HEAR WHAT THE CRITICS ARE SAYING:

“Awesome tale!  Kind of hits home......I love “The Way You Make Me Feel” Are you married?”  -   Debbie Rowe

“Bryon reminds me of Capote but much, much younger! … I want to “Rock With You”….email me?”   -   Former Rep. Mark Foley

“Fantastic book ! ….. If they ever make the movie, can I play the role of D ?

 -   Emanuel Lewis aka “Webster”

 

“El libro fantastico ! ….. If they ever make the movie, I would like to play the Mom !"

 -    Salma Hayek

 

 

The following is an excerpt from chapter 2 titled:

“Llamas, Chimps, and Noses, Oh My !”

……. “Son,” My mom expressed with a sympathetic tone. “I thought we could just go to Chucky Cheese,” she paused hoping for a favorable response, then added “Unlimited tokens are on me!” As if that act of generosity would seal the deal.

After a pause and a deep sigh she added, “I know it isn’t Neverland but they have great birthday party rates there!”

My mother did not understand me. She had no clue, like LaToya at a MENSA meeting. I recall how I despised her when she refused to let me go to school in my pajamas.

      “But mom, Michael went to court in his PJ’s,” I tried to explain.

      “NO !” she screamed back. She hurt my feelings and after a few sniffles I retreated into my bedroom and I cowered in the corner with my pet rat “Benny”, he understands me. All the while I was thinking how I wanted to “Beat It” from this place and wondered to myself about the cost of a plane ticket to Bahrain. I fell asleep whispering to myself “I’ll Be There….I’ll Be There…….”

What I really wanted for my birthday was a pet llama. But I knew it wasn’t feasible because you really need a backyard and since we lived in an apartment it wasn’t possible. My next choice was a chimpanzee. My mother also rejected this request for my birthday present. She rejected it like my Uncle Tone rejects one of my weak sissified layups when we played hoops in his driveway. In fact my mother was vehement! Her angry reaction was as if someone mentioned the word “Schwarzenegger” in our apartment.

I would call my chimpanzee “Bubbles Be Alba” after my mom. He could be my little brother. I have a so-called human little brother, we call him D, he has become so darn rebellious. I think it is “Human Nature”, considering his age and everything. He is probably jealous of my look and stylish threads, but he is in denial about it. It is like that cute Justin Timberlake denying any knowledge of his revealing act with Janet. That was a cool concert, I think they even played a football game that day before and after the concert.

 One day I told D, I wanted him to change his name to Jermaine. He reacted by punching me in the nose. I asked him, “Why do you always, ‘Wanna Be Starting Somethin’ ?” He is so “Bad.” My mom had to separate us. Did I mention, I’m a lover not a fighter?

      “You guys!” my mom screamed at us as we have heard her yell a million times before.

      “D, if you keep punching him in the nose, it’s gonna fall off!”

Just then a low watt light bulb went off in my head. I so wanted to be like my idol Michael. I went into the bathroom to inspect the young “Man In The Mirror” (as I always do in admiration) and noticed my nose has been looking a little ethnically smushed lately. I rapidly moonwalked to the phone to get the 411 on Dr. 90210 ……………..

 

That was just a sample of a young man’s thrilling account of a life changing experience.

If you are on the edge of your seat, “You Are Not Alone”

To get the full story, you must buy the book !

To order call:  1-800-Billy-Jean