Founded : December 2000 Created By : Esther Aquino and Joseph Garcia
DEDICATED TO THE MEMORY OF ESPERANZA AQUINO
Founded : December 2000 Created By : Esther Aquino and Joseph Garcia
DEDICATED TO THE MEMORY OF ESPERANZA AQUINO
June 23rd, 2005
In Today's Edition
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
Just a few things for you people to ponder for a couple of days. I hope all of you have a safe and pleasant weekend. Remember who loves you.
Born on June 23rd
Frances McDormand (1957)
June Carter (1929)
Bob Fosse (1927)
Alan Turing (1912)
Edward VIII, King of England (1894)
Alfred Kinsey (1894)
Johannes Gutenberg (1400)
Mr. Devyn Williams
Compassionate Guy
On a beautiful Saturday morning, as the usual foursome rounded the 16th green, a funeral procession quietly passed by.
John, an avid golfer, was about to putt when he suddenly stopped. He stood somewhat at attention, took off his hat, and held it over his heart. His three golf partners were awed by John's display of thoughtfulness. When the funeral procession completely passed, one of the men said, "Wow John, we didn't know you were such a compassionate person."
John looked toward the ground and said, "You know, guys, after 34 years of marriage, that's the least I could do".
"D Rapper" also known as "2cent"
Today's useless fact - Is it harmful to play really loud music in a car?
Yes, in more ways than one! According to the links in the Hearing category, prolonged listening to music over 85 decibels loud -- about the sound level of busy city traffic -- can cause permanent noise-induced hearing loss. Though it takes about 8 hours to harm your ears at 85 decibels, crank the tunes up to 110 decibels, and it only takes a minute and a half to endanger your hearing.
You might be surprised to know that normal speaking is around 60 decibels, a baby crying is about 110, and an airplane taking off is around 140. Car stereos can blast music at levels of 140 decibels and above. Human ears adjust to sound over time, so you may not realize that the music you are playing is loud enough to be harmful.
Besides the damage you're doing to your ears, a university study found that listening to loud noise in cars decreases reaction time and decision-making ability, cutting off the vital fraction of a second it takes to avoid an accident. So booming music while cruising in your car increases your chances of getting into a wreck.
The Buzzword for June 23rd
claustrophobia \kloss-truh-FOH-bee-uh\ noun
What does it mean?
: abnormal fear of being in closed or narrow spaces
How do you use it?
Our guide at the cavern warned us that some of the spaces
inside the cave were very small and could be a problem for
anyone with claustrophobia.
Are you a word wiz?
Have no fear and choose the word that you think is related to
"claustrophobia."
A. clause
B. cyclone
C. cable
D. cloister
Answer:
Today, people usually use "cloister" to refer to a monastery
or convent. But to understand the link between
"claustrophobia" and "cloister," it helps to know that an
early meaning of "cloister" was "an enclosed space." And
"claustrophobia" and "cloister" both stem from "claustrum,"
which means "an enclosed space" or "cloister" -- just the
sort of place that someone with claustrophobia would want to
avoid. ("Claustrum" traces back to the Latin verb "claudere,"
meaning "to close.") Adding the combining form "-phobia" to
"claustrum" provides the fear factor, producing the word for
fear of enclosed spaces.
Today's Jigsaw Puzzle
CLICK HERE
Mascot In Cones
That's all for today. Have a fantabulous weekend.
The following is what appeared in Wednesday's edition.
In Today's Edition
"By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong." - Charles Wadsworth
Born on June 22nd
Eric Stretch (1980)
Carson Daly (1973)
Kurt Warner (1971)
Freddie Prinze (1954)
Cyndi Lauper (1953)
Meryl Streep (1949)
Lindsay Wagner (1949)
Ed Bradley (1941)
Kris Kristofferson (1936)
Joseph Papp (1921)
Billy Wilder (1906)
Keith Rooney
Andy Rooney Speaks Out
1. Andy Rooney on Monica.
Can you believe it? Monica turns 32 next month. It seems like only yesterday that she was crawling round the White House on her hands and knees.2. Andy Rooney on Vegetarians.
Vegetarian--That's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter."3. Andy Rooney on Prisoners.
Did you know that it costs forty thousand dollars a year to house each prisoner? Jeez, for forty thousand bucks apiece I'll take a few prisoners into my house. I live in Los Angeles. I already have bars on the windows.
I don't think we should give free room and board to criminals. I think they should have to run twelve hours a day on a treadmill and generate electricity. And, if they don't want to run, they can rest in the chair that's hooked up to the generator.4. Andy Rooney on Fabric Softeners.
My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, "Married!" and walking away. Fabric softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring. But, it's hard to get that April Fresh scent out of your clothes.5. Andy Rooney on morning differences.
Men and women are different in the morning. We men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.6 Andy Rooney on cripes...
My wife's from the midwest. Very nice people there. Very wholesome. They use words like 'Cripes' 'For Cripes sake.' Who would that be; Jesus Cripes? The son of 'Gosh' of the church of 'Holy Moly'? I'm not making fun of it. You think I wanna burn in 'Heck'?7. Andy Rooney on Grandma.
My grandmother has a bumper sticker on her car that says, 'Sexy Senior Citizen.' You don't want to think of your grandmother that way, do you? Out entering wet shawl contests. Makes you wonder where she got that dollar she gave you for your birthday.8. Andy Rooney on answering machines.
Did you ever hear one of these corny positive messages on someone's answering machine? "Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is: "Share the love." BEEP "Uh, yeah...this is the VD clinic calling....Speaking of being positive, your test results are back. Stop sharing the love.
Today's useless fact - Are there any exercises that will help get rid of a double chin?
Short of a pricey cosmetic procedure or serious weight loss, there are very few realistic, non-surgical solutions to the pesky double chin.
Those unflattering fatty deposits beneath the jaw line are largely determined by a genetic predisposition. Just as some people store fat along their hips, others develop a gut as they age, and still others develop a double, or even triple, chin. This tendency doesn't necessarily correlate with overall obesity, which is why some heavier folks never seem to develop jowls while other, more slender people can sport a floppy neck.
We visited the links in the Facial Exercise category and here's what we learned:
One article recommended the following toning exercise. First, open your mouth as wide as you possibly can. Are you doing it? Now hold that position for about 10 seconds, then relax your mouth, and repeat a few more times. Apparently the muscles that open and close your mouth are located in the exact area you wish to target. For faster results, add resistance by placing a tennis ball underneath your chin while testing your jaw-span.
On the BBC web site, Doctor Rob Hicks provides a variation on this exercise. As you open your mouth wide, pull your bottom lip over your bottom teeth and wiggle your jaw up and down. In addition, he suggests using a skin toner and slapping the area under your chin with the back of your hand.
If preventive measures such as a low-fat diet and good overall fitness don't soften the blow of genetics and aging, try wearing your hair in a more flattering fashion or using make-up to mask reality.
The Buzzword for June 22nd
gladiolus \glad-ee-OH-luss\ noun
What does it mean?
: any of a genus of chiefly African plants related to the
irises and having erect pointy leaves and stalks of
brilliantly colored flowers
How do you use it?
The florist placed each tall gladiolus in the vase first, then
decided which smaller flowers to arrange in front of them.
Are you a word wiz?
What do you think the word "gladiolus" means literally?
A. long leg
B. smiling face
C. little sword
D. graceful pitcher
Answer:
You're pretty sharp if you picked C from the rest of the
bunch. The Latin word "gladiolus" literally means "little
sword," from Latin "gladius," meaning "sword." The ancient
Romans thought that the pointy, slender leaves of the plant
looked like small swords. Many other plants have also been
named after what they resemble. For example, the name of the
flower called the "iris" comes from a Greek word meaning
"rainbow." The appearance of cabbage caused people in France
to give it a name that translates literally as "head" or
"noggin." And Italians gave a relative of the cabbage,
broccoli, a name that derives from an Italian word meaning
"small nail."
Today's Jigsaw Puzzle
CLICK HERE
That's all for today. Tune in tomorrow for more incredible stuff.
The following is what appeared in Tuesday's edition.
In Today's Edition
"Police in Italy say they've arrested horse owners who were feeding Viagra to their racehorses. Apparently, police became suspicious when a horse won a close race and it wasn't by a nose." - Conan O'Brien
Born on June 21st
Prince William (1982)
Juliette Lewis (1973)
Meredith Baxter (1947)
Michael Gross (1947)
Ray Davies (1944)
Mariette Hartley (1940)
Maureen Stapleton (1925)
Jane Russell (1921)
Jean-Paul Sartre (1905)
Sergio Tamayo
Milk Bath
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful.
She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note he felt there must be a mistake.
He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked
on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said,
"I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk.
Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my
bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."
The milkman asked, "Pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No. Just up to my neck."
Today's useless fact - When did brides start carrying bouquets?
The true origins of many wedding traditions are lost in the misty veils of time, but nuptials and flowers have gone together for centuries, perhaps millennia.
According to the links in the Wedding Tips category, wearing a wreath of flowers or greenery during one's wedding dates back to ancient Greece and Rome. Just as Olympic champions were crowned with laurel wreaths, both brides and grooms were decked with beautiful flora. These fruitful garlands symbolized fertility.
Many sources suggest that the bride's bouquet shares these ancient roots. In addition to wearing flowers on her head, the bride might carry a bunch of pungent herbs, the strong scent of which would ward off evil spirits and bad luck. Garlic, chives, and sage were popular bouquet blooms for this reason. Dill, thought to increase sexual desire, was sometimes included.
Flowers and herbs continued to be a part of wedding ceremonies throughout the ages. Rosemary symbolized remembrance and fidelity in the Middle Ages and Renaissance. In China, orange blossoms meant both innocence and fertility. This custom made its way to Spain, where brides began to carry orange-blossom bouquets. When Britain's Queen Victoria wore orange blossoms at her wedding in 1840, the flower became permanently linked with brides.
The Victorians assigned complex meanings to each flower and herb, so a bride had to be careful what she included in her bouquet. Basil meant hatred, and various colors of carnations indicated refusal and disdain. But a bunch of white roses, still a popular choice to this day, declared a worthy bride.
Learn English First
(Thanks to Brat for sending this in.)
The Buzzword for June 21st
dulcet \DUL-sut\ adjective
What does it mean?
: sweet to the ear : melodious
How do you use it?
Once I sat upon a promontory,
And heard a mermaid on a dolphin's back
Uttering such dulcet and harmonious breath
That the rude sea grew civil at her song,
And certain stars shot madly from their spheres
To hear the sea-maid's music.
(William Shakespeare, _A Midsummer Nights Dream_)
Are you a word wiz?
Let's see if you have grasped the meaning of today's Buzzword.
Of the sounds below, which do you think would most likely be
described as "dulcet"?
A. the sound of cats fighting
B. the sound of leaves fluttering in the breeze
C. the sound of a car alarm going off
D. the sound of a balloon popping
Answer:
If B sounded good to you, you picked the right one! Most
people would probably describe the sound of a breeze rustling
the leaves in the trees as "dulcet." "Dulcet" comes from the
Latin word "dulcis," meaning "sweet." "Dulcis" also gave us
"dolce," which is used as a direction in music to tell
musicians to play softly and smoothly. Another "dulcis" word
is also music related. The word "dulcimer" can refer to
either of two instruments, one a stringed instrument played
with light hammers held in the hands, and the other an
American folk instrument with three or four strings that is
held on the lap and played by plucking or strumming.
Today's Jigsaw Puzzle
CLICK HERE
That's all for today. Tune in tomorrow for more incredible stuff.
The following is what appeared in Monday's edition.
In Today's Edition
First of all, I'd like to thank all of you who entered the contest. For a while it looked like there was only going to be two entries. I should have known that in an Aquino contest, everybody would send in their entries at the last possible moment.
Some things never change.
The winning number was 367.
The two winners are Alanah Aquino with 385 and Devyn Williams with 390.
I'll probably be going down to the Heights this weekend so I'll most likely leave the Hillbilly mugs at Neen's place. The winners can pick them up there.
Congratulations Alanah and Devyn!
Born on June 20th
Nicole Kidman (1967)
John Goodman (1952)
Lionel Richie (1949)
Anne Murray (1945)
Brian Wilson (1942)
Danny Aiello (1933)
Martin Landau (1931)
Chet Atkins (1924)
Audie Murphy (1924)
Errol Flynn (1909)
Christian Aquino
Memory Lapse
Joseph and Larry were having lunch and Joseph looked a little upset.
"What's wrong?" asked Larry.
"I'm really worried about myself," Joseph said forlornly. "My memory has always been a source of quiet pride to me, but lately it's been failing me. I'm having a hard time remembering things from the mundane to the major."
"I wouldn't worry too much about it," Larry said consolingly, "sounds like you'll forget all about it tomorrow."
Today's useless fact - How did baseball's seventh-inning stretch get started?
We visited the links in the Baseball History category to answer your question and found that, much like the game itself, the origins of the seventh-inning stretch are clouded in a thicket of hoary anecdotes.
One popular legend lays the blame at President William Howard Taft's feet. During a baseball game in 1910, Taft (who tipped the scales at 300 pounds) stood up during the middle of the seventh inning to stretch his cramped legs. The spectators thought he was leaving, and rose out of respect. When he returned to his seat a few minutes later, the crowd followed suit. Alas, this probably didn't happen.
Another story claims that the seventh-inning stretch began as a way of disciplining unruly students. A prefect at Manhattan College in the late 1800s instructed student supporters to stand up and stretch as a way of exorcising the fidgets. This may have happened, but it wasn't the first time it did.
The seventh-inning stretch has been a documented phenomenon since 1869 and has no finite origin. One early player writes: "The spectators all arise between halves of the seventh inning, extend their legs and arms and sometimes walk about. In so doing they enjoy the relief afforded by relaxation from a long posture upon hard benches."
Whatever its origins, the seventh-inning stretch is now a firmly established part of America's favorite pastime.
The Buzzword for June 20th
pantomime \PAN-tuh-myme\ noun
What does it mean?
1 : pantomimist
2 : a performance in which a story is told by expressive
movements of the body or face
3 : expression of information by movements of the body or
face
How do you use it?
The storyteller's partner performed a corresponding pantomime,
complete with costumes and a few props.
Are you a word wiz?
What do you think the word "pantomime" referred to when it
first came into English?
A. a particular kind of Roman play
B. a bad case of stage fright
C. a kind of face paint used by clowns
D. the town where this type of performance originated
Answer:
While the word "pantomime" does not go all the way back to the
Roman Empire, we can trace it back to the 1500s when it was
first used to refer to a particular kind of Roman play, or a
performer in such a play. This type of play featured a solo
dancer on stage with an accompanying chorus that either spoke
or sang the words of the story. The dancer's movements
interpreted the action. Over the years, the word "pantomime"
was used of several very expressive ways to convey
information, some of them silent and some of them not.
Nowadays, however, we associate "pantomime" with stories told
through action only.
Today's Jigsaw Puzzle
CLICK HERE
That's all for today. Tune in tomorrow for more incredible stuff.
