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Thursday
August 12th, 2004
In
Today's Edition
This is the last
edition for this week but be sure to tune in Sunday when we do it
all over again. Have a great weekend.
Larry, I haven't
received the check yet. Are you sure you sent it
Monday?
Here's Today's
Tidbits
Born on August 12th
Dominique Swain
(1980)
Pete Sampras
(1971)
George Hamilton
(1939)
William Goldman
(1931)
John Derek
(1926)
Jane Wyatt
(1912)
Cantinflas
(1911)
Cecil B. DeMille
(1881)
Anniversary
The aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of the
pigpen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week
would mark their golden wedding anniversary.
"Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill the pig."
The farmer scratched his grizzled beard. "Gee, Martha," he finally
answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for
something that happened fifty years ago."
Mini
Merf
Today's useless
fact - Do identical twins have identical DNA?
LUKOL Genetics Category led us into a fascinating world of
genetics, cloning, and the old "nature vs nurture" debate. As we
soon learned, identical twins, formed when one fertilized egg
splits, are the only people in the world with identical DNA.
Fraternal twins, on the other hand, are formed when two different
eggs are fertilized. Genetically speaking, fraternal twins are no
closer than normal siblings, sharing only about 50% of their
genes.
Although identical twins have the same genotype, or DNA, they have
different phenotypes, meaning that the same DNA is expressed in
different ways.
Traits determined by phenotype, such as fingerprints and physical
appearance, are the result of "the interaction of the individual’s
genes and the developmental environment in the uterus." Thus, a
DNA test can't determine the difference between identical twins,
while a simple fingerprint can.
Seeing
Eye Dog
What's The
Buzzword For August 12th?
humid \HYOO-mid\
adjective
What does it mean?
: damp, moist
How do you use it?
"The day had the softness of early spring; but the weather
was gray and humid." (Henry James, _The American_)
Are you a word wiz?
What other word do you think has to do with being moist or
wet?
A. arid
B. bleary
C. dank
D. fervid
Answer:
"Humid," "moist," "damp," and "dank" mean covered or more
or less soaked with liquid. "Humid" applies to water in the
form of vapor that is in the air, as in "a hot, humid
climate." "Moist" applies to what is slightly wet or not felt
as dry, as in "keep the soil moist" or "the cake was moist
and delicious." "Damp" implies slight wetness and sometimes
suggests an unpleasant amount of moisture, as in "the towels
are still damp" or "the cottage felt damp after the rain."
"Dank" implies dampness that is very disagreeable or
unhealthy, as in "the cellar was cold and dank."
Today's Jigsaw Puzzle
click here
TIGER LILY
That's all for
this week. Tune in Sunday for more stuff.
The following is what appeared in Wednesday's edition.....
In
Today's Edition
Tonight/tomorrow
morning is the peak time to watch the annual Perseids meteor shower.
Scientists predict that you may see 60 to 80 "shooting stars" per
hour this year. Though this won't be as spectacular as the Geminid
meteor shower we all viewed a few years back, the Perseids does
manage to produce some colorful and bright showers of meteorites.
The peak times should
be after midnight to dawn. It is best to observe any meteor shower
in a place void of city lights, preferably in the desert or desolate
area. If your backyard is fairly dark, just set out a lawn chair
facing the southeast and look up. If you're lucky and it's dark
enough, you'll see your share of shooting stars.
Here's Today's
Tidbits
Born on August 11th
Hollywood Hulk Hogan
(1953)
Steve Wozniak
(1950)
Reverend Jerry Falwell
(1933)
Arlene Dahl
(1928)
Mike Douglas
(1925)
Alex Haley
(1921)
Golfing with the
wife
A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple
bruises, two
black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.
"Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet
round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both
sliced our balls into a pasture of cows."
"We went to look for them and while I was rooting around, I
noticed one of the cows had
something white at its rear end."
"I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was
the golf ball with my wife's monogram on it... stuck right in the
middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife,
Honey, this looks like yours!"
Today's useless
fact - How does an airbag work?
According to a helpful link from Automotive Safety Category,
airbags deploy as a result of a simple but powerful chemical
reaction. When your car is involved in a frontal collision with an
object while traveling over twelve miles per hour, a motion sensor
sends an electrical shock to a small capsule of sodium azide
powder, which instantly turns into inert nitrogen gas. This gas
fills a lightweight nylon bag, which pops out of a latched panel
and covers your head and upper torso. Mind you, this all happens
very quickly. It takes about 30 milliseconds for an airbag to
deploy, while it takes 100 milliseconds to blink. Airbags start
deflating within a second of their release.
When coupled with seat belts, airbags save lives. According to the
National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, airbags reduce the
risk of fatalities and serious injury by 40 to 55 percent.
Bleached Blonde
What's The
Buzzword For August 11th?
proboscis \pruh-BAH-siss\
noun
What does it mean?
1 : a long flexible snout; especially : the trunk of an
elephant
2 : a long tube-shaped bodily part in the mouth region of
an invertebrate (as the sucking organ of a butterfly)
How do you use it?
"'. . . why, what are those creatures, making honey down
there?' . . . and for some time she stood silent, watching
one of them that was bustling about among the flowers, poking
its proboscis into them, 'just as if it was a regular bee,'
thought Alice. However, this was anything but a regular bee:
in fact it was an elephant. . . ." (Lewis Carroll, _Through
the Looking Glass_)
Are you a word wiz?
"Proboscis" traces back to the root "boskein." What do
you think "boskein" means?
A. to smell
B. to feed
C. to stir
D. to feel
Answer:
If you remember that an elephant uses its proboscis to feed
itself, and butterflies and bees use their proboscises to feed
on nectar, you can probably guess that the Greek root "boskein"
means "to feed." Although not so obviously related,
"botanical," meaning "of or relating to plants or botany" or
"made or obtained from plants," also comes from "boskein."
"Boskein" was modified to the Greek noun "botane," meaning
"pasture, herb," which evolved into "botanikos," meaning "of
herbs." The French version of this word, "botanique," became
"botanical" in English.
Today's Jigsaw Puzzle
click here
PIGEON
That's all for
today. Tune in tomorrow for more stuff.
The following is what appeared in
Tuesday's edition.....
In
Today's Edition
Just in case any of you
missed Sunday's "Reflections on my 60th Birthday" by
Petra, you can view it by clicking
here.
We have a winner in the
Tribune Calendar Contest. First of all, I'd like to thank all of you
that participated in the contest.
The secret number was
391.
Larry Aquino was the
closest with 417.
Congratulations Larry!
Give me a buzz and we'll make arrangements to get your calendar and
t-shirt to you.
As you all know, Neen
has relinquished all rights to the Neen Tribune. As Neen
leaves her position of publisher, she asked that we post one last
message to all of you. Here is her message in it's entirety.
A Letter From
The publisher
Yes, it’s true.
The Neen tribune as we knew it will no longer be operating under the
old management. After intense negotiations, the neen tribune was
officially sold to mr. Donald trump!
This will be the
last issue under the current management. Due to low reader
subscriptions and participation, it was very difficult for us to
keep the doors open. The editor started taking more and a much
longer time off due to burnout.
I guess that is
the reason why I sent my two top-notch guys, mr. aquino and mr.
Garcia to enter negotiations into the sale of the neen tribune to
the highest bidder. After a night of carousing in the casinos and
the clubs on the seedy side of las vegas, the two “pendejos”, better
known as “los Babosos”, came back with the best offer they could
get. They managed to get 3 out of 4 of their demands met. The 4th
and most important was the amount of the sale. We asked for no less
than 1.5 million dollars. On this issue mr. trump was not so
accommodating. Now I have to figure out where to spend my vast
fortune of $47.43!
Good luck, mr.
trump, you have now acquired my two best employees. Just make sure
they don’t negotiate for you in las vegas. But then again, maybe
they should.
I would like to
thank all of my loyal employees (until they get soused in las vegas)
for all their hard work and contributions. It is not easy to run a
rag mag like the trib, but they have made it a little easier. To
all of my contributing editors, keeno for your great articles, john
& teena for their insights and perspectives, Dylan for all your
first-hand eyewitness reporting from Europe, skorpio for your
keeping us informed on the world of the stars and for letting us
experience the fabulous meteor shower, chef mussulinguine for all
your scrumptious recipes and all that extra added spice, joseph for
being the catalyst that started this whole crazy thing, mixedflavas
for all your perspectives on that side of life, Ralph for his
entertaining stories from north Carolina, temecia (the commish) for
all your reporting from the Spanish side of the world and everyone
else who contributed in one way or another to making this a success!
Thank you to all
our loyal readers, especially the ones who always responded to our
messages in the messageboard like petra and Ralph, the Watson krew,
Dylan and Erika (especially for being so far from home and still
finding the time to keep in touch), to everyone who responded
anonymously (too chicken to admit who they were?) and everyone who
responded in kind with one way or another.
Thank you all
for helping joseph’s brainchild come to fruition.
I will miss this
little rag mag but I know mr. trump has the two best “pendejo
babosos” in the world. Good luck, you’ve got them now.
The former
publisher
Here she is loading 3+
years of stuff that she accumulated while publisher into the moving
van.
And off she rides into
the sunset.
Here's Today's
Tidbits
Born on August 10th
Antonio Banderas
(1960)
Rosanna Arquette
(1959)
Ian Anderson
(1947)
Rocky Colavito
(1933)
Jimmy Dean
(1928)
Eddie Fisher
(1928)
Rhonda Fleming
(1923)
Herbert Hoover
(1874)
Steve
Roman (I'm sorry but we don't have a
picture of Joey's brother on file)
Country Music
A student of proctology is in the morgue one day after classes,
wanting to get a little practice in before the final exams. He goes
over to a table where a body is lying face down. He uncovers the
body and, to his surprise, he finds a cork in the corpse's rectum.
Figuring that this is fairly unusual, he pulls the cork out and, to
his absolute surprise, music begins playing: "On the road
again...just can't wait to get on the road again..."
The student is amazed, and pops the cork back into the anus. The
music stops. Totally freaked out, the student calls the Medical
Examiner over to the corpse.
"Look at this, this is really something," the student tells the
examiner as he pulls the cork back out again. They hear: "On the
road again...just can't wait to get on the road again..."
"So what?" the Medical Examiner replies, obviously unimpressed with
the student's discovery.
"But isn't that the most amazing thing you've ever seen?" asked the
student.
"Are you kidding?", replied the examiner, "Any asshole can sing
country music."
Feed Me
Baby One More Time.
What's The
Buzzword For August 10th?
speculate \SPEK-yuh-layt\
verb
What does it mean?
1 : to think or wonder about a subject : meditate
2 : to engage in a business deal in which much profit may
be made although at a big risk
How do you use it?
"It is curious to speculate on the feelings of a dog, who
will rest peacefully for hours in a room with his master or
any of the family, without the least notice being taken of
him; but if left for a short time by himself, barks or howls
dismally." (Charles Darwin, _The Descent of Man_)
Are you a word wiz?
Let's speculate a bit about relatives of "speculate."
Which word do you think comes from the same root word as
"speculate"?
A. specialize
B. peck
C. inspect
D. speckle
Answer:
Speculate no more if you picked C, "inspect"! The Latin
word "specere," meaning "to look or look at," is the ancestor
of a host of English words -- including "speculate" -- that
have something to do with looking. "Inspect," meaning "to
examine closely (as for judging quality or condition)" and
"to view and examine officially," is one example. Another is
"expect," which derives from "exspectare," a "specere"
offspring that means "to look forward to." And "respect"
comes from "respicere," a descendant of "specere" that means
"to look back" or "to regard."
Today's Jigsaw Puzzle
click here
TREE SPRINKLE
That's all for
today. Tune in tomorrow for more stuff.
The following is what appeared in
Monday's edition.....
In
Today's Edition
Just in case any of you
missed yesterday's "Reflections on my 60th Birthday" by
Petra, you can view it by clicking
here.
The Calendar Contest
ends at midnight tonight. No one has the correct number so
get your entries in. You can view the contest
page by clicking
here.
The following article and graphics were
submitted by Petra Tuttle.
REMEMBERING MOM
By Petra Juanita
Aquino Tuttle
August 9, 2004
It's hard to
believe that it is almost 21 years since Mom has been gone. She
would have been 83 years old today.
When I was
growing up there hardly was any affection shown in our family. Mom
and Dad came from the "old school" where it seems that only babies
and small children received hugs and kisses.
When I was 10
years old, Dad was working nights at a restaurant so he slept during
the day. Tuesday was his day off and I remember you, my little
siblings, could hardly wait till he woke up. You would keep opening
the door to his bedroom to see if he was awake. As soon as he
awoke, you would all run into his room, jump up on the bed and began
to hug and kiss him and he would give you money. I remember putting
my arms around his neck to give him a hug and kiss, also. He pushed
me away and told me that I was too big for that.
Many
years later, when Mom's health began to fail, she would spend more
time in bed. I would go in to her room to check on her and to see
if she needed anything. I would sit on the edge of her bed and we
would have long conversations. One day, with tears in my eyes, I
asked her, "How come you never told me you loved me?" Her answer
was "I thought you knew".
I love you Mom
and I miss you very much.
Here's Today's
Tidbits
Born on August 9th
Christopher Cuomo
(1970)
Arion Salazar
(1970)
Gillian Anderson
(1968)
Deion Sanders
(1967)
Whitney Houston
(1963)
Melanie Griffith
(1957)
Sam Elliott
(1944)
Robert Shaw
(1927)
Jean Piaget
(1896)
Esperanza Aquino
Silvia & Orlando
Villalba's Anniversary
New Number
A Mom was getting swamped with calls from strangers. The reason? A
medical billing service had launched an 800 number that was
identical to hers. When she called to complain, she was told to get
a new number.
"I've had mine for twenty years," she pleaded. "Couldn't you change
yours?"
The company refused.
So Mom said, "Fine. From now on, I'm going to tell everyone who
calls that the bill is paid in full."
The company got a new number the next day.
Here's the picture for the
August 2005 Tribune Calendar that some lucky person will win
tomorrow. The contest ends tonight.
Today's useless
fact - What happens if you swallow chewing gum?
One of the links in our
Digestive Category
reassures us that the body will get rid of the gum in due time.
However, it does point out that sugar-free gum, whether swallowed or
chewed in large amounts, can cause digestive problems. The sugar
substitutes (hexitol, sorbitol, and mannitol, to name a few) found
in sugar-free gum are not absorbed, but pass into the small
intestine and colon, where they can cause diarrhea.
We wanted a second opinion, so we headed over to the Loyola
University Health System, where a newsletter focusing on health
myths addressed the topic of swallowing chewing gum. In their
opinion, it's not the healthiest thing you can do, but if you do
swallow your gum, it will simply pass through your system undigested
into your stool (much like fiber).
The consensus seems that it's best to toss your chewed-out gum in
the trash, but if you do happen to swallow a piece, don't worry --
it won't sit in your tummy for seven years.
What's The
Buzzword For August 9th?
echelon
\ESH-uh-lan\ noun
What does it mean?
1 : a formation of units (as troops or airplanes) resembling
a series of steps; also : a unit of such a formation
2 : one of a series of levels especially of authority;
also : the people who are at such a level
How do you use it?
A person who becomes Secretary of State has reached the
highest echelon of the diplomatic service in the United States.
Are you a word wiz?
"Echelon" traces back to the Latin word "scala," which
refers to a piece of equipment. Who do you think would have
been most likely to use a "scala" in ancient Rome?
A. a butcher
B. a trash collector
C. a roofer
D. a stone cutter
Answer:
If you picked C, you've hit the nail on the head. A roofer
is likely to need a "scala," or ladder. "Scala" found its way
into Old French as "eschele," from which French speakers made
"echelon," meaning "a rung of a ladder." "Eschelon" developed
figurative meanings, including that of a troop formation that
resembled a series of steps. In English, this meaning expanded
to cover similar formations of ships and aircraft, and later,
the structure of a military organization that was organized by
rank. Today, it can refer to a level in any organization, or
to the people at a particular level.
Today's Jigsaw Puzzle
click here
MOM
That's all for
today. Tune in tomorrow for more stuff.
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