Friday,
December 5th, 2003
In Today's Tribune
TGIF. Today's a big
day for us. We're gonna get our Christmas tree. This will be our
first tree since we moved out here. These last two years I guess we
felt it wasn't worth the trouble for just the two of us. This year
we got to reminiscing about Christmas and we miss those days of
sitting in the living room at night with the tree lit up. It won't
be the same without the girls there or Nell dressing up the piano
with all the ornaments and stuffed Christmas dolls but we feel the
need for the twinkling lights and the smell of pine. Or maybe we
want to recapture the past and relive those moments that we truly
cherish and treasure.
Here's today's
tidbits
Born on
December 5th
Martin Van Buren
(1782)
George Armstrong Custer
(1839)
Walt Disney
(1901)
Strom Thurmond
(1902)
Otto Preminger
(1906)
Little Richard
(1932)
Jim Messina
(1947)
Morgan Brittany
(1951)
John Rzeznik
(1965)
Frankie Muniz
(1985)
Mr. Raley
CHINESE
NEWLYWEDS
A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin. On the
wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her
husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be
reassuring:
"My darring, I know dis you firs time and you bery frighten.
I plomise you, I give you anyting you want,
I do anyting you want. What you want?"
"I want numma 69" she replies.
He looks at her very puzzled and says, "You want..., Beef
with Broccoli?" !
What
is the Daily Buzzword for December 5th?
snazzy \SNAZ-ee\
adjective
What does it mean?
: attractive in a flashy way
How do you use it?
Lucy opened the photo album to an old picture of her dad
dressed for his junior prom in a bright yellow tuxedo complete
with a snazzy silk bowtie.
Are you a word wiz?
Nobody knows the origin of the word "snazzy." But we do know
that it was first used in the 1930s. Which of the following
words do you think was first used around the same time?
A. jittery
B. super
C. wonderful
D. flashy
Answer:
The earliest evidence we have of "jittery" comes from the
early 1930s, the same time period in which the first evidence
of "snazzy" appeared. The 1930s were a productive time for
the coining -- or making up -- of new words. Our evidence
says that "hairdo" was first used in the 1930s, along with
"okeydoke," "double date," and "bagel." Words that are coined
during a given time often give us a clue as to what was going
on in society. Other words from the 1930s that are a kind of
time capsule ("time capsule" is also from the 1930s!) include
"jitterbug," "blitzkrieg," "Disneyesque," and "hiring hall."
Today's Jigsaw
puzzle
CLICK HERE 
THE COMMISH
That's all
for today. Have a nice weekend and we'll see you Monday.
The following is what appeared
in Thursday's edition..............
In Today's Tribune
One day a father of a
very wealthy family took his son on a trip to
the country with the firm
purpose of showing his son how poor people live. They spent a couple
of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very
poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his
son, "How was the trip?" " It was great, Dad." "Did you see how poor
people live?" the father asked. "Oh yeah," said the son. "So, tell
me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.
The son
answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a
pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek
that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they
have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and
they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live
on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants
who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow
theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have
friends to protect them."
The
boy's father was speechless. Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad, for
showing me how poor we are."
Isn't
perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if
we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about
what we don't have. Appreciate every single thing you have,
especially your friends and family.
Here's today's
tidbits
Born on
December 4th
Francisco Franco
(1892)
Dennis Wilson
(1944)
Jeff Bridges
(1949)
Jozef Sabovcik
(1963)
Marisa Tomei
(1964)
Tyra Banks
(1973)
Lila McCann
(1981)
Mrs. "Kat" Tuttle
(Ralph's Mom)
Infrequently
An elderly couple had been dating for some time. Finally
they decided it was time for marriage. Before the wedding,
they went out to dinner and had a long conversation
regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed
finances, living arrangements and so on.
Finally the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the
subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel
about sex?" he asked, rather trustingly.
"Well," she says, responding very carefully, "I'd have to
say I would like it infrequently."
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment. Then over his
glasses, he looked her in the eye casually and asked, "Was
that one or two words?"
Here's
something that Teena wanted to share with all of us
Teena's
Poem
Bakin' Bacon
What
is the Daily Buzzword for December 4th?
curtail \ker-TAIL\
verb
What does it mean?
: to make less by or as if by cutting off part of
How do you use it?
When our teacher realized that the school buses were
already lining up, she curtailed her lesson and dismissed us.
Are you a word wiz?
"Curtail" is adapted from an earlier word "curtal." What
do you think "curtal" meant?
A. "to leave quickly"
B. "to tie one's shoes"
C. "to cut an animal's tail short"
D. "to lower the curtain"
Answer:
Before the 16th century, "curtal" was both a verb that
meant "to dock (or cut short) an animal's tail" and a noun
that meant "an animal with a docked tail." "Curtal" became
"curtail" through a process called folk etymology in which
words are transformed so that they appear to be related to
better-known words. Since the meaning of "curtal" made people
think of animals' tails, they substituted the word "tail"
for "-tal," and "curtal" became "curtail." Eventually
"curtail" came to be used for anything that was made less
by being cut off or as if by being cut off.
Today's Jigsaw
puzzle
CLICK HERE
BEKIN
That's all
for today. Tune in tomorrow for some more stuff.
The following is what appeared
in Wednesday's edition..............
In Today's Tribune
I was practicing my
spreading stroke yesterday and I think I've attained my highest
proficiency for the Tamalada. I don't think anyone can come even a
smidgen close to my level. Not even some worn out old spatula that
was probably owned by Julia Child. There. The gauntlet has been
thrown. Let the bashing begin.
Here's today's
tidbits
Born on
December 3rd
Joseph Conrad
(1857)
Andy Williams
(1930)
Jean-Luc Godard
(1930)
Ozzy Osbourne
(1948)
Julianne Moore
(1960)
Brendan Fraser
(1968)
Bucky Lasek
(1972)
Holly Marie Combs
(1973)
Anna Chlumsky
(1980)
New
Kid In School
It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of
a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.
The
teacher greeted the class and said, "Let's begin by reviewing some
American history. Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me death?"
She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who
had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775," said the boy.
"Now," said the teacher, "Who said 'Government of the people, by the
people, for the people shall not perish from the earth?"
Again, no response except from Toshiba: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "You should be ashamed. Toshiba,
who is new to our country, knows more about it than you do."
As she turned to write something on the blackboard, she heard a loud
whisper: "Damned Japanese."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982," he said.
Suggestion Box
Trivia
What
is the Daily Buzzword for December 3rd?
facetious \fuh-SEE-shus\
adjective
What does it mean?
1 : intended or trying to be funny
2 : flippant
How do you use it?
My brother thought he was being funny during the ceremony,
but his facetious remarks only irritated our teacher.
Are you a word wiz?
"Facetious" is one of several words that try to tickle our
funny bones. Which of the following do you think is a synonym
of "facetious"?
A. palliative
B. witty
C. slapdash
D. brusque
Answer:
"Witty" and "facetious," along with "humorous," have to do
with making people laugh or intending to make them laugh. We
use the word "witty" for things that make us laugh because
they are clever. The word "facetious" applies to attempts to
make us laugh that don't quite succeed, sometimes because the
remarks are made at the wrong time. "Humorous" is the most
broad of these three, and it is used for almost anything that
provokes good-natured laughter.
Today's Jigsaw
puzzle
CLICK HERE
R&C&D
That's all
for today. Tune in tomorrow for some more stuff.
The following is what appeared
in Tuesday's edition..............
In Today's Tribune
Ok. There's been
another turn of events regarding the Tamale Bash or as Timi calls
it, The Tamalada. I tell you, this Bash has been changed more times
than a newborn with diarrhea. Here is The Commissioner's latest
update.
There has been a change in the venue.
The location has been changed for the Tamalada. Tony and Robin
have
graciously opened up their house for the Tamalada.
Here is a list of things needed to insure the success of this Tamale
making party:
1. Tamale leaves.
2. Olives (not-sliced)
3. Green Chili
4. Corn
5. Cheese
6. Oil
7. Ziploc Gallon Freezer Bags
8. Foil
I will provide the masa, homemade chili sauce some of the meat.
Neen is
preparing some pork meat and getting some leaves, tamale pots.
I
believe Tony and Robin are making chicken for the chicken tamales.
I always look
forward to our yearly Tamale Bash as it gives us all an opportunity
to once again interplay with each other and plus we get to eat the
best tamales this side of The Vagones. But as I stressed last year,
Timi is funding everything up-front and I don't think that's fair to
her or her family. If you were to buy tamales at the store, you
would spend 1 to 2 dollars per tamale. That would equate to about
$12 to $24 per dozen. I haven't consulted with Timi but I would
think that about $10 would cover the cost of you taking a dozen home
(Aquino discount rate). Let's make this Bash stress-free and
contribute what you can in elbow grease and money. Contact Timi in
advance. Thanks.
Here's today's
tidbits
Born on
December 2nd
Charles Ringling
(1863)
Maria Callas
(1923)
Gianni Versace
(1946)
Cathy Lee Crosby
(1948)
Michael McDonald
(1952)
Tracy Austin
(1962)
Lucy Liu
(1968)
Monica Seles
(1973)
Ric Felix
(1980)
Britney Spears
(1981)
Alexandra Garcia
Ding
Dong
Upon the passing of her
98-year-old grandfather, Katie went to visit her 95-year-old
grandmother to console her. She asked how Grandpop had died.
Her grandmother replied that he
had a heart attack while they were making love on Sunday
morning.
Horrified, Katie asked her
grandmother, “Didn't you know that two people nearly 100
years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble?
Didn't you thank about that?”
“Oh, no, my dear,” replied Grannie. “Many years ago we
figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells
rang. It was just the right rhythm, nice and slow and even,
simply in on the ding and out on the dong.”
She paused to wipe away a tear and then continued, "And if
that damn ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be
alive today."
Warn A
Brother
The Man
Click here
"D"
What
is the Daily Buzzword for December 2nd?
gerrymander \JEH-ree-man-der
or GEH-ree-man-der\ verb
What does it mean?
: to divide (as a state) into election districts so as to
give one political party an advantage
How do you use it?
The newspaper editorial condemned the plan for new districts
as an attempt to gerrymander the county to favor the sponsor's
party.
Are you a word wiz?
Where do you think the word "gerrymander" comes from?
A. It was the name of a book.
B. It was the name of a biologist.
C. It was the name of a restaurant.
D. It was the name of a politician.
Answer:
Elbridge Gerry was a signer of the Declaration of
Independence who later became governor of Massachusetts. As
governor, he tried to change the shape of voting districts to
help members of his political party get elected. Upon seeing
a map of the odd, lizard-shaped region proposed for Gerry's
home district, a member of the opposing party drew feet,
wings, and a head on it, saying, "That will do for a
salamander!" Another member called out, "Gerrymander!" Thus
"gerrymander" became a term for such political favoritism.
Today's Jigsaw
puzzle
CLICK HERE
The Family
That's all
for today. Tune in tomorrow for some more stuff.
The following is what appeared
in Monday's edition..............
In Today's Tribune
Surprise! Happy
Holidays! I hope I didn't overdo it but I really want to get in the
spirit. Christmas is only 24 days away. Before you know it, it'll be
over with and it'll be back to the same old ho hum drab life. I want
to make it last as long as it can so please indulge me. Maybe it'll
get you in the spirit too. Who knows?
Special Message
From The Commish
I know I am a little late
with this message.
I just want to let everyone know that this year's Tamalada (Tamale
Party)
will be held at Neen's house Saturday December 13th @ 12:00pm. Since
our
Tamale Nazi will not be here for Christmas we are having the
Tamalada early.
It's not the same without
our Tamale Nazi and Robin. I plan on having
Tamales already prepared so everyone can take Tamales home at the
party
instead of Christmas Eve. I always welcome donations but if you can
not
donate please come anyway. We have lots of fun.
The Commish has spoken!!!!!!!!!!!!!
any questions email me or call me
PARTAY!!!
Here's today's
tidbits
Born on
December 1st
Mary Martin
(1913)
Woody Allen
(1935)
Lou Rawls
(1936)
Lee Trevino
(1939)
Richard Pryor
(1940)
John Densmore
(1944)
Bette Midler
(1945)
Julie Condra
(1970)
Angel Contreras
What's
Your Name Again?
Two elderly ladies had been
friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all
kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities
had been limited to playing cards a few times a week.
One day when playing cards, one
looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me. I
know we've been friends a long time, but I just can't think
of your name. I've thought and thought, but I can't remember
it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For
at least three minutes she just stared and glared. Finally
she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
Addicted
Pet Parrot
A man buys a pet parrot and brings him
home. But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so
the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach
him a lesson. He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all
of a sudden the parrot is quiet. The man opens the freezer door, the
parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for
offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness."
The man says, "Well, thank you. I
forgive you."
The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the
chicken do?"
What
is the Daily Buzzword for December 1st?
prowess \PROW-us ("OW" as
in "cow")\ noun
What does it mean?
1 : great bravery especially in battle
2 : very great ability
How do you use it?
Dotty's sewing prowess was evident in the beautiful suit
she made for herself.
Are you a word wiz?
We get "prowess" from the Old French word "prou" meaning
"capable," "good," and "valiant." Which other word do you
think comes from "prou?"
A. improve
B. powerful
C. brave
D. proper
Answer:
If you picked A you should be proud of your language prowess!
Both "prowess" and "improve" are descendants of the French
"prou." Speaking of being proud, "proud" is probably another
descendant of "prou," coming into English before the 12th
century, making it older than both "prowess" and "improve."
Descendants of "prou" can be traced back to an even older
ancestor. Old French got "prou" from the Latin word "prode,"
meaning "advantage." It is definitely to your advantage to be
able to improve yourself to the point of having prowess.
Anyone would be proud!
Today's Jigsaw
puzzle
CLICK HERE
BIRTHDAY BOY
That's all
for today. Tune in tomorrow for some more stuff.
