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                                        Thursday, April 8th, 2004

 

In Today's Tribune                    

 

The Ten Commandments display was removed from the Alabama Supreme Court building. There was a good reason for the move. You can't post: Thou Shalt Not Steal Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery Thou Shall Not Lie in a building full of Lawyers and Politicians. It just don't make sense.

 

Here's today's tidbits

Born on April 8th

Kirsten Storms (1984)

Patricia Arquette (1968)

Julian Lennon (1963)

Kofi Annan (1938)

Shecky Greene (1926)

Betty Ford (1918)

Sonja Henie (1912)

Mary Pickford (1893)

          

Coffee Emergency

Jim was in a terrible wreck. He was taken to the hospital where he remained comatose for two weeks and when he awoke he was ravenous. Finding the call button he rang for the nurse and asked if he could have something to eat.

She told him, "You have a broken jaw and it is wired shut. I can't think of anything that you could eat in that condition."

"Well, could I 'pwease' have a cup of coffee?" Jim asked through his clenched jaw.

"We'll try," the nurse told him. "Maybe we can get a straw between your teeth."

But try as they would, it just wouldn't go. Jim grumbled and moaned and swore he was going to die without coffee until the nurse finally said, "Maybe we could give it to you in an enema."

She fixed up the syringe and began to administer it when suddenly Jim winced and drew up.

"Is it too hot?" the nurse asked.

"No, but could you please put some sugar in it?"

I Dream Of Neenie

                                

What is the Daily Buzzword for April 8th?

zoomorphic  \zoh-uh-MOR-fik\  adjective

What does it mean?
  1 : having the form of an animal
  2 : of, relating to, or being the representation of a
deity conceived of in animal form or with animal attributes

How do you use it?
  Ancient Egyptians worshipped many zoomorphic gods and
goddesses including Anubis the jackal, Bastet the cat, and
Buto the cobra.

Are you a word wiz?
  "Zoomorphic" traces to the Greek roots "zoion" and
"morphe." Based on what you know about "zoomorphic," what
do you think its root words meant in Greek?

  A. "animal" and "form"
  B. "zoo" and "ancient"
  C. "god" and "worship"
  D. "not" and "human"

Answer:
  The history of "zoomorphic" is completely logical; it means
"having the form of an animal" and it comes from words that
mean "animal form." The "zo-" of "zoomorphic" derives from
the Greek word "zoion," meaning "animal." (You might know
other English words that come from "zoion," such as "zoo,"
"zoology," and "zoological.") The second part of "zoomorphic"
descends from the Greek "morphe," which means "form." English
contains other form-related "morphe" descendants too,
including "anthropomorphic," which means "having human form,"
and "amorphous" which means "having no form, shapeless."
 

Today's Jigsaw puzzle         

 

CLICK HERE    TONY & BARBARA
 

                         That's all for this week. Have a great weekend.          

                                                       

                                                   

                                                                         

                    The following is what appeared in Wednesday's edition................             

In Today's Tribune                    

 

I want to thank Dylan for sharing his wonderful, excruciating, detailed story of his experience in the Paris Marathon. You went through a lot of pain but I'm sure the end result was totally self-gratifying. Way to go Dyl!

 

 

Here's today's tidbits

Born on April 7th

Russell Crowe (1964)

Jackie Chan (1954)

Janis Ian (1951)

Francis Coppola (1939)

David Frost (1939)

Wayne Rogers (1933)

James Garner (1928)

Ravi Shankar (1920)

Billie Holiday (1915)

Walter Winchell (1897)

          

Test results mix up

Mr. Smith went to the Doctor's office to collect
his wife's test results.
The receptionist said, "I'm sorry, sir, but there has been a
bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the
samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another
Mrs. Smith was sent as well and we are now uncertain which
one is your wife's. Frankly, that's either bad or terrible."
Mr. Smith says, "What do you mean?"
The receptionist replied, "Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested
positive for Alzheimer disease and the other for AIDS. We
cannot tell which is your wife."
Mr. Smith exclaims, "That's terrible! What am I supposed to
do now?"
The receptionist calmly replied, "The doctor recommends that
you drop your wife off in the middle of town and if she
finds her way home, don't go to bed with her.""

                       

What is the Daily Buzzword for April 7th?

pun  \PUN\  noun

What does it mean?
  : the humorous use of a word in such a way as to suggest
different meanings or of words having the same sound but
different meanings

How do you use it?
  The clever pun that Glen had included in his campaign
speech produced a chuckle from the audience.

Are you a word wiz?
  The English language can be used in lots of tricky ways.
Which one of these statements do you think contains a pun?

  A. The St. Bernard pup that Joanne adopted is now as big
as a house.
  B. In summer Sheila sells seashells by the seashore.
  C. Taylor got up at the crank of dawn to be on time for
the game.
  D. "You didn't cause an accident," the officer said, "but
I have to charge you with 'wreckless' driving."

Answer:
  It's D that should tickle your humorous (oops, humerus),
that is, your funny bone. Sentence A is what is known as
"hyperbole," an exaggeration meant to emphasize a point, in
this case the large size of the dog. If you find sentence B
trips up your tongue, that's because it's what we call a
"tongue twister." A series of similar consonant sounds make
it hard to say. Sentence C contains something called a
"malapropism," the use of a word that sounds somewhat like
the right one, but is wrong as used in the statement. Here,
"crank" of dawn should clearly be "crack." That leaves
sentence D in which "wreckless" is used instead of "reckless"
for a humorous twist.   
 

Today's Jigsaw puzzle         

 

CLICK HERE   GRANDCHILDREN

 

                          That's all for today. Tune in tomorrow for more stuff.           

                                                       

                                                   

                                                                         

                    The following is what appeared in Tuesday's edition................             

In Today's Tribune                    

 

 

On Sunday April 4th, Spc. Dylan Aquino ran in the Paris Marathon. It is hard to imagine the punishment your mind and body would go through for twenty six miles. The following is an account by Dylan on this experience. We are all proud of you and it does not surprise us as at all for this latest accomplishment. Congratulations !

 

Hey all,

Let me first start off by saying that I have never felt like this before. I
have aches for bones and muscles that I'm not even sure have names. My
friend (Liam) and I finished, my body hurts, I'm back at work, and I'm
trying not to move very much. Erika was right there with us at the start
point which was very encouraging, because I knew what lay ahead. She also
greeted us at the finish line with chocolate éclairs from Pauls's (ohhhh).

                                

 SGT Burke (Liam) and myself about 1/2 hour before race time in front of the Arch de Triomphe on the Champs Elysees.

 

We started right in front of the Arch de Triomphe (what a place to start)
and ran down the Champs Elysees, to Place De La Concorde, past the Garden of
Tuilerie, past the Louvre, to Place De Bastille, to Bois de Vincennes, etc..
I can't even write how long that race was, it gives me the chills. At about
10.5 miles we had to cut through some trees in the Bois de Vincennes, and
with so many runners it is hard sometimes to pass or even see what is in
front of you. I was running along and rolled my ankle over a root that was
protruding from the ground. I thought I was doomed. It hurt really bad. But
we just kept on chugging (we were running at about an 8 minute 45 second a
mile pace at that point from the start of the race, which was even faster
that our training pace). I'm not going to lie, I saw little purple men and
yellow blob lights when we were running through a dark tunnel that runs
parralel to the Seine. This was at about 26 kilometers (16.2 miles).
Apparently, if you push yourself hard enough this is a regular occurence for
marathon runners. Then at about 30 kilometers (18.641 miles) we hit the
wall. My arches hurt, my feet and my right ankle were in so much pain and I
kept cramping up really bad. It felt like all the muscle in my body was gone
and I was running (with my upper torso) on two sharply pointed sticks. All
you feel is BONE. We decided to stop and stretch quickly, but what we
learned is 1. don't stop !, it is really hard to start again 2. that when
you stretch one muscle the antagonist muscle relaxes (i.e thigh and
hamstring muscles) and can cramp up because the entire time it has been
tensed up. BAD NEWS: We were hurt. GOOD NEWS: We only had about 8 miles to
go. BAD NEWS: We weren't going to go very fast. GOOD NEWS: 8 miles is
nothing when you've gone 19 miles to get there. So we were optimistic.
Nonetheless we finished and it was an experience like none other. You really
don't know how much you can push yourself till you actually face the monster
within and in front of you. I've learned so much about myself, my limits,
and my will to help me in future runs. There are so many things that you can
do to prep yourself and help yourself throughout the run that I never even
considered before this race, but that I know now. In May, Erika was telling
me there is a half-marathon in Prien, Chiemsee (about 45 minutes south of
us) around the lake. I think, if my body heals properly and in enough time,
I might do that one. We'll see. I'm most likely (as far as endurance, build,
and speed is concerned) a better half-marathoner than a marathoner. I say
this because as far as the marathon went, I hit the wall at 18.641 miles,
which is well over a half-marathon. And up to that point we were running at
a fairly quick speed (we started off with the last group and when we hit
that point we had caught up with two groups, and were catching a third
group ahead).

The rest of our time in Paris was great. It probably didn't help my run at
all that for two days before the race we were trotting all over Paris. But
it was worth it. Friday we showed our friend around most of the city and
what we remembered about it when we stayed there (amazing how much we still
remembered, it's like we never left). Saturday we got to spend most of the
day alone. We ate really well, and had a really good time.


-Dylan

P.S We wore our medals all day yesterday through Paris, through the
airports, till we got home. We also got some shirts and a runner's poncho.

                    

                Liam and I fresh (well, not so fresh) off the plane in Munich showing off our medals.

 

Here's today's tidbits

Born on April 6th

 Candace Cameron Bure (1976)

Ari Meyers (1969)

Marilu Henner (1952)

John Ratzenberger (1947)

Philip Austin (1941)

Merle Haggard (1937)

Billy Dee Williams (1937)

Andre Previn (1929)

Butch Cassidy (1866)

          

Honest Man

A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"

"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"

"The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"

                

Today's useless fact - What is the difference between fruits and vegetables?

 

What is a fruit? The answer depends on whether you ask a botanist or a culinary expert. Technically, a fruit is the mature, sexually produced seed-bearing ovary of a flowering plant. Vegetables come from the vegetative or nonsexual parts of the plant (leaves, roots, stems). So fruits include apples, oranges, nuts, and such seed-bearing "vegetables" as peas, beans, squash, eggplants, and tomatoes. The tomato is actually a berry, as is the pineapple. The various types of vegetables include roots (carrots and radishes), leaves (lettuce and spinach), flower buds (broccoli and cauliflower), and stems (rhubarb).

In the culinary world, tomatoes are considered a vegetable and rhubarb is considered a fruit. Nuts fall into a separate category.

What is the Daily Buzzword for April 6th?

modicum  \MAH-dih-kum\  noun

What does it mean?
  : a small amount

How do you use it?
  "If Anton had even a modicum of common sense," Maya snapped,
"he would think things through before rushing into them and
getting himself into trouble."

Are you a word wiz?
  Sometimes words that seem totally different have something
in common. Believe it or not, "modicum" is closely related to
one of the following words. Can you guess which one?

  A. medium
  B. mobile
  C. museum
  D. modify

Answer:
  Don't modify your answer if you picked D, "modify." Just
a small amount of investigating shows that "modicum" and
"modify" are word siblings. Both words come from the same
Latin root, "modus," which means "measure." "Modus" is a
parent that has a large language family. Some of the other
members of this measurable word family include "commode"
(a synonym of "toilet"), "model," "modern," and "moderate."
 

Today's Jigsaw puzzle         

 

CLICK HERE   BEVERY HILLBILLIES 2004

 

                          That's all for today. Tune in tomorrow for more stuff.           

                                                       

                                                   

                                                                         

                    The following is what appeared in Monday's edition................             

In Today's Tribune                    

 

Here's a note from Alanah.

On April 23 my mother and I will be running in the Rally For Life, in Long Beach. It is a walk-a-thon to raise money for the American Cancer Society. If you would like to make a donation to this cause, it would be more than appreciated! The money will go towards researching this deadly disease. Please make checks out to the American Cancer Society. Please send all donations to:

1379 Calle Caballero
San Dimas, CA
91773

Thank you very, very much,
Love and peace,
*~Alanah~*

 

Here's today's tidbits

Born on April 5th

Agnetha Faltskog (1950)

Colin Powell (1937)

Frank Gorshin (1934)

Roger Corman (1926)

Gale Storm (1921)

Gregory Peck (1916)

Bette Davis (1908)

Spencer Tracy (1900)

Booker T. Washington (1856)

          

Teacher's Pet

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.

The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet it's some flowers!"

"That's right!" shouted the little boy.

Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said, "I bet I know what it is! It's a box of candy!"

"That's right!" shouted the little girl.

The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine?" she asked.

"No," the boy answered. The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.

"Is it champagne?" she asked.

"No," the boy answered.

"What is it?" she said.

The boy said, “It’s a puppy!”.

It's A Whole New Game

Baby Delivery

What is the Daily Buzzword for April 5th?

proficient  \pruh-FIH-shunt\  adjective

What does it mean?
  : very good at doing something especially through practice

How do you use it?
  Danielle knew it would take a lot of practice to be a
proficient musician, but she enjoyed her flute lessons and
could already play some short songs.

Are you a word wiz?
  One of the following words is a synonym of "proficient."
Which word is it?

  A. amateur
  B. clumsy
  C. adept
  D. moderate

Answer:
  A proficient synonym spotter would pick C. If you are adept
or proficient at something, you are skillful -- perhaps even
an expert. "Adept," "proficient," "skillful," and "expert"
are all synonyms, but each has its own special personality.
"Proficient" usually describes pure ability that comes from
training and practice ("a proficient swimmer"). "Adept"
suggests an innate ability as well as a learned skill ("an
adept sculptor"). "Skillful" suggests being very able at a
particular task ("a skillful surgeon"). "Expert" suggests
having a thorough knowledge of a subject as well as being
very skillful at working in it ("an expert folklorist").
 

Today's Jigsaw puzzle         

 

CLICK HERE   CHRISTINE AT WORK

 

                          That's all for today. Tune in tomorrow for more stuff.