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                              Thursday, January 22nd, 2004

                                                                     

In Today's Tribune                    

 

Did any of you go to Jeff's CD Release Party last night? If you did, could you write me and give me some details? I'm sure it was a big success. I had to go to work or else I would've gone and hobnobbed with all the celebrities.

 

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Today's edition will be the final one for this week. I've decided to give myself a day off. See all the perks you get when you're the editor? You set your own hours. You don't take any crap from anyone (except maybe Neen). You can take as many vacations a year as you want and no one can say jack shit. I don't have any censors hovering over me so I can say shit as many times as I want. Shit, shit, shit, shit. See? Man, I love this job! Now if I can only find some people that'll read this shit.

 

Here's today's tidbits

Born on January 22nd

Sir Francis Bacon (1561)

D.W. Griffith (1875)

Ann Sothern (1909)

Piper Laurie (1932)

Bill Bixby (1934)

Sam Cooke (1935)

Joseph Wambaugh (1937)

John Hurt (1940)

Steve Perry (1949)

Linda Blair (1959)

Michael Kelland Hutchence (1960)

Diane Lane (1965)

 

 Smart Aleck Kid

Little Johnny's father noticed that Johnny was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate Little Johnny into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, his father said, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."

Little Johnny replied, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."

I was doodling around the other night and I came up with this. It took me a couple of hours to get it just the way I wanted it so please do not turn your monitor upside down and shake it. Thank you.
 

                                           

What is the Daily Buzzword for January 22nd?

travel  \TRAV-ul\  verb

What does it mean?
  1 : to journey from place to place or to a distant place
  2 : to move or advance from one place to another

How do you use it?
  Becky and her family will travel cross-country from Maine to
Montana and back, visiting relatives.

Are you a word wiz?
  For most people today, travel is a pleasure. But "travel"
has a close relative that means difficult or painful work.
Which word do you think it is?

  A. revelry
  B. travail
  C. revelation
  D. traverse

Answer:
  We won't torture you any longer; the right answer is B!
Older forms of the words "travail" and "travel" once meant
the same thing. Both words descended from the same Latin word,
"trepaliere," meaning "to torture." In early French,
"trepaliare" became "travaillier," meaning "to torture" or
"to suffer, labor." English adopted the French word as
"travailen" to mean "to labor." Since getting from one place
to another was tortuous, people in the Middle Ages began
applying "travailen" to the act of making a trip. Eventually,
"travail" came to mean "to work hard" and "travel" came to
mean "to journey from place to place."
 

Today's Jigsaw puzzle         

 

CLICK HERE     SNOW AT STATELINE

 

                    That's all for this week. Have a wonderful weekend.             

                                                       

                                                   

                                                                        

                  The following is what appeared in Wednesday's edition..............

In Today's Tribune                    

 

 

'If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very, very low crime rate.'

- Mayor Marion Barry.

 

 

Here's today's tidbits

Born on January 21st

Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson (1824)

Paul Scofield (1922)

Telly Savalas (1924)

Benny Hill (1925)

Wolfman Jack (1939)

Jack Nicklaus (1940)

Placido Domingo (1941)

Mac Davis (1942)

Jill Eikenberry (1947)

Robby Benson (1956)

Geena Davis (1957)

Hakeem Olajuwon (1963)

Emma Lee Bunton (1976)

 Deodorant

A man walked into a drug store. He went up to the
lady behind the counter and asked if they carried
deodorant.

The lady replied, "Certainly sir, ball type?"

and the man said "No, underarm."

Here's my first attempt at 3D art. When I showed it to Christine she said it looked funky so that's what I named it. Click below.

 

                                                            FUNKY

What is the Daily Buzzword for January 21st?

callow  \KAL-oh\  adjective

What does it mean?
  : lacking adult experience : immature

How do you use it?
  Mr. Brown smiled wistfully as he watched his son join a
herd of callow schoolboys heading toward the playing field.

Are you a word wiz?
  "Callow" developed from "calu," an Old English word with a
meaning very different from today's "callow." Take a wild
guess: what do you think the Old English word meant?

  A. young
  B. smelly
  C. bald
  D. smart

Answer:
  It may sound a little hairy, but "calu" actually meant
"bald." In its earliest uses, "callow" referred to men's
baldness. Later, it was used to name young birds that had
not yet grown any feathers. It was also used to name the
fuzzy chin of a young man who didn't have full facial hair.
Over time, the "featherless" or "hairless" sense of "callow"
gave way to a more general sense of "immature" or
"inexperienced."
 

Today's Jigsaw puzzle         

 

CLICK HERE     CHESHIRE CAT JOE

 

                   That's all for today. Tune in tomorrow for more stuff.              

                                                       

                                                   

                                                                        

                  The following is what appeared in Tuesday's edition..............

In Today's Tribune                    

 

      Jeff Garcia's CD Release Party

 

Tickets are now available for the biggest party event of the year! Jeff
Garcia's "Trippin On Tha Stress" CD Release Party. Come down and party
with your friends and celebrities. Paul Rodriguez and George Lopez have
said they are going to make it along with countless other friends Jeff
knows in the entertainment business.

The Party is scheduled for Wednesday January 21st, at Ibiza's Niteclub
in Uptown Whittier.

Tickets are on sale at:
Ibiza's, 13002 Philadelphia Ave, Whittier CA 90601. Tickets are $20.00
and the party begins at 8:00 p.m.

For further information call Ibiza's (562)693-7998 or

Call Joseph for tickets

CD Party Update

Due to popular demand Jeff will be performing at his CD Party. He was
not originally scheduled to perform, but too many requests changed his
mind.

Also tune in on the early morning shows Tuesday January 20 on KGGI 99.1
and Wednesday January 21 on Hot 92.3 and hear Jeff talk about the CD
Party. (For exact times call the respective radio stations).

 

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Click on the link below to see a clip of Jeff when he was on Star Search

Click on your back button to return to the Tribune

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/star_search/comedian/episode02/jeff_garcia_bio.shtml

 

 

Here's today's tidbits

Born on January 20th

George Burns (1896)

DeForest Kelley (1920)

Federico Fellini (1920)

Patricia Neal (1926)

Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin (1930)

Arte Johnson (1934)

Dorothy Provine (1937)

David Lynch (1946)

Paul Stanley (1952)

Gary Barlow (1971)

 Royal Welcome

At Heathrow Airport in England, a 300-foot red carpet was
stretched out to Air Force One and President Bush strode to
a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II.

They rode in a silver 1934 Bentley to the edge of central
London where they boarded an open 17th century coach hitched
to six magnificent white horses.

As they rode toward Buckingham Palace, each looking to their
side and waving to the thousands of cheering Britons lining
the streets, all was going well. This was indeed a glorious
display of pageantry and dignity.

Suddenly the scene was shattered when the right rear horse
let rip the most horrendous, earth-shattering, eye-smarting
blast of flatulence, and the coach immediately filled with
noxious fumes.

Uncomfortable, but maintaining control, the two dignitaries
did their best to ignore the whole incident, but then the
Queen decided that was a ridiculous manner with which to
handle a most embarrassing situation.

She turned to Mr. Bush and explained, "Mr. President, please
accept my regrets. I'm sure you understand that there are some
things even a Queen cannot control."

George W., ever the Texas gentleman, replied, "Your Majesty,
please don't give the matter another thought. You know, if you
hadn't said something I would have assumed it was one of the
horses."


 

Check this out. Do I know how to make pills or what?

What is the Daily Buzzword for January 20th?

 Fahrenheit  \FAIR-un-hyte\  adjective

What does it mean?
  : relating or conforming to or having a thermometer scale on
which under standard atmospheric pressure the boiling point of
water is at 212 degrees above the zero of the scale and the
freezing point is at 32 degrees above zero

How do you use it?
  Death Valley is known for extreme temperatures including the
record high temperature of 1340 Fahrenheit recorded there in
1913.

Are you a word wiz?
  Where do you think "Fahrenheit" comes from originally?

  A. It comes from the name of a German scientist who
studied temperature.
  B. It comes from the name of the god of weather in Norse
mythology.
  C. It comes from a Swedish word meaning "at that
temperature."
  D. It comes from the name of a place that has extreme
temperature variations.

Answer:
  In the early 1700s, German physicist Daniel Gabriel
Fahrenheit invented two kinds of thermometers and introduced
the temperature scale named for him. By the mid-1750s,
English speakers were using "Fahrenheit" with a number to
indicate a temperature recorded using the Fahrenheit scale.
The Fahrenheit scale is still in general use in the United
States and is often abbreviated "F." Many other English-
speaking countries use the Celsius scale. This scale is named
for its inventor, the Swedish astronomer Anders Celsius, and
is often abbreviated "C." In the United States, the Celsius
scale is used in scientific work.
 

Today's Jigsaw puzzle         

 

CLICK HERE      THE REAL JEFF GARCIA.COM
 

                   That's all for today. Tune in tomorrow for more stuff.              

                                                       

                                                   

                                                                        

                  The following is what appeared in Monday's edition..............

In Today's Tribune                    

 

 

Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.

 

Here's today's tidbits

Born on January 19th

Edgar Allan Poe (1809)

Jean Stapleton (1923)

Tippi Hedren (1931)

Phil Everly (1939)

Michael Crawford (1942)

Janis Joplin (1943)

Shelley Fabares (1944)

Dolly Parton (1946)

Robert Palmer (1949)

Desi Arnaz, Jr. (1953)

Junior Seau (1969)

Shawn Wayans (1971)

Jodie Sweetin (1982)

 You know you're trailer trash when...

Your junior prom had a daycare.

You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

You think loading a dishwasher means getting
your wife drunk.

You wonder how service stations keep their
restrooms so clean.

You've been married three times and still have the
same in-laws.

You let your 12 year-old daughter smoke at the
table in front of her kids.

The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down,
depending on how much gas is in it.".

What is the Daily Buzzword for January 19th?

  eloquent  \EH-luh-kwunt\  adjective

What does it mean?
  1 : having or showing clear and forceful expression
  2 : clearly showing some feeling or meaning

How do you use it?
  Today we celebrate the life of Martin Luther King, Jr.,
the leader of the Civil Rights Movement whose eloquent and
impassioned speeches electrified the nation during the 1960s.

Are you a word wiz?
  Like many English words, "eloquent" derives from Latin.
Which of the Latin words below do you think is the root of
"eloquent"?

  A. "qui," meaning "who"
  B. "locus," meaning "place"
  C. "eligere," meaning "to select"
  D. "loqui," meaning "to talk"

Answer:
  Since "eloquent" has to do with speaking, it makes sense
that it comes from the Latin verb "loqui," which means "to
talk." "Loquacious," meaning "talkative," also arose from
"loqui." Another "loqui" relative is "circumlocution." That's
a fancy way of saying that someone is talking around a subject
to avoid making a direct statement ("circum" means "around").
Another relative is the word "ventriloquist," naming someone
who makes his or her voice sound like it's coming from
something that normally doesn't speak.
 

Today's Jigsaw puzzle         

 

CLICK HERE      TULUM MEXICO

                   That's all for today. Tune in tomorrow for more stuff.