner. Smelly, er, Danielle made an agreement with Ana and
the Tribune had no affiliation to what was spoken between the two of
them.
“Now it has been rumored that
there is a gratuitious BBQ being planned only to be attended by
certain fixers of the contest.”
Now you’ve
really gone off the deep end! I know nothing of a BBQ party to be
held in Westwood on March 27th black tie optional.
B.Y.O.B.
“Our investigators have
spotted said winner at Costco buying a side of beef and 5 gallons of
Carne Asada marinade.”
She was not
buying Carne Asada marinade at Costco. It was teriyaki sauce at
Sam’s Club. I like it on the Oriental side.
“Hmmm...... Why hasn't anyone
heard from said winner ? Has she also been paid hush money ? The
conspiracy lives on. Achtung baby !”
Since the
posting of this message Ms. Villalba has come forward and declared
herself the winner but she has vehemently refused to accept the
prize. She only wants the recognition of being called the winner.
Perhaps Ana would like to raffle off the prize to the
semi-finalists? I could fix, er, set up the rules for that runoff.
Ana?
As for you
Mr. Cockroach, Judge Judy awaits. Bring it on.
Here's today's tidbits
Born on March 4th
Chastity Bono
(1969)
Jason Curtis Newsted
(1963)
Patsy Kensit
(1962)
Chris Squire
(1948)
Paula Prentiss
(1938)
Miriam Makeba
(1932)
Knute Rockne
(1888)
Antonio Vivaldi
(1678)
Faith
A man wanted to determine if both his wife and mistress were
faithful to him. So he decided to send them on the same cruise, then
later question each one on the other's behavior.
When his wife returned, he asked her about the people on the trip in
general, then casually asked her about the specific behavior of the
passenger he knew to be his mistress. "She slept with nearly every
man on the ship," his wife reported.
The disheartened man then rendezvoused with his cheating mistress to
ask her the same questions about his wife.
"She was a real lady," his mistress said.
"How so?" the encouraged man asked.
"She came on board with her husband and never left his side."
Egyptian Archaeological Find
What
is the Daily Buzzword for March 4th?
riot act \RYE-ut-AKT\
noun
What does it mean?
: a strong scolding or warning
How do you use it?
Kim read Steve the riot act when she noticed he wasn't
wearing his seat belt, and he quickly buckled up and promised
never to ride without it again.
Are you a word wiz?
Here are some possible explanations for "riot act," but
only one of them is true -- we made the rest up. Which of the
following do you think truthfully explains the origin of the
term "riot act"?
A. A governor named Riot introduced the
Riot Act to ensure
quiet in libraries.
B. "Riot Act" was the name of a rock band whose music
contained many warnings.
C. The original Riot Act was a law passed to curb large
public protests.
D. The first Riot Acts encouraged people to protest unfair
state policies.
Answer:
We didn't fool you if you picked answer C. Many people were
unhappy when George I became king of England in 1714, and
soon his opponents were leading rebellions and protests
against him. The British government, anxious to stop the
protests, passed a law called the "Riot Act" that allowed
public officials to break up gatherings of twelve or more
people just by reading aloud a special message. That message
warned those who heard it that they could be arrested and
imprisoned for years if they didn't immediately separate and
go home. By 1819, "riot act" was also being used more
generally for any stern warning or reprimand.
Today's Jigsaw
puzzle
CLICK HERE
SACK
RACE WINNERS
That's all for today. Tune in tomorrow for more stuff.
The following is what appeared in Wednesday's edition..........
In Today's Tribune
Artificial
intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Here's today's tidbits
Born on March 3rd
Jessica Biel
(1982)
Jackie Joyner-Kersee
(1962)
Herschel Walker
(1962)
James Doohan
(1920)
Jean Harlow
(1911)
Alexander Graham Bell
(1847)
It's
all in the name:
British Doorman.................Isaiah Olchap
History Teacher..................Ira Call
Chief Justice.......................Judge Mental
Parking Attendant.............. Rick O'Shea
Personal Trainer.................Jim Shortz
Army Chaplain.....................Neil Down
A Geneticist.........................Dr. Jean Poole
A Psychologist.....................Les Moody
Tax Consultant.....................Lou Pole."
Can You Identify This
Celebrity By His School Picture?
answer below
Today's useless fact
- "Freelance":
Does your circle of
acquaintances include a freelance artist or writer? Or maybe a
musician or tax preparer? Whatever his or her field of activity may
be, the modern freelancer is not on a payroll. Instead, services or
products are offered directly to purchasers—often without a middle
man.
The "lance" part of
"freelance" harks back to the Middle Ages when knights fought with
sword and lance. Most warriors had sworn allegiance to the king or
lord of their realm. Others were roving soldiers or medieval
mercenaries who operated on their own, offering their swords,
lances, and services to the highest bidder. Freebooters arose a few
centuries later, and these fellows outfitted their own ships in
order to prowl the seas. Today, we call them pirates.
The term
"freelance" was popularized by the novel "Ivanhoe", published in
1819. Oddly enough, the book was written by a knight, Sir Walter
Scott. "Ivanhoe" brought to us a term that is more poetic and
versatile than "self-employed person."
Answer to Celebrity School
Picture
Johnny Cash
What
is the Daily Buzzword for March 3rd?
thwart
\THWORT\ verb
What does it mean?
1 : to stand in the way of : hinder by opposing
2 : to oppose successfully
How do you use it?
In order to thwart computer viruses, Joseph installed the
latest anti-virus software.
Are you a word wiz?
We won't stand in the way of you proving the quality of
your vocabulary. Just look at the definition of "thwart"
again, then tell us which of the following words you think
is a synonym of it.
A. to goad
B. to comprehend
C. to rankle
D. to foil
Answer:
We hope nothing thwarted your efforts to select D. You may
know "foil" as something for wrapping leftovers, but it is
also used as a verb meaning "to defeat" (think of cartoon
characters who cry, "Drat! Foiled again!"). "Thwart," "foil,"
and another synonym, "baffle," all suggest blocking someone
from achieving a goal. "Thwart" indicates frustration caused
by opposition. ("Our picnic plans were thwarted by bad
weather.") "Foil" implies defeat that discourages further
effort. ("The car thief was foiled by our alarm.") "Baffle"
suggests frustration caused by confusion. ("We were baffled
by all the rules and regulations.")
Today's Jigsaw
puzzle
CLICK HERE
CHRISTINE,
ANA & ME
That's all for today. Tune in tomorrow for more stuff.
The following is what appeared in Tuesday's edition..........
In Today's Tribune
A
conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Here's today's tidbits
Born on March 2nd
Jon Bon Jovi (1962)
Laraine Newman (1952)
Lou Reed (1944)
Mikhail Gorbachev (1931)
Jennifer Jones (1919)
Desi Arnaz (1917)
Dr. Seuss (1904)
Pope
and Boss
The difference between the
Pope and your boss...
the Pope
only expects you to kiss his
ring.
What
is the Daily Buzzword for March 2nd?
pseudonym \SOO-duh-nim\
noun
What does it mean?
: a fictitious name; especially : pen name
How do you use it?
The writer Theodor Geisel, better known by his pseudonym,
"Dr. Seuss," was born one hundred years ago today.
Are you a word wiz?
Happy birthday to Dr. Seuss, who is credited with coining
the words "nerd" and "grinch." But where do you think the
word "pseudonym" comes from?
A. from Hindi, a language spoken in India
B. from the Spanish spoken in Latin America
C. from the Greek language
D. from modern Portuguese
Answer:
We can trace "pseudonym" back to its origins in the Greek
word "pseudonymos." "Pseudonymos" means "bearing a false
name." Greek speakers formed their word by combining "pseud-,"
meaning "false," and "onyma," meaning "name." French speakers
adopted the Greek word as "pseudonyme," and English speakers
later modified the French word into "pseudonym." Many famous
writers (in addition to Dr. Seuss) have used pseudonyms.
Samuel Clemens wrote under the pseudonym "Mark Twain," and
Charles Lutwidge Dodgson used the pseudonym "Lewis Carroll."
Today's Jigsaw
puzzle
CLICK HERE
3
STOOGES LOVER
That's all for today. Tune in tomorrow for more stuff.
The following is what appeared in Monday's edition..........
In Today's Tribune
Happy March 1st everyone!
I want to apologize for the
shortened week last week. My ISP went down and then my computer went
down after that. I couldn't get on the internet for 47 hours 29
minutes and 44 seconds! Talk about withdrawals. I was getting the
shakes after 3 hours. With Neen's help I finally was able to fix the
problem.
We got a lot of stuff to do
today so let's get on with it.
As most of you know, Ralph's
Mom suffered a heart attack last Tuesday and he had to once again
make a trip to North Carolina. Ralph tells us that she is recovering
as well as can be expected. Here's a note that Debbie, Ralph's
sister, wrote to the Tribune regarding Neen's post of Kathleen's
illness.
Thanks to all of the Aquino family for
your love, concern and prayers: not
only for our Mother, but also for our family. We all have to face
crisis in
our lives and I thank God daily for His Love, family and friends
to encourage
and strengthen us in those times.
I'm Thankful for Ralph being able and willing to be here in our
times of
crisis. And a big THANK YOU, to Petra for her love and
understanding and sharing Ralph with us.
Thank you again for your prayers. We love you!
Ralph's Sister,
Debbie
We all wish "Kat" a speedy
recovery.
Here's today's tidbits
Born on March 1st
Jensen Ackles(1978)
Mark-Paul Gosselaar(1974)
Nik Kershaw(1958)
Ron Howard(1954)
Alan Thicke(1947)
Roger Daltrey(1944)
Robert Conrad(1935)
Harry Belafonte(1927)
Pete Rozelle(1926)
Dinah Shore(1917)
Ralph Ellison(1914)
Harry Caray(1914)
David Niven(1910)
Glenn Miller(1904)
Special February
28th Belated Birthday Wishes
Erika Aquino
Erika Aquino and friends
Grandma
& Grandpa
Grandpa and Grandpa were sitting in their porch rockers watching the
beautiful sunset and reminiscing about "the good old days," when
Grandma turned to Grandpa and said, "Honey, do you remember when we
first started dating and you used to just casually reach over and
take my hand?"
Grandpa looked over at her, smiled and obligingly took her aged hand
in his.
With a wry little smile, Grandma pressed a little farther, "Honey,
do you remember how after we were engaged, you'd sometimes lean over
and suddenly kiss me on the cheek?"
Grandpa leaned slowly toward Grandma and gave her a lingering kiss
on her wrinkled cheek.
Growing bolder still, Grandma said, "Honey, do you remember how,
after we were first married, you'd kind of nibble on my ear?"
Grandpa slowly got up from his rocker and headed into the house.
Alarmed, Grandma said, "Honey, where are you going?"
Grandpa replied, "To get my teeth!"
Can You Identify This
Celebrity By Her High School Picture?
answer below
Today's useless
fact - Why is Australia considered a continent and Greenland an
island?
There is really no guideline for differentiating between a continent
and a big island. Geographers just decided that Australia should be
a continent. In fact, Europeans consider the New World (North and
South America) to be one continent, not two, because it is one land
mass. Why they don't use the same logic and consider Europe and Asia
to be one land mass and therefore one continent, is baffling.
If you look at a world map, Greenland appears to be as large as
Australia. This, however, is an illusion created by flattening a
three-dimensional (3-D) globe shape of Earth onto a two- dimensional
(2-D) flat piece of paper. Sixteenth-century sailors found it
difficult to plot their courses on a chart because early maps did
not take into account Earth's spherical shape. On Earth, the lines
of longitude converge on the poles. A man named Gerardus Mercator
(1512-1594) found a way to put segments of this sphere on a flat
paper so that sailors could lay out their compass course by a
straight line. Mercator imagined them on 2-D paper. To make the
segments fit onto a flat square, the northernmost and southernmost
regions had to be exploded or expanded to larger than their actual
proportions. A map of this type is called a "Mercator projection."
This is why Greenland and Antarctica look much larger on a map than
they do on a globe.
Australia is actually three and a half times the size of Greenland.
Australia contains 2,966,200 square miles. Greenland has "only"
840,000 square miles. Greenland is not really one big island, but is
actually several smaller islands covered by a thick ice cap. Without
its ice cap, Greenland's land area would be closer to 650,000 square
miles.
Golfer's Dream
Answer To Celebrity Picture
Susan Lucci
What
is the Daily Buzzword for March 1st?
leonine
\LEE-uh-nyne\ adjective
What does it mean?
: of, relating to, or resembling a lion
How do you use it?
Taylor laughed at her parent's prom picture, her dad
sporting a pastel blue tuxedo and her mom smiling under a
huge leonine mane of hair.
Are you a word wiz?
March is the month that's said to come in like a lion and
go out like a lamb. You know that "leonine" has to do with
lions. Which of the words below do you think has to do with
sheep?
A. ovine
B. vulpine
C. porcine
D. equine
Answer:
There's no reason to be sheepish about choosing answer A.
"Ovine" means "of or relating to sheep," and comes from
"ovis," the Latin word for "sheep." All the other choices
have to do with animals, too. "Equine" comes "equus," the
Latin word for "horse." "Vulpine" comes from "vulpes," the
Latin word for "fox." "Vulpine" is used in reference to the
animal and as a synonym for "foxy" or "crafty." "Porcine"
comes from "porcus," the Latin word for "pig." March 1 is
National Pig Day, so you can call it "porcine" as well as
"leonine."
Today's Jigsaw
puzzle
CLICK HERE
THE WINNERS
That's all for today. Tune in tomorrow for more stuff.
