DEDICATED TO THE MEMORY OF ESPERANZA AQUINO
Founded: December 2000 Created By: Esther Aquino & Joseph Garcia
Thursday March 3rd, 2005
In Today's Edition
A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.
~Zsa Zsa Gabor
I don't know about next week. I might be here or there might be a contest. I don't know. It's best you tune in and see. Have a great weekend everybody.
Born On March 3rd
Click here for your horoscope for today
Jessica Biel (1982)
Jackie Joyner-Kersee (1962)
Herschel Walker (1962)
James Doohan (1920)
Jean Harlow (1911)
Alexander Graham Bell (1847)
Sign of Life ?
There were two guys on a motorcycle driving down the road. The driver was wearing a leather jacket that didn't have a zipper or any buttons.
Finally he stopped the bike and told the other guy, "I can't drive anymore with the air hitting me in my chest."
After thinking for a while he decided to put the coat on backwards to block the air from hitting him. So they were driving down the road and they came around this curb and wrecked. The farmer that lived there called the police and told them what happened.
The police asked him, "are either of them showing any life signs?"
The farmer then said, "well, that first one was 'til I turned his head around the right way."
Tamalada Summit
Today's useless fact - Who invented duck tape?
Where would we be without that multi-purpose, fashionably silver adhesive known as duck tape (and, yes, "duck" tape is actually the historically accurate name)? And whom do we have to thank for such an ingenious invention?
According to the links in the Lukol Invention and Innovation category, the tape was a by-product of World War II. In 1942, after numerous cases of ammunition were destroyed by humidity, the United States government turned to wartime supplier Johnson & Johnson, hoping for a fix. J&J promptly responded with a waterproof tape dubbed "duck tape" by the military due to its ability to repel moisture like water off a duck's back. It did the job admirably, and soldiers soon found an assortment of other uses for it as well.
After the war ended, the resultant housing boom inspired yet more uses for the material. Homeowners soon realized how effective the tape was at sealing off ducts -- leading to a change in name (from "duck" to "duct") and color (from army green to silver).
We also found this statement, "No specific person or group of people at Johnson & Johnson have been named in the development of duct tape. Don't ask them... they don't know." Once again, we took that at face value and headed to the J&J web site, only to find a conspicuous absence of info on the material. After a few more failed searches, we thought it safe to say that the nameless employee of J&J will forever remain anonymous.
Ever since the Department of Homeland Security recommended people stuck (sorry, stock) up on it, the tape has been enjoying increased sales and a new vogue As one fan of the device said, "Duct tape is an essential tool for everything that life throws at you."
The Buzzword For March 3rd
harmony \HAR-muh-nee\ noun
What does it mean?
1 a : the combination of musical notes played together as
chords b : the structure of music with respect to the way it
is written and to the way notes are grouped as chords c : the
science of harmony
2 a : pleasing or suitable arrangement of parts
b : agreement, accord
How do you use it?
During their duet at the choir concert, Ronaldo and Alba
hit each note on cue, their voices in perfect harmony.
Are you a word wiz?
Of the languages below, which one do you think played a
part in giving us our word "harmony"?
A. Hebrew
B. Tagalog
C. Spanish
D. Greek
Answer:
Answer D is music to our ears! "Harmony" traces all the way
back to the Greek word "harmos," meaning "joint," from which
came "harmonia," meaning "joint, harmony." "Harmonia" traveled
through Latin and Anglo-French before entering Middle English
as "armony" and then Modern English as "harmony." English has
other musical words with Greek origins. The word "music" traces
back to the Greek word for "muse." Others include "orchestra,"
which comes from a Greek word meaning "to dance," and "rhythm,"
which probably comes from a Greek word that means "to flow."
Today's Jigsaw Puzzle
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Pencils
That's all for this week. Have a super weekend.
The following is what appeared in Wednesday's edition.
In Today's Edition
Born On March 2nd
Jon Bon Jovi (1962)
Laraine Newman (1952)
Lou Reed (1944)
Mikhail Gorbachev (1931)
Jennifer Jones (1919)
Desi Arnaz (1917)
Dr. Seuss (1904)
Good Book
During a sermon, the preacher says to his congregation, "The Bible covers everything. I challenge anyone here to name a subject I can't find in the Good Book."
A woman in a back pew raised her hand and asks, "What about PMS?"
Caught by surprise, the preacher nervously thumbs through the Bible before exclaiming, "Oh here it is."
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."
Today's useless fact - When were credit cards invented and first used?
While we suspected that credit cards were first invented in the mid-1980s to exploit the growing number of late-night infomercials and our own unquenchable thirst for instant gratification, it turns out that the practice of splashing plastic was pioneered a good deal earlier.
According to the links in the Lukol Personal Finance category, credit cards as we know them, good at multiple businesses, were first thrown down in 1951. That's when 200 brave, pre-approved souls were able to present their Diners Club cards at 27 different New York City restaurants and leave with the same amount of cash they walked in with.
According to credit card lore, in 1949, Frank McNamara went to dinner at Major's Cabin Grill and forgot his wallet. After talking his way out of doing the dishes to cover his tab, McNamara thought, "Never again!" In February of 1950, he and a partner founded Diners Club and returned to Major's with a small cardboard card. Frank signed for dinner, without a hassle, and the event was eventually dubbed "the First Supper." Credit cards added the now ubiquitous magnetic stripe in the 1970s and that the rise of plastic ended the production of all banknotes larger than $100.
The Buzzword For March 2nd
compatible \kum-PAT-uh-bul\ adjective
What does it mean?
1 : capable of existing together in harmony
2 : able to cross-fertilize freely
How do you use it?
I had thought my sister's approach to our redecorating
project wasn't compatible with mine, but we were able to put
our new room together in a style we both like.
Are you a word wiz?
Which of the following words do you think is the Latin
ancestor of "compatible"?
A. "compacisci," meaning "to make an agreement"
B. "compati," meaning "to sympathize"
C. "comparare," meaning "to couple, compare"
D. "compartiri," meaning "to share out"
Answer:
We hope you found answer B agreeable. "Compatible" ultimately
traces back to the Late Latin verb "compati," meaning "to
sympathize." Speakers of Medieval Latin used "compati" to form
the word "compatibilis," meaning "sympathetic," which then
traveled into Middle English. In the 15th century, English
speakers first used "compatible" to mean "sharing in another's
suffering," and later used it to mean "capable of existing in
harmony." "Compati" is also the ancestor of "incompatible," an
antonym of "compatible," and "compassion," meaning "sorrow or
pity caused by the suffering or misfortune of another" or
simply "sympathy."
Today's Jigsaw Puzzle
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That's all for today. Tune in tomorrow for more stuff.
The following is what appeared in Tuesday's edition.
In Today's Edition
I received a note from Ralph in response to the message that Neen asked me to publish yesterday. Here is Mr. Tuttle's reaction.
Mr. Tribune Editor:I Appreciate your in-sight and I want to thank you for letting me know about the Wrong-ful Use and Abuse of my Price-less Prize "The Coffee Mug"I have installed a modern type of system in the "Neen" Aquino Heights Home to Monitor the Activity that is going on with my Price-less prize (coffee mug) and other Activities that may occur or may not occur in the House Hold.I do need proof of wrong doing and with this information that I am Sharing with you I feel Confident that all Abuse of my Prize Coffee Mug and all other Activities that may or may not be going on will Cease.If the Abuse and other Activity that may or may not be going on doesn't cease I will send you pictures to post in the Tribune for all Tribune Readers to View!(A Proud Aquino Contest Winner)Sincerely,Mr. Ralph Tuttle Sr.Ralph, knowing Neen I wouldn't count on any of these so-called "Activities" ceasing. I suggest you get your butt down there and pick up your well deserved prize. If you don't - well, I can't wait to see those pictures. Enquiring minds wanna know.
Born On March 1st
Jensen Ackles (1978)
Mark-Paul Gosselaar (1974)
Nik Kershaw (1958)
Ron Howard (1954)
Alan Thicke (1947)
Roger Daltrey (1944)
Robert Conrad (1935)
Harry Belafonte (1927)
Pete Rozelle (1926)
Dinah Shore (1917)
Ralph Ellison (1914)
Harry Caray (1914)
David Niven (1910)
Glenn Miller (1904)
Penance
The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she has a terrible secret and he tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional.
She says, "Father, I never wear panties under my habit."
The priest chuckles and says, "That's not so serious. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers and do six cartwheels on your way to the altar.
Today's useless fact - I've heard that it's considered bad etiquette to cut up all of your food at once. Is this true?
Mom always told us to only cut one or two bites of food at a time, and we wondered why too. Seems more efficient to slice a whole fillet all at once, but then, good manners aren't really about efficiency. After we visited the links in the Lukol Etiquette category, we discovered that Mom had something to do with the reason behind this dictum.
First, we confirmed that proper etiquette requires you cut your food as you go. Emily Post, circa 1922, advises parents to teach their children to "cut off and eat one mouthful at a time." Fast- forwarding to the modern day, syndicated columnist Miss Manners (aka Judith Martin) admonishes adults to "cut each bite of meat only before you eat it."
Why? Because only children have all their food cut up for them at once. When you were too little to hold a knife and fork, your mother chopped up the food on your plate so you could eat it while she enjoyed her own meal uninterrupted. Once you are old enough to slice your food yourself, you're expected to eat slowly in a tidy fashion, one bite at a time.
Cutting up an entire steak all at once makes you appear childish, thus it has become a social "faux pas". If that wasn't enough of a reason to refrain from cutting all your food at once, the practice also makes your food go cold much more quickly.
The Buzzword For March 1st
prosperous \PRAHSS-puh-russ\ adjective
What does it mean?
1 : having or showing success or financial good fortune
2 : strong and healthy in growth
How do you use it?
On New Year's Day, Joseph made a toast wishing everyone a
healthy, happy, and prosperous new year.
Are you a word wiz?
One of the words in the list below means about the same
thing as "prosperous." Which one do you think it is?
A. ailing
B. thriving
C. wandering
D. mending
Answer:
"Prosperous" and "thriving" both mean "successful," but each
has its own personality. "Prosperous" suggests continuing
financial success or well-being (as in "a prosperous family" or
"the most prosperous in the county"). "Thriving" adds to
"prosperous" the idea of healthy growth (as in "a thriving
business"). "Flourishing" is another "successful" word. It
suggests being at the point of greatest success and growth (as
in "a flourishing career as a writer" or "an era of flourishing
industry").
Today's Jigsaw Puzzle
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That's all for today. Tune in tomorrow for more stuff.
The following is what appeared in Monday's edition.
In Today's Edition
Hey Ralph! I don't want to worry you but I think you better pick up your mug pretty quick. Esther says that a certain friend of hers likes chugging his beer from that mug. Something about it tastes better from the mug than from the can and it kinda gives it that earthy ceramic taste to it. Oh, and he likes to put beer nuts in his beer so don't be surprised if you see chunks of nuts stuck to the bottom of your cup. I just thought I'd let you know.
Born On February 28th
Mario Andretti
1940 Auto Racing-500 1969Charles Durning
1933 F-I Walk The Line, Sisters, Front Page, Harry & Walter Go To NYBrian Jones
1942 Rhythm Guitar-The Rolling StonesGavin Mac Leod
1930 TV-Love Boat (Capt)Bernadette Peters
1948 Singer/Dancer (Married Steve Martin); "Gee Whiz"Joe South
1940 Singer-"Games People Play (2-Grammies)", "The Purple People Eater"Tommy Tune
1939 -Eric Lindros
1973 HockeyRobert Sean Leonard
1969 -John Turturro
1957 -Billie Bird
1908 ActressEarl Scheib 1907 Car painter
Erika Aquino
Fishing with the wife
Year after year Ralph's wife pleaded with him to take her fishing, but he kept telling her she would not enjoy it. She finally wore him down, he consented, and early one morning they took off to the lake.
They had not been there very long when the fish began biting. Almost as fast as they cast, a fish would bite, and they reeled it in. After catching their limit, Ralph said, "Sweet thang, I'm sorry. You've been good luck and I'm gonna bring you with me the next time. If you'll mark the spot where we caught all these fish, we'll go home."
On the way home, Ralph turned to his wife and said, "Sweet thang, how did you mark the spot were all the fish are so next time I'll know?"
"Ralph, Darling, I put a big "X" on the side of the boat right down close to the water."
"Sweet thang, that's about the dumbest thing I ever seed you do. Don't you know that won't work? We may not get the same boat the next time!"
Today's useless fact - How do squirrels remember where they put all their nuts?
To uncover the secret behind the cagey critters' mental ability, we visited the links in the Lukol Squirrel category to see what we could unearth. We learned that squirrels are wily, long-term strategists. Once they've collected an assortment of nuts and cones, they hoard their haul to make it through the long, cruel winter.
The bushy-tailed rodents employ two different practices for stocking their winter pantry. One method is known as "scatter- hoarding," in which the animal places a handful of nuts and seeds in numerous locations -- that way if another critter finds one stash, chances are their remaining stores will stay hidden. The other method is "larder-hoarding," when a squirrel will select just a few locations and store a mother lode within each. Pine squirrels do this, and perhaps as a result, are extremely territorial. To prevent other animals from stealing their vittles, they'll dig a pit known as a midden, fill it with food, then cover it with leaves and debris to mask their tracks.
So how do they find their stockpile? The Squirrel Almanac's Dr. Peg, a seasoned squirrel researcher, says only further research can explain conclusively, but current data suggest three possibilities: the use of smell, the use of landmarks, or perhaps least likely, relying on a darn good memory. Most of our search results seemed to corroborate the smell theory. A number of sites even indicate that some squirrels can detect scents through many feet of snow.
Despite all their careful planning, hoarding, and foraging, the industrious squirrel population will never find all the nuts they've buried, and their undiscovered stashes help to propagate the world's forests. In effect, the animals are working to replenish and ensure their food supply for generations to come. How's that for shrewd resource management?
The Buzzword For February 28th
bona fide \BOH-nuh-fyde\ adjective
What does it mean?
1 a : made or done in good faith b : acting in good faith
2 : genuine
How do you use it?
"As the President finished reading the paper (which I beg
leave to assure my readers is a bona fide copy of one written by bona
fide girls once upon a time), a round of applause followed, and then Mr.
Snodgrass rose to make a proposition." (Louisa May Alcott, _Little
Women_)
Are you a word wiz?
When "bona fide" first appeared in English during the mid
1500s, it was used as an adverb. When do you think English
speakers started using it as an adjective?
A. just before Chaucer wrote _The Canterbury Tales_ in the 1390s
B. close to when Plymouth colony was established in 1620
C. soon after the Declaration of Independence was approved in 1776
D. around the time that _Little Women_ was written in the 1860s
Answer:
You're a bona fide word wiz if you chose B. English speakers
adopted the Latin "bona fide" meaning "in good faith" in the
mid-1500s. At that time, it was used as an adverb. By the 1630s, not
long after Plymouth colony was established, people were also using "bona
fide" as an adjective. Some bona fide synonyms of "bona fide" include
"authentic," "genuine," "actual," and "real."
Today's Jigsaw Puzzle
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That's all for today. Tune in tomorrow for more stuff.
